donât know what might happen if we get into this too deep.â The silence that followed was spooky.
After almost half a minute, I exhaled and locked eyes with Joan. âIs there something youâre not telling me?â
âNo,â she replied with a shrug. âItâs all good.â
Joanâs cousin Larry had recently moved in with her family while his apartment was being painted. Heâd let her borrow his ten-year-old minivan to drive to the restaurant.
âJust thought Iâd ask.â I sniffed and pursed my lips. âIâve been thinking.... If we had an apartment, one with a garage, you or I could buy a decent vehicle. Iâm tired of cruising around in your cousinâs hooptie. And you had the nerve to park that jalopy right next to a brand-new Jaguar! Iâd love to cruise around in a brand-new Mazda or a Jetta.â
Joan took a bite of the garlic bread we had ordered to go along with our steak and lobster dinners. âBe serious, girl. Hiding our new clothes and other stuff is one thing. How would you or I explain a new car while weâre still in school and unemployed? Even if we hid it somewhere, sooner or later somebody would see us in it and want to know who it belongs to. Forget about either one of us getting a car.â Joan snorted, gave me a dismissive wave, and shifted in her seat. It was time to change the subject. âBy the way, are you still sneaking Bobby Hayes into your house after Bertha goes to bed?â
My eyes rolled back in my head. âHe came over last night. He was so hot he couldnât even wait for me to take off my panties. He ripped them off,â I recounted, swooning. âBertha came downstairs to get a glass of milk and almost caught us getting busy on the living-room couch. Thank God weâd finished our business in time.â I giggled and slid my tongue across my bottom lip.
âI thought you said, once she went to bed, she slept like a corpse.â
âShe usually does. But every now and then sheâll get back up and wander down to the kitchen for a snack or something to drink. I really like Bobby and Iâm going to do everything I can to hold on to him. The last boyfriend I had kicked me to the curb after one date because he couldnât deal with Bertha.â
A very cute Italian waiter delivered our main courses, but the smell of all that spicy food was very potent. Joan rubbed her nose and excused herself before she made a mad dash to the ladiesâ room. When she returned about ten minutes later, I folded my arms and looked at her with both eyebrows raised. âI was just about to come check on you. I thought you might have fallen into the toilet.â
âDonât worry about me.â Joan collapsed back into her chair and drank from her water glass. âIâm fine.â She lifted a napkin and wiped her mouth.
âYou donât look fine. Youâve been acting weird and looking sick lately. Right now you look pretty badâdark circles around your red puffy eyes and all. Whatâs up?â I asked, spearing one of the asparagus spears on my plate with my fork.
Joan took a deep breath first and then she started talking again with a grimace on her face. âThereâs something I need to tell you. Iâve been putting it off, but I canât do that any longer. You and everybody else will know soon, anyway. Itâs the reason I donât think we should rent an apartment or buy a car.â She sighed. âI donât know whatâs going to happen to me in the near future. . . .â
âOh no!â I said in a hoarse whisper. âPlease donât tell me youâre dying too! Iâve lost my parents and I donât think I could go on if I lost you too. Do you have a health issue thatââ
Joan interrupted me by holding up her hand. âNo, I donât have any health issues. Well, in a way I do.â
âJoan, stop beating
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