things before you fooled around with Liz Sinclair. But your ac ons told me something en rely different. You can’t tell me a thing.” Then she exhaled. “You’ll have to show it to me every day un ll I can see for myself that your words match your actions. And if you don’t want to do that, if I’m asking too much of you, then say so and we can end it now. But I will not se le for less than total respect from you and your total commitment to me and me alone.”
Crader ran his hand through his hair and stood up.
He placed his hands in his pant pockets. “I’m a blunt man, Lore a, always was and always will be, and I’m going to be blunt with you now.” He turned to her.
“No,” he said.
LaLa’s heart dropped. She looked at him. “What are you saying?” she asked him, trying with all she had to keep her emo ons in check. “Are you saying you don’t want to prove yourself to me?”
“I’m saying no, I can’t do what you’re asking. I won’t play a game of you must be perfect or I’ll leave you , I can’t go there, La. Because I’m not perfect, never have been perfect, and it’s probably a safe bet I’ll mess up again.”
He sat down beside her. He could see the sudden fear all over her usually whimsical face. And he was sorry he was causing her so much pain. “Life isn’t a guarantee, Lore a, and love damn sure isn’t. It’s a daily struggle. Even a man like Dutch, whom both of us admire, struggles daily to keep it together. And I’m no Dutch Harber, all right? Don’t want to be, either. So I can’t promise you that I’ll walk in perfec on, I don’t even know, tangibly, what perfection is.” He moved closer to her, placed her hand in his.
“What I can promise you,” he said, “is that I’ll do everything in my power to do right by you. And if a gorgeous woman parades naked in front of me again, gorgeous woman parades naked in front of me again, instead of giving in to tempta on I’ll run and get you so you can beat her up for me.”
It was such an out of nowhere joke that LaLa smiled before she had a chance to check herself. What an unusual man, she thought.
Crader, who was smiling too, turned serious again.
Dead serious. “I promise that I’ll honor you and respect you and do everything in my power to make you as proud of me as I am of you. I’ve never met a woman like you, LaLa. From your ridiculous nickname,” she smiled again, “to your spirit and integrity and sweetness, you’re a new breed for me. My past rela onships have always been safe bets. You know the types: airheaded trophy girls that I could bed whenever I wanted; could take to any social func on I please; could dump at will because they weren’t expec ng much out of me either. I was rich and powerful, that was all they saw.”
“And unbelievably good looking,” LaLa added.
“You see,” Crader quickly said, shaking his head and smiling, “that’s why I love you, La. No other woman in her right mind would give her man props like that, especially when they’re not on the best of terms.”
“It’s the truth,” she said. “You are extremely good looking.” She thought about it. “Maybe that’s part of the problem. Maybe I look at you, and look at myself, and I wonder why you would want me. I mean, I know I’m okay looking, even cute and some days even pretty.
But I’m no great looking trophy woman. Am I?”
“No, you’re not,” Crader said bluntly, causing LaLa to stare at him. “You’re an a rac ve woman, but you’re no beauty queen. That’s not your strength. And my a rac on to you isn’t because you had this outward package that I just couldn’t resist. I like the look of the package now, don’t get me wrong,” he said with a smile, “but you’re so much more than your wrappings.
And that’s the thing, La. When I see you, I see what I aspire to be. I see a strong, independent person who never played the vic m or the damsel in distress or any games to wrangle herself a
Crader ran his hand through his hair and stood up.
He placed his hands in his pant pockets. “I’m a blunt man, Lore a, always was and always will be, and I’m going to be blunt with you now.” He turned to her.
“No,” he said.
LaLa’s heart dropped. She looked at him. “What are you saying?” she asked him, trying with all she had to keep her emo ons in check. “Are you saying you don’t want to prove yourself to me?”
“I’m saying no, I can’t do what you’re asking. I won’t play a game of you must be perfect or I’ll leave you , I can’t go there, La. Because I’m not perfect, never have been perfect, and it’s probably a safe bet I’ll mess up again.”
He sat down beside her. He could see the sudden fear all over her usually whimsical face. And he was sorry he was causing her so much pain. “Life isn’t a guarantee, Lore a, and love damn sure isn’t. It’s a daily struggle. Even a man like Dutch, whom both of us admire, struggles daily to keep it together. And I’m no Dutch Harber, all right? Don’t want to be, either. So I can’t promise you that I’ll walk in perfec on, I don’t even know, tangibly, what perfection is.” He moved closer to her, placed her hand in his.
“What I can promise you,” he said, “is that I’ll do everything in my power to do right by you. And if a gorgeous woman parades naked in front of me again, gorgeous woman parades naked in front of me again, instead of giving in to tempta on I’ll run and get you so you can beat her up for me.”
It was such an out of nowhere joke that LaLa smiled before she had a chance to check herself. What an unusual man, she thought.
Crader, who was smiling too, turned serious again.
Dead serious. “I promise that I’ll honor you and respect you and do everything in my power to make you as proud of me as I am of you. I’ve never met a woman like you, LaLa. From your ridiculous nickname,” she smiled again, “to your spirit and integrity and sweetness, you’re a new breed for me. My past rela onships have always been safe bets. You know the types: airheaded trophy girls that I could bed whenever I wanted; could take to any social func on I please; could dump at will because they weren’t expec ng much out of me either. I was rich and powerful, that was all they saw.”
“And unbelievably good looking,” LaLa added.
“You see,” Crader quickly said, shaking his head and smiling, “that’s why I love you, La. No other woman in her right mind would give her man props like that, especially when they’re not on the best of terms.”
“It’s the truth,” she said. “You are extremely good looking.” She thought about it. “Maybe that’s part of the problem. Maybe I look at you, and look at myself, and I wonder why you would want me. I mean, I know I’m okay looking, even cute and some days even pretty.
But I’m no great looking trophy woman. Am I?”
“No, you’re not,” Crader said bluntly, causing LaLa to stare at him. “You’re an a rac ve woman, but you’re no beauty queen. That’s not your strength. And my a rac on to you isn’t because you had this outward package that I just couldn’t resist. I like the look of the package now, don’t get me wrong,” he said with a smile, “but you’re so much more than your wrappings.
And that’s the thing, La. When I see you, I see what I aspire to be. I see a strong, independent person who never played the vic m or the damsel in distress or any games to wrangle herself a
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