into the alley. Ralph is thankfully nowhere to be seen. I button up my jeans, grab my wallet from my back pocket, and toss a couple of bills at Angela.
“Thanks,” I mutter as she opens the door.
“Anytime!” she replies with another fake smile. She walks around the front of the car, out of the alley, and back toward her corner.
I really hope this will be enough to keep me going.
Chapter 7—Untrustworthy Associates
I shouldn’t be here.
Rinaldo and Felisa have been in her apartment for the last two hours. It’s not like I’m out here, staring at the front door, wondering what they are doing—it’s quite clear. I don’t even wonder why it makes me so angry. It is obvious this isn’t a casual fuck for him. If it were, he’d already be done with her, not buying her diamonds.
They were at Tiffany’s earlier, picking out matching earrings to go with the bracelet.
Knowing Felisa is also acting as Rinaldo’s therapist doesn’t make it any easier. In fact, it just seems to lead me to try to psychoanalyze him. He has Lele. He loves her—I know this. He’s been head over heels for her since the day he met her, and that’s never changed.
So why is he doing this now? Did something change while I was gone?
I've been racking my brain about him, and it's led me to consider myself as well. I know I'm far worse than he is, but if Rinaldo can screw things up, how am I supposed to believe I can do better? I've never had a relationship that's lasted, but I thought Rinaldo's was different. I mean, I don't give a damn about the sex. It's just sex. But feelings? That's something else entirely. Doesn't he realize he's jeopardizing the one thing with real meaning in his life? He has to know that power can be taken away in a heartbeat—but love? No, nobody can just take that away.
I didn’t grow up in the business, and Rinaldo did. That doesn’t make me any less consumed by it now, but I didn’t start out that way. I’m not sure the way I started was any better, but it was definitely different.
I pace back and forth a bit. The wind shifts and brings the intoxicating smell of grilled meats from the steak and sushi place down the street. I’m hungry, and it’s almost enough to make me abandon my post.
I’m really not sure why I’m still standing out here in the cold. There isn’t any point. It’s not like I’m going to jump out at Rinaldo and yell “Boo!” when he emerges from the building. If he were to come out, I’d hide myself away quickly to make sure he doesn’t realize I’ve been following him. He wouldn’t be happy about that.
Rinaldo is right about one thing: I would never hurt him.
I also won’t allow him to hurt himself.
My phone rings, and I see Jonathan’s name on the screen.
“I got somethin’ you need to see,” he says immediately.
“Where are you?” I ask.
“You close to home? We could meet at your place.”
Well, I do need a reason to get out of here.
“Yeah, I’m nearby.”
“Be there in ten.” He hangs up.
Glancing once more at the building where I used to live, I head down the sidewalk to my current apartment and make my way to the elevator. I’m only home long enough to take a piss before Jonathan shows up.
“Like the new digs,” he says politely as he looks around the place.
“It’s all right.” I shrug as I look around. I really haven’t paid much attention to it. The only adjective I can use to describe it is empty .
I guess it suits me.
Jonathan pulls his laptop out of its bag, and I open the fridge and grab a bottle of water.
“Want one?” I ask.
“Sure.”
I toss Jonathan a bottle, and we head into the living room.
“I’ve had someone followin’ Beni,” Jonathan says as he sits down and opens his laptop. “See this guy?”
He pulls up a grainy photograph of Beni talking to a blond guy with broad shoulders. He’s decked out in a tan suit jacket and striped
“Thanks,” I mutter as she opens the door.
“Anytime!” she replies with another fake smile. She walks around the front of the car, out of the alley, and back toward her corner.
I really hope this will be enough to keep me going.
Chapter 7—Untrustworthy Associates
I shouldn’t be here.
Rinaldo and Felisa have been in her apartment for the last two hours. It’s not like I’m out here, staring at the front door, wondering what they are doing—it’s quite clear. I don’t even wonder why it makes me so angry. It is obvious this isn’t a casual fuck for him. If it were, he’d already be done with her, not buying her diamonds.
They were at Tiffany’s earlier, picking out matching earrings to go with the bracelet.
Knowing Felisa is also acting as Rinaldo’s therapist doesn’t make it any easier. In fact, it just seems to lead me to try to psychoanalyze him. He has Lele. He loves her—I know this. He’s been head over heels for her since the day he met her, and that’s never changed.
So why is he doing this now? Did something change while I was gone?
I've been racking my brain about him, and it's led me to consider myself as well. I know I'm far worse than he is, but if Rinaldo can screw things up, how am I supposed to believe I can do better? I've never had a relationship that's lasted, but I thought Rinaldo's was different. I mean, I don't give a damn about the sex. It's just sex. But feelings? That's something else entirely. Doesn't he realize he's jeopardizing the one thing with real meaning in his life? He has to know that power can be taken away in a heartbeat—but love? No, nobody can just take that away.
I didn’t grow up in the business, and Rinaldo did. That doesn’t make me any less consumed by it now, but I didn’t start out that way. I’m not sure the way I started was any better, but it was definitely different.
I pace back and forth a bit. The wind shifts and brings the intoxicating smell of grilled meats from the steak and sushi place down the street. I’m hungry, and it’s almost enough to make me abandon my post.
I’m really not sure why I’m still standing out here in the cold. There isn’t any point. It’s not like I’m going to jump out at Rinaldo and yell “Boo!” when he emerges from the building. If he were to come out, I’d hide myself away quickly to make sure he doesn’t realize I’ve been following him. He wouldn’t be happy about that.
Rinaldo is right about one thing: I would never hurt him.
I also won’t allow him to hurt himself.
My phone rings, and I see Jonathan’s name on the screen.
“I got somethin’ you need to see,” he says immediately.
“Where are you?” I ask.
“You close to home? We could meet at your place.”
Well, I do need a reason to get out of here.
“Yeah, I’m nearby.”
“Be there in ten.” He hangs up.
Glancing once more at the building where I used to live, I head down the sidewalk to my current apartment and make my way to the elevator. I’m only home long enough to take a piss before Jonathan shows up.
“Like the new digs,” he says politely as he looks around the place.
“It’s all right.” I shrug as I look around. I really haven’t paid much attention to it. The only adjective I can use to describe it is empty .
I guess it suits me.
Jonathan pulls his laptop out of its bag, and I open the fridge and grab a bottle of water.
“Want one?” I ask.
“Sure.”
I toss Jonathan a bottle, and we head into the living room.
“I’ve had someone followin’ Beni,” Jonathan says as he sits down and opens his laptop. “See this guy?”
He pulls up a grainy photograph of Beni talking to a blond guy with broad shoulders. He’s decked out in a tan suit jacket and striped
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