heart thumped. “Weeks ago? Wait, I’m not sure.”
“Alyssa and he …” Malik clenched his teeth, and looked away. He might have muttered something, but Sarah couldn’t make out what it was. “Fuck, I’ll just come out and say it. They’re back together and, last I made out, she’s moving back in with him any day now, if she hasn’t already.”
“No.”
Malik chewed the inside of his lip, and she wanted to take his lips in hers and kiss everything away. Sarah was nothing but a body, ready for his, and a mind full of thoughts zeroed in on Malik. That’s what she needed now.
And exactly what she couldn’t have.
“I … ” Malik stood, dusting off his thighs and ass. “I think you need to have some talks with your family. Don’t ask me to be here for you, because I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’ll still have the same number, still feel exactly what I do for you, if not more, but you need to sort out your life. Sarah, I’d be with you in a heartbeat, kiss you, love you, do what you wanted, but I think other things need sorting first.”
She nodded, unable to hold on any longer. The tears welled in her eyes, and the first dribbled down her nose. She didn’t make a sound. Malik had his eyes on his feet, but she sniffled and he looked up, saw all the tears and her trembling, and took her into his arms, safe against his chest.
“Shh,” he cooed. “I don’t hate you. Not one bit. But I do need time myself. I haven’t gotten over what she did. And I … shit, it’s just all crashed at once. Just need to process this, ‘kay?”
Sarah nodded against his chest, staring out at the people passing and everyone who had no clue, just being all happy and busy.
They parted and Malik said, “You can call, if you want.”
Sarah turned before he could see her cry again, and she continued to cry all the way to her train. There were no delays, no beautiful strangers, no magical night that made her feel alive for the first time in years. She spent the train ride staring at her mobile, knowing they both wanted her to call him, but trapped by the truth that she shouldn’t. Not yet, not for a while.
Then she saw Nicholas step onto her carriage. And he saw her.
NICHOLAS
THEN
Sarah wondered how much of her she’d inherited from her father.
She was eighteen in a few weeks; free to drive, vote, and drink. She’d be whoever she wanted to be. She had applied for a few courses at Melbourne universities in English and literature, hoping she’d get in. The written word was her passion, and if she could write or edit, something like that, she’d be happy spending most of her life chained to a desk with that work to do.
But she didn’t know yet what would happen. She had a million hours of study to do for her upcoming final high school exams, along with finishing up the last projects and assignments for each of her classes.
Still a minor, Sarah was housebound on this rainy weekend. It was October, so she should have had some weather-related luck on her side, but the sun didn’t show. The roads were dark and glistening, and for a while, she kneeled on her bed, her hands planted on her window, and she looked outside. Her dad was somewhere out there, with some strange woman. Alyssa was long gone, and so was the next woman after her.
Sarah saw a young woman running. She had skins on, all professional gear: sneakers, wristband, and more. The rain pelted down over her, her hair too dark to distinguish if it’d be anything other than black, from where Sarah was looking in her room.
Sarah fell back on her bed, elbows bent near her head, and thought about how she’d grown from a girl to now, almost an adult. Who would she become? Driven and committed, like that woman? Running every day without excuse, or like her dad?
Her dad had split up with Alyssa just half a year after moving out with her. He messaged Sarah, saying, “I’ll be moving. Will still be right around the corner, kiddo!” and Sarah had thrown her
“Alyssa and he …” Malik clenched his teeth, and looked away. He might have muttered something, but Sarah couldn’t make out what it was. “Fuck, I’ll just come out and say it. They’re back together and, last I made out, she’s moving back in with him any day now, if she hasn’t already.”
“No.”
Malik chewed the inside of his lip, and she wanted to take his lips in hers and kiss everything away. Sarah was nothing but a body, ready for his, and a mind full of thoughts zeroed in on Malik. That’s what she needed now.
And exactly what she couldn’t have.
“I … ” Malik stood, dusting off his thighs and ass. “I think you need to have some talks with your family. Don’t ask me to be here for you, because I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’ll still have the same number, still feel exactly what I do for you, if not more, but you need to sort out your life. Sarah, I’d be with you in a heartbeat, kiss you, love you, do what you wanted, but I think other things need sorting first.”
She nodded, unable to hold on any longer. The tears welled in her eyes, and the first dribbled down her nose. She didn’t make a sound. Malik had his eyes on his feet, but she sniffled and he looked up, saw all the tears and her trembling, and took her into his arms, safe against his chest.
“Shh,” he cooed. “I don’t hate you. Not one bit. But I do need time myself. I haven’t gotten over what she did. And I … shit, it’s just all crashed at once. Just need to process this, ‘kay?”
Sarah nodded against his chest, staring out at the people passing and everyone who had no clue, just being all happy and busy.
They parted and Malik said, “You can call, if you want.”
Sarah turned before he could see her cry again, and she continued to cry all the way to her train. There were no delays, no beautiful strangers, no magical night that made her feel alive for the first time in years. She spent the train ride staring at her mobile, knowing they both wanted her to call him, but trapped by the truth that she shouldn’t. Not yet, not for a while.
Then she saw Nicholas step onto her carriage. And he saw her.
NICHOLAS
THEN
Sarah wondered how much of her she’d inherited from her father.
She was eighteen in a few weeks; free to drive, vote, and drink. She’d be whoever she wanted to be. She had applied for a few courses at Melbourne universities in English and literature, hoping she’d get in. The written word was her passion, and if she could write or edit, something like that, she’d be happy spending most of her life chained to a desk with that work to do.
But she didn’t know yet what would happen. She had a million hours of study to do for her upcoming final high school exams, along with finishing up the last projects and assignments for each of her classes.
Still a minor, Sarah was housebound on this rainy weekend. It was October, so she should have had some weather-related luck on her side, but the sun didn’t show. The roads were dark and glistening, and for a while, she kneeled on her bed, her hands planted on her window, and she looked outside. Her dad was somewhere out there, with some strange woman. Alyssa was long gone, and so was the next woman after her.
Sarah saw a young woman running. She had skins on, all professional gear: sneakers, wristband, and more. The rain pelted down over her, her hair too dark to distinguish if it’d be anything other than black, from where Sarah was looking in her room.
Sarah fell back on her bed, elbows bent near her head, and thought about how she’d grown from a girl to now, almost an adult. Who would she become? Driven and committed, like that woman? Running every day without excuse, or like her dad?
Her dad had split up with Alyssa just half a year after moving out with her. He messaged Sarah, saying, “I’ll be moving. Will still be right around the corner, kiddo!” and Sarah had thrown her
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