five years out of his parents’ house and in the workforce. He’d faced down lawyers, social workers, judgmental teachers, PTA mothers, and survived potty training, temper tantrums, teething, and that hellish seven-year-old testosterone boost no one had warned him about. He looked Dave over again. He felt a little twitch in the corner of his eye.
“First things first,” he said, working to keep his voice calm and soothing. “Is your girlfriend planning on going through with the pregnancy?”
“She hasn’t decided yet.”
“If the answer is no, then what you are going to do is be there for her. You go to the appointments, hold her hand, tell her it’s okay, because it takes two to tango and you are number two.”
Dave started looking green. “And if she decides to keep it? I think she will. I mean, it seems like she’s leaning that way, but I’m not sure I’m ready to do the whole dad thing yet, you know?”
James didn’t even try to stop himself. He whacked Dave on the side of the head. The sound reverberated through the room. Everyone looked up from their stations. In seventeen years, he’d never laid a hand on Dylan and he never would, but as far as he was concerned, physically knocking a bit of sense into Dave counted as a social good.
“I had my son at fifteen ! You’re what, twenty-five? If a life is coming into this world containing your DNA, then what you do is grow the fuck up! You move out of your parents’ place. You start working at this job so you don’t get fired, because you have offspring to support. You accept the fact that for the next three years, you will not sleep. You will become completely immune to piss, shit, drool, snot, and vomit because infants produce all of those things pretty much nonstop the first two years, and in there is also teething, and if you’re really unlucky, colic, croup, and ear infections. And just when you’re managing to handle all that, they learn to talk and become smart-alecky little shits, and it is your job to love them unconditionally and turn them into good, kind, moral, caring, contributing members of society.”
Dave had gone dead white. The room had gone silent. James became aware of the rest of the staff staring at them.
“What if I can’t do it?” Dave’s voice cracked.
James leaned forward. “Failure is not an option.”
“But—”
“No.” James got up and grabbed a blank notebook and pen from the stationery shelf. He thrust them into Dave’s hands, looming over him the best he could. “Put the date at the top of the first page and write what I say.” Dave scribbled the date and looked up. “On this date, I, Dave Melinick, did accept the fact that I will become a parent. That a life will be brought into this world containing my genetic material, and I will be responsible for it. I understand I will do whatever must be done to secure the health and well-being of my child, no matter the cost to myself, and I will have no regrets.”
Dave looked down at the words and back up to James. His eyes were filled with terror.
“Sign it.”
“What?”
“Sign your name below those words. Use the rest of the notebook to document everything that’s about to happen, but the first thing you do every day is you read those words and look at your signature below them.”
Dave swallowed a few times, then signed his name.
“Can I get some advice as I go along?”
James clenched his teeth and forced his lips into a smile. “It would be my pleasure.”
E XHAUSTION AND Gabe were old, if unwilling, friends. He’d given James a quick call on Sunday, but he was a few days out from a big acquisition trip to Prague, and that meant everything was go.
He had a small army of lawyers, accountants, and sales people backing him up, but he’d had his hand on every major TechPrim deal since day one, and the idea of not being face-to-face with a major client or future partner made his palms itch. He’d been told the CFOs of other
“First things first,” he said, working to keep his voice calm and soothing. “Is your girlfriend planning on going through with the pregnancy?”
“She hasn’t decided yet.”
“If the answer is no, then what you are going to do is be there for her. You go to the appointments, hold her hand, tell her it’s okay, because it takes two to tango and you are number two.”
Dave started looking green. “And if she decides to keep it? I think she will. I mean, it seems like she’s leaning that way, but I’m not sure I’m ready to do the whole dad thing yet, you know?”
James didn’t even try to stop himself. He whacked Dave on the side of the head. The sound reverberated through the room. Everyone looked up from their stations. In seventeen years, he’d never laid a hand on Dylan and he never would, but as far as he was concerned, physically knocking a bit of sense into Dave counted as a social good.
“I had my son at fifteen ! You’re what, twenty-five? If a life is coming into this world containing your DNA, then what you do is grow the fuck up! You move out of your parents’ place. You start working at this job so you don’t get fired, because you have offspring to support. You accept the fact that for the next three years, you will not sleep. You will become completely immune to piss, shit, drool, snot, and vomit because infants produce all of those things pretty much nonstop the first two years, and in there is also teething, and if you’re really unlucky, colic, croup, and ear infections. And just when you’re managing to handle all that, they learn to talk and become smart-alecky little shits, and it is your job to love them unconditionally and turn them into good, kind, moral, caring, contributing members of society.”
Dave had gone dead white. The room had gone silent. James became aware of the rest of the staff staring at them.
“What if I can’t do it?” Dave’s voice cracked.
James leaned forward. “Failure is not an option.”
“But—”
“No.” James got up and grabbed a blank notebook and pen from the stationery shelf. He thrust them into Dave’s hands, looming over him the best he could. “Put the date at the top of the first page and write what I say.” Dave scribbled the date and looked up. “On this date, I, Dave Melinick, did accept the fact that I will become a parent. That a life will be brought into this world containing my genetic material, and I will be responsible for it. I understand I will do whatever must be done to secure the health and well-being of my child, no matter the cost to myself, and I will have no regrets.”
Dave looked down at the words and back up to James. His eyes were filled with terror.
“Sign it.”
“What?”
“Sign your name below those words. Use the rest of the notebook to document everything that’s about to happen, but the first thing you do every day is you read those words and look at your signature below them.”
Dave swallowed a few times, then signed his name.
“Can I get some advice as I go along?”
James clenched his teeth and forced his lips into a smile. “It would be my pleasure.”
E XHAUSTION AND Gabe were old, if unwilling, friends. He’d given James a quick call on Sunday, but he was a few days out from a big acquisition trip to Prague, and that meant everything was go.
He had a small army of lawyers, accountants, and sales people backing him up, but he’d had his hand on every major TechPrim deal since day one, and the idea of not being face-to-face with a major client or future partner made his palms itch. He’d been told the CFOs of other
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