nodded, my stomach hitting the floor. Damn, I didn’t think I’d ever be so disappointed to have someone helping me in my life. But I was. Fuck I was. “I told you I don’t know how to get back to normal.”
“You want me to tell you how?”
I gazed at her slightly swollen lips. “Yes.” I would do anything to be worthy of claiming those lips again, even if it meant months from now after I completed the program, and by God, I would complete this fucking thing if it killed me. If Charlie was an option in my future, I would go through hell to get to her.
“Forgive yourself.”
I sank heavy on the wooden bench to my left, my eyes on the water. “You’ve just asked me to do the one thing I’m physically incapable of.”
She stepped in front of me, forcing me to look up at her. “You think you can’t, and maybe it’s too soon now but you will have to someday if you want to move forward. Until then,” she scratched the stubble along my jaw. “Am I enough?”
I tilted my head. She could read me better than anyone ever had before, stripping me bare until I was nothing but hers for the taking. How could she not see how much she meant to me? She arched an eyebrow at me and then it clicked.
“You mean…” I sucked in a sharp breath. “You forgive me?”
She nodded, slipping an arm around my neck. “Yes, Justin. I forgive you for your past, for what you’ve done.”
It was like the wind knocked out of me, and I leaned my head against her stomach, allowing her to hold me there. I hadn’t thought forgiveness was an option, but Charlie had granted it with a few simple words and reassurance from those eyes of hers. And now that she’d given it to me so freely, I wanted to earn it.
6
Remove defects of character
“ D o you think that your instant response to any kind of conflict is anger because you’re displeased with how people approach you or because you’ve been angry with yourself for much too long?” Thomas asked as he bounced from one foot to the other in the ring.
I slammed my gloved hand against the mat, the flesh beneath my ribs still stinging from the hit he’d just landed. “You’re the doctor,” I hissed through clenched teeth. Mr. Rodgers hadn’t let up a bit over our sessions, and while my body hated him, I respected the hell out of him for it.
“Justin,” he chided as I rose to my feet.
“The last one,” I answered honestly.
Charlie would be proud. She wanted me to open up to people other than her, said it was part of the process of recovery, and I’d do just about anything to be worthy of her when this was all over.
The heat from her lips still lingered on my mouth despite the week it had been since I’d kissed her on the dock. Since then I’d kept my distance, respecting the professional line drawn between us, but damn if I didn’t want to cross it every single second we were together. Even when I was spilling my guts to her, over and over, about instances in my past where I couldn’t recognize the man I’d been then. She’d not only listen, she’d swallow it and match it with a story of her own. We were the same in so many ways—both fighting addictions we’d used to bury our pasts, hide the darker parts of ourselves, both angry at the hand life had dealt us but prepared to take a turn to change it now. She was fairing better at the last part than I was.
“And being here for six weeks?Has the anger settled since there has been so much space since your last drink?”
I could answer him. I wanted to, but I also liked the arrangement we had, so I darted out a right jab, tapping the side of his jaw with just enough force to make his head jerk back. He recovered quickly, dancing with speed I aimed to match, before landing a hit to my left cheek.
The sting of pain made me laugh. “Do you ever find it ironic we’re working on my anger issues inside a boxing ring?”
“I do, but let’s face it, you’re not really the lay on the couch and open up kind of man,
“You want me to tell you how?”
I gazed at her slightly swollen lips. “Yes.” I would do anything to be worthy of claiming those lips again, even if it meant months from now after I completed the program, and by God, I would complete this fucking thing if it killed me. If Charlie was an option in my future, I would go through hell to get to her.
“Forgive yourself.”
I sank heavy on the wooden bench to my left, my eyes on the water. “You’ve just asked me to do the one thing I’m physically incapable of.”
She stepped in front of me, forcing me to look up at her. “You think you can’t, and maybe it’s too soon now but you will have to someday if you want to move forward. Until then,” she scratched the stubble along my jaw. “Am I enough?”
I tilted my head. She could read me better than anyone ever had before, stripping me bare until I was nothing but hers for the taking. How could she not see how much she meant to me? She arched an eyebrow at me and then it clicked.
“You mean…” I sucked in a sharp breath. “You forgive me?”
She nodded, slipping an arm around my neck. “Yes, Justin. I forgive you for your past, for what you’ve done.”
It was like the wind knocked out of me, and I leaned my head against her stomach, allowing her to hold me there. I hadn’t thought forgiveness was an option, but Charlie had granted it with a few simple words and reassurance from those eyes of hers. And now that she’d given it to me so freely, I wanted to earn it.
6
Remove defects of character
“ D o you think that your instant response to any kind of conflict is anger because you’re displeased with how people approach you or because you’ve been angry with yourself for much too long?” Thomas asked as he bounced from one foot to the other in the ring.
I slammed my gloved hand against the mat, the flesh beneath my ribs still stinging from the hit he’d just landed. “You’re the doctor,” I hissed through clenched teeth. Mr. Rodgers hadn’t let up a bit over our sessions, and while my body hated him, I respected the hell out of him for it.
“Justin,” he chided as I rose to my feet.
“The last one,” I answered honestly.
Charlie would be proud. She wanted me to open up to people other than her, said it was part of the process of recovery, and I’d do just about anything to be worthy of her when this was all over.
The heat from her lips still lingered on my mouth despite the week it had been since I’d kissed her on the dock. Since then I’d kept my distance, respecting the professional line drawn between us, but damn if I didn’t want to cross it every single second we were together. Even when I was spilling my guts to her, over and over, about instances in my past where I couldn’t recognize the man I’d been then. She’d not only listen, she’d swallow it and match it with a story of her own. We were the same in so many ways—both fighting addictions we’d used to bury our pasts, hide the darker parts of ourselves, both angry at the hand life had dealt us but prepared to take a turn to change it now. She was fairing better at the last part than I was.
“And being here for six weeks?Has the anger settled since there has been so much space since your last drink?”
I could answer him. I wanted to, but I also liked the arrangement we had, so I darted out a right jab, tapping the side of his jaw with just enough force to make his head jerk back. He recovered quickly, dancing with speed I aimed to match, before landing a hit to my left cheek.
The sting of pain made me laugh. “Do you ever find it ironic we’re working on my anger issues inside a boxing ring?”
“I do, but let’s face it, you’re not really the lay on the couch and open up kind of man,
Similar Books
