DUTCH AND GINA: AFTER THE FALL by Mallory Monroe Page B

man. I see a woman of integrity, of courage, of loyalty. When I look at every woman I’ve ever dated before, I see a bed partner, somebody I can fuck un ll she’s sore from my pounding her; somebody who could leave my presence forever and I would barely miss her. But when I look at you, I see a part of me as if it had been taken out of me and placed inside of you. I see a woman I can tell my secrets to. A woman I want to be happy and full of life and somebody I never would want to hurt in a million years. Yet you were the one I hurt without even thinking about the consequences un ll I was already at the point of no return.”
    He moved even closer to LaLa, his hand now squeezing hers, his arm now hugging her across her shoulder. “What I’m trying to say, La, is that I can’t promise you that my ac ons will always mesh with my words. But I can promise you that I’m going to try unlike I ever have in my en re life. Because I know you deserve far be er than who I am, I want to be a be er man to be worthy of you.”
    LaLa choked back tears when he said that. Crader, too, was ba ling his own emo ons, which was remarkable for an unemo onal man like him. But this was different. He felt as if he was fighting for his life.
    “I wish I was stronger,” he con nued, leaning his forehead against her forehead, “and was the kind of man who could agree to your demands. But I’m not that man, Lore a. You want a trial period with me, to see if I’m trustworthy again, and I understand every ounce of your fear that I’ll hurt you again. I get it, I declare I do. But if I give in to some trial period, we’ll declare I do. But if I give in to some trial period, we’ll never make it work. Because you’ve got to decide if I’m worth it now, La, in my weakened state, in my broken state, at a me when I’m not that great guy you think I can be. If you wait un ll I’m great, then my fear is that you’ll be wai ng forever. Even if I pass your trial period, you’ll s ll be wai ng for this perfect knight to shine through, and I’m afraid I’ll forever be a disappointment to you.”
    Tears dropped from LaLa’s eyes as she placed her hand on Crader’s ear and then on his face. She nodded. “Okay,” she said.
    Crader sat erect, his heart beginning to pound.
    “Okay, you want me back now?”
    LaLa nodded. “We’re on again,” she said and he smiled and pulled her into his arms. “I’m giving you a second chance. But,” she added, causing him to pull back and look at her. “You give a pre y speech,” she said to his laughter. “But If you ever hurt me again, Crader McKenzie, despite all of your wonderful talk, it’ll be on all right, but not in the way you think. And there won’t be a third chance.”
    Crader nodded. “Understood,” he said, and then it was his time to place his hand on her face and wipe her tears away.
    They both fell into each other’s arms. And as they held each other, the feelings within them changed from one of renewal to one of passion. Intense, sex-starved, unrequited passion. And they both, seemingly at the exact same me, began kissing with a long, enduring, sensual kiss. The kind of kiss that became almost hysterical in its intensity. And they wanted more. They had to have more. All of these days of looking at each other, feas ng on each other, and not touching each other had culmina ng into a need that was becoming ferocious.
    “Come on,” Crader said, grabbing her by the hand and, just as Dutch had done Gina earlier that same day, all but dragged her into his house, around corridor a er corridor, un ll he had her in his bedroom and the door was locked. Unlike Dutch and Gina, however, they didn’t stop to have a conversa on against the door.
    Crader undressed LaLa, undressed himself, and then wrapped her in his arms in a kiss so passionate that they fell onto the bed, naked and excited, Crader on top of LaLa, unable to slow their unleashed sensuality.
    As Crader moved down LaLa’s body,