Ethan, Who Loved Carter by Ryan Loveless Page A

teeth.
    Nolan and Liz had a king-size bed. Carter lay in the middle with his arms and legs sprawled wide and didn’t reach any edge. The window had dark curtains over it, but he had the door open and the hall had a window with lace curtains that let the moonlight through. Plus, the bathroom light shone from the other end of the hallway. The Harts’ bedspread smelled freshly laundered. Maybe Liz had done it earlier that day and then learned about Aunt Amelia, so she hadn’t had the chance to enjoy it. Instead, Carter would break it in. He was glad he’d showered.
    He was almost asleep when Ethan appeared in the doorway, his silhouette a hulking giant blocking out the little light. Carter forced himself to sit up. “Ethan?”
    “Can I sleep with you?”
    “Um—” If this was a last ditch attempt to ensure Carter wasn’t a babysitter by pushing him into a role he couldn’t return from, Carter wasn’t sure he wanted to be part of it. Sure, they held hands all the time and sat together engaged in absent touches, but even if they didn’t touch, being in the same bed was still something that maybe they shouldn’t do. “Shouldn’t you go back to your own room?” Carter asked.
    Ethan’s shoulders crumpled forward. “I’m sorry. I tried not to come but… but….” Carter leaned forward, trying to hear what reason Ethan refused to say.
    “Mom and Dad let him sleep with them if he has a nightmare.” Elliot appeared next to Ethan. Laying a hand on Ethan’s elbow, he nudged him into the room. Ethan moved, head down and cowed as Elliot revealed his secret
    “Oh,” Carter said. “That’s, that’s fine.” God, what a stupid thing to say! As if he should be giving permission for what Ethan already had a right to do! Carter was the interloper here, not Ethan. He moved to the edge of the bed and pulled the covers back. Ethan climbed in and planted his face in the pillow, refusing to look at him.
    Carter imagined him in his bedroom, torn from sleep by a nightmare and not seeking comfort because he didn’t want Carter to think he was a child. How long had he stayed put before the need for reassurance sent him here?
    “I get nightmares too,” Carter said. Ethan huddled deeper into the pillow. Elliot nudged Ethan until he moved over and crawled in beside him.
    “You should rub his back,” Elliot said. “It helps.”
    Carter could have spent hours, years, analyzing the situational change in Elliot’s behavior, or in his own willingness to take orders from the teenager who thought so little of him. But he rubbed Ethan’s back. It was chilly despite the nightmares, which always made Carter feel hot.
    “Up and down, not in circles,” Ethan said.
    “So you’re awake enough to boss me around?” Carter gave him a light pinch in the soft place on his side near his belly. He smoothed his hand over the spot as Ethan turned to frown at him. “Sorry. Only teasing.”
    “Uh-huh.” Ethan shifted, nudging his back against Carter’s hand, like a cat wanting to be stroked.
    “Okay, up and down, not in circles.” Carter made good on his promise. Ethan sighed, a good sound. Content.
    Elliot leaned in close to touch his forehead to Ethan’s and whispered something to him that made Ethan wrap his arms around his brother. Carter hummed, a lullaby at first, but thinking that Ethan wouldn’t appreciate that, he switched to a song he’d played for him.
     
     
    I N THE morning, they woke in a bundle. Ethan in the middle, Carter’s left leg caught between Ethan’s, and Elliot’s hand wedged beneath Ethan’s stomach. Elliot woke enough to look annoyed before closing his eyes and dropping back to the pillow.
    “I’m starving,” Carter said. He pushed Ethan’s bangs off his eyes. Ethan was beautiful always, but especially like this, half-asleep and peaceful. Ethan blinked up at him, languid and sleepy. His pajama top had ridden up above his stomach. Carter looked away and concentrated on sorting out his own clothes,