he was willing to take it slow and at her pace, that kind of made her feel special. He was deferring to her wishes, and she couldn’t think of another time in her life where a man had ever done that for her before.
She took a deep breath, “Do you—” she halted, and then continued softly, “do you want to stay?”
“Yes.” He instantly answered understanding that she was asking to not be left alone. Relief flash across her face at his reply. While she was nervous to ask him to stay with her, she was even more afraid of being alone after what happened. “I can sleep on the couch, and don’t worry, I’m a light sleeper. I’ll make sure no one hurts you, Allie.”
She clenched his hand in appreciation, and then gave him a soft smile, “You can use the bathroom first if you want. I’ll get the couch made up for you so it’ll be ready when you’re done.” He gave her one last embrace before getting up from the couch and walking into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
As the bathroom door shut, Allie let out the huge breath she had been holding. She had been afraid to ask him to stay. Afraid that he would say no, while at the same time afraid that he would say yes. She really didn’t want to be alone with that man out there, which was the reason asking him had won out. But twenty years now of fundamentalist upbringing was hard to shake loose. Her father would beat her horribly and then lock her in the cellar until she repented over her evilness if he knew she was just alone with a man, let alone actually have one spend the night.
But you know what, screw her father. She wasn’t going to live under his self-righteous, sanctimonious thumb anymore. Damnit (yes, this situation deserved swearing, and it felt good), she was her own person now, and responsible for her own actions. She wasn’t going to get drugged out on meth and whore out her body to every strange man that came along. But she liked Jason, like really, really liked him. With growing up the way she had, the thought of marriage terrified her and deep down, she secretly never wanted to marry. In her group, it almost seemed like marriage was a means to an end, just so they could propagate and increase the size of their followers. And it terrified her. She didn’t want to be trapped in a life with a man she didn’t even like but was told that God would give her a holy love for. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life having his babies, just so he could give away the girls into other loveless marriages, and raise the boys to be pompous jackasses who looked down on women.
But with Jason it was different. Sure, he pissed her off in the beginning, but honestly, that’s probably because she was trying so hard to be independent and because she wanted to do everything on her own without having to rely on and trust other people. But Jason was just the type of man, who you could trust. He didn’t demand it or force it from you, it was just there all along waiting for her to reach out and hold onto it.
Allie walked over to the small closet where she kept the spare linens and pulled out some sheets, a pillowcase, and a warm blanket. She made up the couch quickly and snagged one of the pillows from her bed to swap out the case for him. She lay it down on one end of the couch just as she heard the door open and saw him walk from the bathroom.
“All set,” he said as he walked over to her. He looked over the bed she had made up for him and smiled, “This is great, thanks.”
And then just because she wanted to, she reached up and hugged him again, wrapping her arms around him. He felt so good, and so strong. She could tell the embrace pleased him because he hugged her back even tighter.
“I’m going to take Shuggs out to take care of her business while you’re getting ready for bed. I’ll be right outside the stairwell door, and I’ll keep an eye on everything, ok?”
Allie nodded, “Thank you.”
Jason scooped up the little, energetic
She took a deep breath, “Do you—” she halted, and then continued softly, “do you want to stay?”
“Yes.” He instantly answered understanding that she was asking to not be left alone. Relief flash across her face at his reply. While she was nervous to ask him to stay with her, she was even more afraid of being alone after what happened. “I can sleep on the couch, and don’t worry, I’m a light sleeper. I’ll make sure no one hurts you, Allie.”
She clenched his hand in appreciation, and then gave him a soft smile, “You can use the bathroom first if you want. I’ll get the couch made up for you so it’ll be ready when you’re done.” He gave her one last embrace before getting up from the couch and walking into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
As the bathroom door shut, Allie let out the huge breath she had been holding. She had been afraid to ask him to stay. Afraid that he would say no, while at the same time afraid that he would say yes. She really didn’t want to be alone with that man out there, which was the reason asking him had won out. But twenty years now of fundamentalist upbringing was hard to shake loose. Her father would beat her horribly and then lock her in the cellar until she repented over her evilness if he knew she was just alone with a man, let alone actually have one spend the night.
But you know what, screw her father. She wasn’t going to live under his self-righteous, sanctimonious thumb anymore. Damnit (yes, this situation deserved swearing, and it felt good), she was her own person now, and responsible for her own actions. She wasn’t going to get drugged out on meth and whore out her body to every strange man that came along. But she liked Jason, like really, really liked him. With growing up the way she had, the thought of marriage terrified her and deep down, she secretly never wanted to marry. In her group, it almost seemed like marriage was a means to an end, just so they could propagate and increase the size of their followers. And it terrified her. She didn’t want to be trapped in a life with a man she didn’t even like but was told that God would give her a holy love for. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life having his babies, just so he could give away the girls into other loveless marriages, and raise the boys to be pompous jackasses who looked down on women.
But with Jason it was different. Sure, he pissed her off in the beginning, but honestly, that’s probably because she was trying so hard to be independent and because she wanted to do everything on her own without having to rely on and trust other people. But Jason was just the type of man, who you could trust. He didn’t demand it or force it from you, it was just there all along waiting for her to reach out and hold onto it.
Allie walked over to the small closet where she kept the spare linens and pulled out some sheets, a pillowcase, and a warm blanket. She made up the couch quickly and snagged one of the pillows from her bed to swap out the case for him. She lay it down on one end of the couch just as she heard the door open and saw him walk from the bathroom.
“All set,” he said as he walked over to her. He looked over the bed she had made up for him and smiled, “This is great, thanks.”
And then just because she wanted to, she reached up and hugged him again, wrapping her arms around him. He felt so good, and so strong. She could tell the embrace pleased him because he hugged her back even tighter.
“I’m going to take Shuggs out to take care of her business while you’re getting ready for bed. I’ll be right outside the stairwell door, and I’ll keep an eye on everything, ok?”
Allie nodded, “Thank you.”
Jason scooped up the little, energetic
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