her mother tended to ignore or deny anything that made her feel uncomfortable. For that reason Alice and Luke’s affair had never been discussed by mother and daughter. ‘Then please tell me who my father is.’
Eva dealt her a furious look of reproach. ‘Why do you keep on dragging this up when you know I’ll refuse to discuss it? That’s my right. I’m protecting my privacy. Believe me, it really doesn’t matter who your father was.’
‘I’m sorry to be so persistent. I don’t want to upset you. But knowing who my father is
does
matter to me. All I want is a name,’ Harriet confessed heavily. ‘It means a lot to me, or I wouldn’t raise a subject that I know you dislike. I would even be grateful if you could bring yourself to the point of giving me some idea of what happened back then, so that I could know something about my own history.’
Eva rolled her blue eyes heavenward. ‘Why do you always spoil things, Harriet?’ she condemned in a huffy tone. ‘I invited you here because I thought I could talk some sense into you and do you a favour. Thanks to Gustav you have the chance of a terrific new job and the opportunity to make a fresh start in Paris.’
‘Yes,’ Harriet sighed, deeply hurt by the assurance that she had ruined their reunion. ‘But unfortunately I don’t want to live in Paris.’
‘I thought it might help you to get over that silly business with Luke.’
‘Silly?’ The use of that particular word shocked Harriet, for it trivialised the betrayal that had almost torn her apart.
Her mother emanated a heavy sigh. ‘Look, I don’t know how to tell you this, and I don’t mind admitting that I resent being landed with the responsibility…but there’s nobody else to do it, so here goes. Alice and Luke are now engaged and have set a date for their wedding.’
The remaining blood slowly drained from below Harriet’s skin. Her tummy heaved. She forced her mouth up into a very slight smile and struggled not to react in any way. But it wouldn’t really have mattered how she reacted, for Eva was very careful not to look directly at her devastated daughter.
‘When…is the wedding?’ Harriet heard herself prompt, although in truth she did not want to know.
‘August. Your sister would like you to be her bridesmaid.’
That suggestion hit Harriet like a cruelly triumphant kick after she had already been floored by a body-blow.
‘You and Alice were close. She misses you. Naturally she doesn’t want friends and relatives to think that there’s still bad feeling between the three of you. You have to deal with this, Harriet.’
‘I have dealt with it, but that does not mean that I’m prepared to walk down the aisle as Alice’s bridesmaid. I think that might be a step too far for all of us.’ As Harriet spoke she felt as though she was encased in ice from head to toe, for she dared not let her emotions react to what she had just learned. Shedid not want pity. She did not want to expose her feelings. But most of all she cringed at the mortifying threat of Eva revealing the extent of those feelings to Alice and Luke, as it was painfully clear where her mother’s sympathies lay.
An hour later, having eaten not a morsel of the beautifully presented lunch that had been served, Harriet kissed Eva’s cool, perfumed cheek and escaped. The older woman’s apparent indifference to her pain had cut her to the quick. Was it inevitable that Alice should be the favoured daughter? Beautiful, confident and charming Alice, who, never having known separation from Eva, enjoyed a much closer bond with her mother. Harriet could not bear to think about Alice and Luke and engagement rings and weddings. Nor was it advisable to dwell on such distressing thoughts when she had promised to spend what remained of the afternoon at her stepfather’s home.
The Carmichael household was busy and noisy, and at first glance always seemed to be bulging at the seams with lively children. It was only six years
Eva dealt her a furious look of reproach. ‘Why do you keep on dragging this up when you know I’ll refuse to discuss it? That’s my right. I’m protecting my privacy. Believe me, it really doesn’t matter who your father was.’
‘I’m sorry to be so persistent. I don’t want to upset you. But knowing who my father is
does
matter to me. All I want is a name,’ Harriet confessed heavily. ‘It means a lot to me, or I wouldn’t raise a subject that I know you dislike. I would even be grateful if you could bring yourself to the point of giving me some idea of what happened back then, so that I could know something about my own history.’
Eva rolled her blue eyes heavenward. ‘Why do you always spoil things, Harriet?’ she condemned in a huffy tone. ‘I invited you here because I thought I could talk some sense into you and do you a favour. Thanks to Gustav you have the chance of a terrific new job and the opportunity to make a fresh start in Paris.’
‘Yes,’ Harriet sighed, deeply hurt by the assurance that she had ruined their reunion. ‘But unfortunately I don’t want to live in Paris.’
‘I thought it might help you to get over that silly business with Luke.’
‘Silly?’ The use of that particular word shocked Harriet, for it trivialised the betrayal that had almost torn her apart.
Her mother emanated a heavy sigh. ‘Look, I don’t know how to tell you this, and I don’t mind admitting that I resent being landed with the responsibility…but there’s nobody else to do it, so here goes. Alice and Luke are now engaged and have set a date for their wedding.’
The remaining blood slowly drained from below Harriet’s skin. Her tummy heaved. She forced her mouth up into a very slight smile and struggled not to react in any way. But it wouldn’t really have mattered how she reacted, for Eva was very careful not to look directly at her devastated daughter.
‘When…is the wedding?’ Harriet heard herself prompt, although in truth she did not want to know.
‘August. Your sister would like you to be her bridesmaid.’
That suggestion hit Harriet like a cruelly triumphant kick after she had already been floored by a body-blow.
‘You and Alice were close. She misses you. Naturally she doesn’t want friends and relatives to think that there’s still bad feeling between the three of you. You have to deal with this, Harriet.’
‘I have dealt with it, but that does not mean that I’m prepared to walk down the aisle as Alice’s bridesmaid. I think that might be a step too far for all of us.’ As Harriet spoke she felt as though she was encased in ice from head to toe, for she dared not let her emotions react to what she had just learned. Shedid not want pity. She did not want to expose her feelings. But most of all she cringed at the mortifying threat of Eva revealing the extent of those feelings to Alice and Luke, as it was painfully clear where her mother’s sympathies lay.
An hour later, having eaten not a morsel of the beautifully presented lunch that had been served, Harriet kissed Eva’s cool, perfumed cheek and escaped. The older woman’s apparent indifference to her pain had cut her to the quick. Was it inevitable that Alice should be the favoured daughter? Beautiful, confident and charming Alice, who, never having known separation from Eva, enjoyed a much closer bond with her mother. Harriet could not bear to think about Alice and Luke and engagement rings and weddings. Nor was it advisable to dwell on such distressing thoughts when she had promised to spend what remained of the afternoon at her stepfather’s home.
The Carmichael household was busy and noisy, and at first glance always seemed to be bulging at the seams with lively children. It was only six years
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