long?”
“Too long. I’ve broken more bones than I can remember, a lot of ’em more than once. But it’s hard to leave. Paycheck’s real good, if you can stick on the bulls long enough to get into the money. But you gotta be young to do it and healthy to win at it. Unless you’re Adriano Moraes.” He shook his head. “That cat musta made a deal with a crossroads demon.”
Lauren smiled. She had no idea who Adriano Moraes was, but presumed he must be the Nolan Ryan of bullriding.
“Anyway, by the time I called it quits at the advanced age of thirty-two, I was neither young enough nor healthy enough to get into the money consistently anymore.”
“So you took your winnings and bought the ranch?”
“Yes, ma’am. My winnings and my endorsement money. Right after I convinced Marlena to be my bride.”
His voice was laced with self-mockery. Again Lauren hurt for him. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
“Wasn’t her fault.” He shook his head and laughed. “Man, I don’t know what I was thinking about. I really don’t. The poor woman went from running with one of the top ten bullriders in North America to being a struggling rancher’s wife.” He tipped up his glass and drained it. “The mistake was mine. I didn’t even stop to think what the adjustment would be like for her.”
Lauren could certainly empathize with Marlena, but she couldn’t let that pass. “No more of an adjustment for her than for you, surely.”
“I was more than ready to give up the adrenaline rush, but Marlena wasn’t. I should have left her in Calgary. At that point,she could probably have snagged herself another rising star no problem. Okay, maybe a champion on the cusp of waning.”
Lauren frowned. “If that were true, what’s she doing here now? Why isn’t she on some cowboy’s arm in Calgary?”
“My fault too.” He twisted the stem of his glass. “The rodeo is for young bucks. Young bucks who have their pick of beautiful women. Powerful as Marlena’s appeal is, the truth is there are plenty of dewy-eyed, starstruck eighteen-year-olds out there ready to snap the up-and-coming champs. Marlena was already on what she called the wrong side of thirty when we met. She ran with me for a couple of years, then after we were married, she stuck it out here for another couple. All in all, it was a poor investment for her. She’da done better to have hooked up with some rich guy on the periphery of the sport, a sponsor or a breeder or something. But I had to go and propose to her.” He shook his head. “I still don’t know what possessed either of us to think that was a good idea.”
Something inside Lauren lurched precariously. She’d never known a man so ready to accept responsibility for…well, for everything. She took the nearly empty glass from him, afraid he would snap the stem as he toyed with it. She refilled it for him and passed it back, topping up her own at the same time.
“It seems to me you’ve taken all the blame here.”
He shrugged. “It was my fault.”
“All of it?” she asked quietly, meaning Marlena’s betrayal, praying she didn’t have to spell it out. She didn’t.
“Marlena had no trouble staying faithful when I was at the top of my game.” He stared into his wineglass again. “Even most of the time when I was hurt. It wasn’t until I dragged her out here that our real problems started. And that, as I’ve already said, was my fault. She needed more attention than I was prepared to give her, and…” He glanced up sharply. “Oh hell, how’d I get sidetracked? Marlena’s got nothing to do with why I’m running a dude ranch for yuppie cowboys.”
“Then tell me what does.”
He put his wineglass down. Lauren got the distinct impression he wanted to stand, or pace maybe, but there was no room in her tiny cabin. Instead he slouched back on the sofa and stretched his legs out in a semblance of relaxation.
“Well, since I couldn’t rub the old man’s nose in it
“Too long. I’ve broken more bones than I can remember, a lot of ’em more than once. But it’s hard to leave. Paycheck’s real good, if you can stick on the bulls long enough to get into the money. But you gotta be young to do it and healthy to win at it. Unless you’re Adriano Moraes.” He shook his head. “That cat musta made a deal with a crossroads demon.”
Lauren smiled. She had no idea who Adriano Moraes was, but presumed he must be the Nolan Ryan of bullriding.
“Anyway, by the time I called it quits at the advanced age of thirty-two, I was neither young enough nor healthy enough to get into the money consistently anymore.”
“So you took your winnings and bought the ranch?”
“Yes, ma’am. My winnings and my endorsement money. Right after I convinced Marlena to be my bride.”
His voice was laced with self-mockery. Again Lauren hurt for him. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
“Wasn’t her fault.” He shook his head and laughed. “Man, I don’t know what I was thinking about. I really don’t. The poor woman went from running with one of the top ten bullriders in North America to being a struggling rancher’s wife.” He tipped up his glass and drained it. “The mistake was mine. I didn’t even stop to think what the adjustment would be like for her.”
Lauren could certainly empathize with Marlena, but she couldn’t let that pass. “No more of an adjustment for her than for you, surely.”
“I was more than ready to give up the adrenaline rush, but Marlena wasn’t. I should have left her in Calgary. At that point,she could probably have snagged herself another rising star no problem. Okay, maybe a champion on the cusp of waning.”
Lauren frowned. “If that were true, what’s she doing here now? Why isn’t she on some cowboy’s arm in Calgary?”
“My fault too.” He twisted the stem of his glass. “The rodeo is for young bucks. Young bucks who have their pick of beautiful women. Powerful as Marlena’s appeal is, the truth is there are plenty of dewy-eyed, starstruck eighteen-year-olds out there ready to snap the up-and-coming champs. Marlena was already on what she called the wrong side of thirty when we met. She ran with me for a couple of years, then after we were married, she stuck it out here for another couple. All in all, it was a poor investment for her. She’da done better to have hooked up with some rich guy on the periphery of the sport, a sponsor or a breeder or something. But I had to go and propose to her.” He shook his head. “I still don’t know what possessed either of us to think that was a good idea.”
Something inside Lauren lurched precariously. She’d never known a man so ready to accept responsibility for…well, for everything. She took the nearly empty glass from him, afraid he would snap the stem as he toyed with it. She refilled it for him and passed it back, topping up her own at the same time.
“It seems to me you’ve taken all the blame here.”
He shrugged. “It was my fault.”
“All of it?” she asked quietly, meaning Marlena’s betrayal, praying she didn’t have to spell it out. She didn’t.
“Marlena had no trouble staying faithful when I was at the top of my game.” He stared into his wineglass again. “Even most of the time when I was hurt. It wasn’t until I dragged her out here that our real problems started. And that, as I’ve already said, was my fault. She needed more attention than I was prepared to give her, and…” He glanced up sharply. “Oh hell, how’d I get sidetracked? Marlena’s got nothing to do with why I’m running a dude ranch for yuppie cowboys.”
“Then tell me what does.”
He put his wineglass down. Lauren got the distinct impression he wanted to stand, or pace maybe, but there was no room in her tiny cabin. Instead he slouched back on the sofa and stretched his legs out in a semblance of relaxation.
“Well, since I couldn’t rub the old man’s nose in it
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