Emily Taylor - The Teenage Mum by Vi Grim

take a lot off punishment.
Tat has a trick of holding
Jesus's spikes in a special way that paralyses him and puts him to
sleep. 'Anodes are incredibly tough and can be evil creatures,' he
says, teaching me the move. 'It might just come in handy
sometime.'
     
    Nelly loves my
slimeball fang. She also wants to get her hands on Enzo. She knows
there's something in my pocket and tries her best to get hold of
it. I usually carry her on my left side so she can't reach; she
struggles and struggles then turns her attention to trying to pull
the fang from my belt. She can get hold of it but hasn't yet
managed to pull it free. I'm not sure I should let my nine month
old baby play with a black hole or a slimeball fang. What would
social services say if she went splut and disappeared
into nothingness or turned into an evil tyrant who ate her own
babies under the powers of the fang? She's driving me nuts though.
In the end I stomp my feet and plonk her down heavily on the
floor.
    'Okay, okay,
okay,' I screech, flicking Enzo’s cage open and giving Nelly the
fang. 'If you want them that
bad, you can have them. Here you go, have the fang, play with the
black hole, but don't you come crying to me if you poke yourself in
the eye or get sucked in!'
    She giggles at
me as she sticks the fang impossibly far into her mouth, then starts prodding Enzo
with it.
'Go on disappear; I've
had enough of you!' I’m so crabby sometimes. I'm such a bad, bad
mum.
    'Enzo,' I
whisper. 'R emember your
gravity.'
He's happy to be out of my
pocket and plays gently with Nelly, moving around slowly to keep
her entertained.
Negrita comes out of nowhere
and pounces, grabbing Enzo out of the air and rolling over on the
floor gripping him with her claws. Nelly giggles and saying, 'Zo,
zo, zo, zo,zo,' struggles to her feet and stands there
wobbling.
'You star Nelly, you stood up,
you clever thing,' I say in my baby voice. 'Come to Mum.'
She wobbles a bit more, falls
back down on her bottom, then crawls off at full speed after
Enzo.
     
Over the next few weeks,
Nel stands more and more, pulling herself up against the bits of
driftwood in the kitchen or using my leg as a handhold. She totters
there for a moment then falls over. Her head is black and blue.
I've used my entire supply of arnica and are trying to get hold of
some more. She's going to get brain damage. If I was a good mum,
I'd get her a crash helmet. She loves me to hold her hands so she
can walk around the house and garden. My patience only goes so far
and I usually end up curled up on my old sofa, hiding my head in
book, hoping she will find someone else to play with.
She will have someone soon,
Number 2 is on the way and my little bump grows by the day.
     
I'm horny as. I want to have
sex. I would love to get Zula up again, but I don't want to push my
luck, something might go wrong. Jesus is not my type. I'd love to
do it with Azziz but it would never last. My instincts say stay
clear. I could go to Zwingly, with all the wild rock stars and
artists but I don't know what I'd do if I saw James. I don't want
to go to his asteroid, not yet. I click my fingers to get the worm
and look for men on Earth. There's lots of them and I'd love to try
some of them out. Some lucky ones have girlfriends who take care of
their needs but most of them have to look after themselves most of
the time. They seem to wank every night. Does the operating manual
say, 'Equipment must be tested daily?' If they all had girlfriends
there would be zillions of babies on Earth.
I'm watching one, fascinated,
when Pollux whispers quietly to me, 'He's like the mad robot.'
'The mad robot?' I ask.
'Yes, the mad robot,' he says.
'He pulled himself to pieces.'
When I've stopped laughing, I
say, 'Pollux, I'm having a private moment. No peeking!'
'Sorry, we slugs see
everything; it's what we do. If it's private, I keep it to myself
and don't broadcast it on the web.'
'I should hope not!'
     
I'm lying in my bed and soon
I've forgotten about slugs and