Merrick listened and then began speaking just as quietly.
Usually Lou would have switched off, but Jack’s words had woken something within her. So for one of the few times in her life, she really listened. Her face burned and her stomach churned.
“You now have an escort—Sergeant Whitlock,” the general finished. “She will not let you out of her sight.”
After General Merrick left and Sergeant Whitlock took up post by the door, Lou lay back on her pillows deep in thought. I made a mistake and I’m paying the price for it now. If I leave, then other people will pay the price . She finally understood what Jack had told her all those weeks ago. Grief is the price you pay for love . So many things had happened because of the decisions she had made. So many people hurt, so many lives altered because of her. Once more, the cloud descended, but this time, she knew that help was only a shout away.
14
An hour later, Dr. Andrews crossed the infirmary to Lou. “How are you doing?” she asked.
“I could do with a couple of codeine tablets,” Lou said. “Please,” she added.
“I think I can go stronger than codeine. Would you like some dinner?”
“Jack already made me eat lunch.”
“Lunch was hours ago. Wanna try that one again? I have a nice feeding tube with your name on it otherwise. It doesn’t have to be much, just a little.”
Lou sucked in a deep breath. “Chips, if they have them—or fries or whatever you call them. And I’d love a cup of tea. That one earlier was nice.”
Dr. Andrews smiled. “I’ll see what I can do. Let’s sit you up a bit.”
“Thank you.” She leaned against the pillows as the head of the bed raised her upwards.
“I won’t be long.”
Lou watched her go. She glanced down at her legs—well, leg and a half. It was weird. She could still feel it. Half the pain she felt was from the limb that wasn’t there. And her toes still itched. The pain was real enough; just there was no reason for it. She turned her thoughts to what Jack had said. He made a lot of sense for a grown-up, she decided.
Dr. Andrews came back with a tray of food and a syringe. “One mug of tea, along with sausages, peas, and fries.”
“Peas are evil,” Lou told her. “Little green balls of pure nastiness.”
“So don’t eat the peas.” She put the tray on the table and injected the morphine into the cannula. “It should start to work soon,” she said, pulling the table across the bed. “I’ll set the morphine pump up again in a while. Jim’s here to see you if you feel up to it.”
Lou nodded, not minding the fact there was more on the plate than she’d asked for. “Sure. So long as I can eat at the same time.”
Dr. Andrews said, “Don’t see why not.” She left Lou and beckoned Jim over.
Jim came across and sat by the bed. “Those chips smell good,” he said. “Can I have one?”
“Are you here for the chips or me?” Lou asked.
He thought for a minute. “Lou or chips? Lou. Chips. Difficult one. Um...the chips.”
“That’s what I thought. Help yourself. And you can have all the peas.”
Jim took one of the chips and ate it slowly.
“How was the beach?” Lou asked. She stabbed one of the sausages with the fork and bit into it.
Jim smiled. “Your mum is brilliant at beach volleyball. We beat the pants off the other team, thanks to her. How was your day?”
Lou shrugged. “It went. Jim, can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” he replied, taking another chip.
“Am I a particularly bad person? I mean, is God punishing me for running away?”
Jim looked at her curiously. “Because you lost your leg?”
“Amongst other things. Have the other sausage, because I won’t eat it.”
“OK, thanks.” He took the sausage. “And to answer your question, no,” Jim replied emphatically, shaking his head. “God doesn’t work like that. He loves you. He wouldn’t take away your leg to punish you. Any more than my parents being caught in the tsunami or your
Usually Lou would have switched off, but Jack’s words had woken something within her. So for one of the few times in her life, she really listened. Her face burned and her stomach churned.
“You now have an escort—Sergeant Whitlock,” the general finished. “She will not let you out of her sight.”
After General Merrick left and Sergeant Whitlock took up post by the door, Lou lay back on her pillows deep in thought. I made a mistake and I’m paying the price for it now. If I leave, then other people will pay the price . She finally understood what Jack had told her all those weeks ago. Grief is the price you pay for love . So many things had happened because of the decisions she had made. So many people hurt, so many lives altered because of her. Once more, the cloud descended, but this time, she knew that help was only a shout away.
14
An hour later, Dr. Andrews crossed the infirmary to Lou. “How are you doing?” she asked.
“I could do with a couple of codeine tablets,” Lou said. “Please,” she added.
“I think I can go stronger than codeine. Would you like some dinner?”
“Jack already made me eat lunch.”
“Lunch was hours ago. Wanna try that one again? I have a nice feeding tube with your name on it otherwise. It doesn’t have to be much, just a little.”
Lou sucked in a deep breath. “Chips, if they have them—or fries or whatever you call them. And I’d love a cup of tea. That one earlier was nice.”
Dr. Andrews smiled. “I’ll see what I can do. Let’s sit you up a bit.”
“Thank you.” She leaned against the pillows as the head of the bed raised her upwards.
“I won’t be long.”
Lou watched her go. She glanced down at her legs—well, leg and a half. It was weird. She could still feel it. Half the pain she felt was from the limb that wasn’t there. And her toes still itched. The pain was real enough; just there was no reason for it. She turned her thoughts to what Jack had said. He made a lot of sense for a grown-up, she decided.
Dr. Andrews came back with a tray of food and a syringe. “One mug of tea, along with sausages, peas, and fries.”
“Peas are evil,” Lou told her. “Little green balls of pure nastiness.”
“So don’t eat the peas.” She put the tray on the table and injected the morphine into the cannula. “It should start to work soon,” she said, pulling the table across the bed. “I’ll set the morphine pump up again in a while. Jim’s here to see you if you feel up to it.”
Lou nodded, not minding the fact there was more on the plate than she’d asked for. “Sure. So long as I can eat at the same time.”
Dr. Andrews said, “Don’t see why not.” She left Lou and beckoned Jim over.
Jim came across and sat by the bed. “Those chips smell good,” he said. “Can I have one?”
“Are you here for the chips or me?” Lou asked.
He thought for a minute. “Lou or chips? Lou. Chips. Difficult one. Um...the chips.”
“That’s what I thought. Help yourself. And you can have all the peas.”
Jim took one of the chips and ate it slowly.
“How was the beach?” Lou asked. She stabbed one of the sausages with the fork and bit into it.
Jim smiled. “Your mum is brilliant at beach volleyball. We beat the pants off the other team, thanks to her. How was your day?”
Lou shrugged. “It went. Jim, can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” he replied, taking another chip.
“Am I a particularly bad person? I mean, is God punishing me for running away?”
Jim looked at her curiously. “Because you lost your leg?”
“Amongst other things. Have the other sausage, because I won’t eat it.”
“OK, thanks.” He took the sausage. “And to answer your question, no,” Jim replied emphatically, shaking his head. “God doesn’t work like that. He loves you. He wouldn’t take away your leg to punish you. Any more than my parents being caught in the tsunami or your
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