a girl who looks quite familiar. Your brother says, “ Kuya Nathan left that with
me. It’s his sketchbook. He says it might inspire me.” And you realize that the
girl looks familiar because she looks a lot like...you. A happy you, a sad you,
an annoyed you, a bored you—all captured fondly by hands belonging to
someone who obviously appreciates all these various aspects and facets of yourself. Draw
what you love, he said. And he chose to draw YOU.
It is always just a
matter of perspective. When you see Nathan in school after dismissal the
following Monday, you can be mad at him for ratting you out to your parents,
for visiting your house and winning over your little brother without your
knowledge, for being the reason why you’re grounded right now. Or, you can be
happy that he’s in front of you at this moment. You can be happy that he seems
to have forgiven you for everything you’ve done. You can be happy that, when it
all amounts to something, the pure, simple truth is that he loves you.
It is always just a
matter of perspective. This is what you can do: You can take his hand and thank
him. For being patient, for being understanding, for being who he is. You can
thank him for giving you time and space, for driving you home and taking care
of you, for stepping aside and being the bigger person, for knowing you needed
help even when you didn’t ask for it and probably didn’t deserve it. For always
being in the background of your life.
You can say, “I hope
you’re doing fine with Queenie Cooper,” to which he will reply, “I’m not with her. We’re friends. We
have fun. But that’s it.” And then you can say, “I really thought you’d be good
together,” and he will say, “Maybe. But she’s not you, Chrissy.”
And then you can wait
for him to squeeze your hand and smile at you like you are the only person in
the world, or at least the only person in the world for him. You can wait for him to
tell you, “It has always been just you. And it will always be just you,” before
putting an arm around you and offering to walk you to your car.
You
can wait for him to do this. Because he will.
Dear friends,
My
month-long hiatus is over. My parents have finally taken pity on me and
un-grounded me, and it feels great knowing things can go back to the way they
were.
But here’s
the thing: I don’t want things to go back to exactly the way they were. This
past month has made me realize so much, and mostly, it made me realize that
change is inevitable. There has been a lot of speculation about my life lately
(and I really don’t get that—I am not interesting at all), and maybe it’s
time to clear things up. Yes, Nathan and I are officially a couple now. We’re
trying to take things slow, working on building both the friendship and the
romantic relationship. Nico has decided to move back to the States with Enzo;
he feels he can find himself better there. He has promised me that if he ever
comes back here again, he will do it for the right reasons.
Forgiveness—I
guess that’s what this past month has truly been about. People hurt you, and
lie to you, and take you for granted, and treat you badly, but eventually you
learn to forgive. You learn to forgive because you have your own shortcomings
and imperfections. You learn to forgive because life is too short to be bitter
and angry. You learn to forgive because it is the only way you can move
forward.
Which is
why I hope you guys can forgive me for closing this site down. My mind is already
made up—this site has fully served its purpose, and I thank you all for
sharing this with me. Someday, I’d like to be able to be heard in this way
again. But right now, I have my own problems to find solutions for, my own
mistakes to make, my own dreams to chase, and ultimately, my own happiness to
create.
Because,
much like you, I am still learning.
Love
lots,
Chrissy
Next in the
me. It’s his sketchbook. He says it might inspire me.” And you realize that the
girl looks familiar because she looks a lot like...you. A happy you, a sad you,
an annoyed you, a bored you—all captured fondly by hands belonging to
someone who obviously appreciates all these various aspects and facets of yourself. Draw
what you love, he said. And he chose to draw YOU.
It is always just a
matter of perspective. When you see Nathan in school after dismissal the
following Monday, you can be mad at him for ratting you out to your parents,
for visiting your house and winning over your little brother without your
knowledge, for being the reason why you’re grounded right now. Or, you can be
happy that he’s in front of you at this moment. You can be happy that he seems
to have forgiven you for everything you’ve done. You can be happy that, when it
all amounts to something, the pure, simple truth is that he loves you.
It is always just a
matter of perspective. This is what you can do: You can take his hand and thank
him. For being patient, for being understanding, for being who he is. You can
thank him for giving you time and space, for driving you home and taking care
of you, for stepping aside and being the bigger person, for knowing you needed
help even when you didn’t ask for it and probably didn’t deserve it. For always
being in the background of your life.
You can say, “I hope
you’re doing fine with Queenie Cooper,” to which he will reply, “I’m not with her. We’re friends. We
have fun. But that’s it.” And then you can say, “I really thought you’d be good
together,” and he will say, “Maybe. But she’s not you, Chrissy.”
And then you can wait
for him to squeeze your hand and smile at you like you are the only person in
the world, or at least the only person in the world for him. You can wait for him to
tell you, “It has always been just you. And it will always be just you,” before
putting an arm around you and offering to walk you to your car.
You
can wait for him to do this. Because he will.
Dear friends,
My
month-long hiatus is over. My parents have finally taken pity on me and
un-grounded me, and it feels great knowing things can go back to the way they
were.
But here’s
the thing: I don’t want things to go back to exactly the way they were. This
past month has made me realize so much, and mostly, it made me realize that
change is inevitable. There has been a lot of speculation about my life lately
(and I really don’t get that—I am not interesting at all), and maybe it’s
time to clear things up. Yes, Nathan and I are officially a couple now. We’re
trying to take things slow, working on building both the friendship and the
romantic relationship. Nico has decided to move back to the States with Enzo;
he feels he can find himself better there. He has promised me that if he ever
comes back here again, he will do it for the right reasons.
Forgiveness—I
guess that’s what this past month has truly been about. People hurt you, and
lie to you, and take you for granted, and treat you badly, but eventually you
learn to forgive. You learn to forgive because you have your own shortcomings
and imperfections. You learn to forgive because life is too short to be bitter
and angry. You learn to forgive because it is the only way you can move
forward.
Which is
why I hope you guys can forgive me for closing this site down. My mind is already
made up—this site has fully served its purpose, and I thank you all for
sharing this with me. Someday, I’d like to be able to be heard in this way
again. But right now, I have my own problems to find solutions for, my own
mistakes to make, my own dreams to chase, and ultimately, my own happiness to
create.
Because,
much like you, I am still learning.
Love
lots,
Chrissy
Next in the
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