sending that email. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Dylan, that’s the past. It doesn’t matter now.”
“It matters to me.” He took a deep sip of his beer, stared off across the cemetery, and sighed. He shifted next to her and faced her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that night that I was leaving for the military in just a couple of days. I wanted to. I knew you’d be the one person to understand why I needed to do it.”
“Yes, poor Dylan had a full-ride scholarship to play football and attend one of the best colleges in the country. You’d earn your business and finance degree and in a few short years, you’d be your father, working in an office, bored out of your skull. That’s what they wanted. You wanted the freedom to figure out what you wanted to do with your life. With your grades and money, you could do anything, but you chose the military where you’d be part of a team again. Not exactly playing sports, but still, something familiar.”
“How is it you know me that well, yet you believed some email saying I didn’t want you in my life?”
“I didn’t at first. At least, I hoped to change your mind. I hoped what I felt, what I thought you felt wasn’t just an illusion. I didn’t want to be just a distraction for you one minute and forgotten the next.”
“Jess, no. You were my best friend and then so much more. I fell so hard for you. All I wanted to do is take you with me, but—”
“I wish you had, but we were just kids, making stupid mistakes, and here we are living with the consequences. So, you’re sorry. I’m sorry. You’ve moved on and so have I. What does it matter now that all these years have passed?”
“You matter to me, Jess. Tell me what you want me to know.” Dylan took another swallow of beer and prayed she’d open up to him. About to say something to her, he lost the thought. The look of utter despair on her face left his mind blank and his heart shattered.
“Maybe it really is too late. I can’t give you back what you’ve lost. I hated you all these years for leaving me. If I tell you now, it will only hurt you and make you hate me.”
“Jess, I could never hate you. Just tell me. I’ll listen. I’ll understand whatever it is. I promise.”
She stared off into the distance, silent, the weight of whatever burden she carried too much to unload on him. She didn’t trust him with her secret. Why would she? He’d left her when she needed him most.
Maybe if he opened up about himself, she’d open up and share whatever it was that made her so sad.
“I chose to be a police officer because of you.”
That got her attention. She turned her head and her eyes lit with disbelief. “You did?”
“I met this guy in basic training. We sat around one night, swapping stories about why we joined up. He pulled up his shirt and showed me his black-and-blue ribs. He joined the military because he had to get away from his old man. He said the next time he went home, he’d be just as strong, just as tough as his father, and he’d stop him from hurting his younger brother and sister.”
“So you thought, ‘Poor Jessie. Can’t take care of herself.’ You thought you’d come back and put a stop to big bad Buddy Thompson.”
“No. Well, yes, but that was the moment I realized what a colossal idiot I was. I never knew he hurt you. I never saw what was right in front of me.”
That also went for the fact she’d been right in front of him and he’d never realized he loved her. They’d been friends practically their whole lives, and he hadn’t really seen her. She was always there when he needed to talk, when he wanted to have fun, just all the time. He took her friendship for granted.
“Yeah, well, you and everyone else. What does that have to do with you becoming a cop?”
“Everything. I realized you hung out with Brian and me because you hoped we’d protect you. Maybe we did in a way. If you were with us, you weren’t alone with Buddy. It isn’t
“Dylan, that’s the past. It doesn’t matter now.”
“It matters to me.” He took a deep sip of his beer, stared off across the cemetery, and sighed. He shifted next to her and faced her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that night that I was leaving for the military in just a couple of days. I wanted to. I knew you’d be the one person to understand why I needed to do it.”
“Yes, poor Dylan had a full-ride scholarship to play football and attend one of the best colleges in the country. You’d earn your business and finance degree and in a few short years, you’d be your father, working in an office, bored out of your skull. That’s what they wanted. You wanted the freedom to figure out what you wanted to do with your life. With your grades and money, you could do anything, but you chose the military where you’d be part of a team again. Not exactly playing sports, but still, something familiar.”
“How is it you know me that well, yet you believed some email saying I didn’t want you in my life?”
“I didn’t at first. At least, I hoped to change your mind. I hoped what I felt, what I thought you felt wasn’t just an illusion. I didn’t want to be just a distraction for you one minute and forgotten the next.”
“Jess, no. You were my best friend and then so much more. I fell so hard for you. All I wanted to do is take you with me, but—”
“I wish you had, but we were just kids, making stupid mistakes, and here we are living with the consequences. So, you’re sorry. I’m sorry. You’ve moved on and so have I. What does it matter now that all these years have passed?”
“You matter to me, Jess. Tell me what you want me to know.” Dylan took another swallow of beer and prayed she’d open up to him. About to say something to her, he lost the thought. The look of utter despair on her face left his mind blank and his heart shattered.
“Maybe it really is too late. I can’t give you back what you’ve lost. I hated you all these years for leaving me. If I tell you now, it will only hurt you and make you hate me.”
“Jess, I could never hate you. Just tell me. I’ll listen. I’ll understand whatever it is. I promise.”
She stared off into the distance, silent, the weight of whatever burden she carried too much to unload on him. She didn’t trust him with her secret. Why would she? He’d left her when she needed him most.
Maybe if he opened up about himself, she’d open up and share whatever it was that made her so sad.
“I chose to be a police officer because of you.”
That got her attention. She turned her head and her eyes lit with disbelief. “You did?”
“I met this guy in basic training. We sat around one night, swapping stories about why we joined up. He pulled up his shirt and showed me his black-and-blue ribs. He joined the military because he had to get away from his old man. He said the next time he went home, he’d be just as strong, just as tough as his father, and he’d stop him from hurting his younger brother and sister.”
“So you thought, ‘Poor Jessie. Can’t take care of herself.’ You thought you’d come back and put a stop to big bad Buddy Thompson.”
“No. Well, yes, but that was the moment I realized what a colossal idiot I was. I never knew he hurt you. I never saw what was right in front of me.”
That also went for the fact she’d been right in front of him and he’d never realized he loved her. They’d been friends practically their whole lives, and he hadn’t really seen her. She was always there when he needed to talk, when he wanted to have fun, just all the time. He took her friendship for granted.
“Yeah, well, you and everyone else. What does that have to do with you becoming a cop?”
“Everything. I realized you hung out with Brian and me because you hoped we’d protect you. Maybe we did in a way. If you were with us, you weren’t alone with Buddy. It isn’t
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