little effort on either of our parts. I quickly erased that image from my head. Pushing up on Kelvin would have gotten me thrown out on my ass.
“ I … uh … haven’t put in any applications yet. I’m just doing research for now.”
“ Damn, man, you’ve been here seven weeks. I ain’t trying to get all up in your business, but you’ve got to do something.” He smoothed down his goatee.
I said, “I know.” As if I wasn’t feeling bad enough about the state of my affairs. Now my homeboy was coming down on me. Somehow having him come down on me was worse than when Felicia used to.
“ Look, hear me out: I know you don’t want to be an accountant. But right now that is your best bet to make enough money to get yourself on your feet. You could take a few weeks to study for the exam, take the test, and be ready just in time for tax season. This way you can make a little money while you make up your mind about what you want to do with the rest of your life. Once you’ve gotten on your feet, you can decide if you want to move out of town to open up your own business again.”
Move out of town? Why didn’t I think of that? I’d been spending so much of my time feeling sorry for myself, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Kelvin was right concerning the money. I wasn’t going to make the money I needed to make any other way. Since my customers usually made purchases over the Internet, it didn’t matter where I set up shop. I could be back in business within several months if I worked it right . “Damn, man, I’ve had my head so far up my ass I didn’t see what was right in front of my face.”
“ Does that mean your going to take the exam?”
“ Yeah, I’ma take it. Last time I checked, McDonalds wasn’t laying out the kind of paper that I need.”
“ That’s my boy.” He held out his fist for some dap, and I gladly gave it to him.
For the first time since I’d lost Felicia and the kennel, I felt like someone had taken the shackles off my feet and given me a reason to live. Because I was feeling energized, I grabbed my keys off the table and headed to the door.
“ Yo, where you going?” The tone of his voice had changed.
“ My books are in storage. I want to get them before it gets dark so I can start studying.”
“ How ’bout I go with you and we stop and get something to eat before coming back here?” He gathered the mail knowing I wouldn’t object.
“ Sounds like a plan.” I waited while he changed out of the suit he had worn to the office into some blue jeans. The ironic thing about this whole conversation was that Felicia used to say the same thing to me, but I would get mad at her. The reality was that I had a good woman and had fucked it up.
Not many women would allow a man to “find himself” while she busted her ass trying to take care of the bills. I had a good woman, but I threw her away. Luckily, Kelvin came out of his room before I could have sunk too deeply into depression. I’d been holding on to depression like a long-lost friend, and it was time I take control of my life again.
“ You ready?” I said, holding on to the doorknob.
“ Let me grab my keys.” He did a final inspection of the apartment and activated the alarm.
* * *
“ Man, I’m glad you didn’t trip on me when I called you out,” he said from the passenger’s seat of my car.
“ Why should I trip? You were spitting the truth.”
“ I know, but I didn’t know how you would react. If I had known you would respond like this, nigga, I would have set your ass straight weeks ago.”
I laughed with him but my heart wasn’t really in it. I thought I was handling my misery well, but obviously the only person I was fooling was myself.
We drove the rest of the way to the storage lot in silence. I had a lot on my mind, and Kelvin seemed to respect that. Finding my text books was easier than I had thought it would be. I should have known better because Felicia actually packed my shit.
“ I … uh … haven’t put in any applications yet. I’m just doing research for now.”
“ Damn, man, you’ve been here seven weeks. I ain’t trying to get all up in your business, but you’ve got to do something.” He smoothed down his goatee.
I said, “I know.” As if I wasn’t feeling bad enough about the state of my affairs. Now my homeboy was coming down on me. Somehow having him come down on me was worse than when Felicia used to.
“ Look, hear me out: I know you don’t want to be an accountant. But right now that is your best bet to make enough money to get yourself on your feet. You could take a few weeks to study for the exam, take the test, and be ready just in time for tax season. This way you can make a little money while you make up your mind about what you want to do with the rest of your life. Once you’ve gotten on your feet, you can decide if you want to move out of town to open up your own business again.”
Move out of town? Why didn’t I think of that? I’d been spending so much of my time feeling sorry for myself, I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Kelvin was right concerning the money. I wasn’t going to make the money I needed to make any other way. Since my customers usually made purchases over the Internet, it didn’t matter where I set up shop. I could be back in business within several months if I worked it right . “Damn, man, I’ve had my head so far up my ass I didn’t see what was right in front of my face.”
“ Does that mean your going to take the exam?”
“ Yeah, I’ma take it. Last time I checked, McDonalds wasn’t laying out the kind of paper that I need.”
“ That’s my boy.” He held out his fist for some dap, and I gladly gave it to him.
For the first time since I’d lost Felicia and the kennel, I felt like someone had taken the shackles off my feet and given me a reason to live. Because I was feeling energized, I grabbed my keys off the table and headed to the door.
“ Yo, where you going?” The tone of his voice had changed.
“ My books are in storage. I want to get them before it gets dark so I can start studying.”
“ How ’bout I go with you and we stop and get something to eat before coming back here?” He gathered the mail knowing I wouldn’t object.
“ Sounds like a plan.” I waited while he changed out of the suit he had worn to the office into some blue jeans. The ironic thing about this whole conversation was that Felicia used to say the same thing to me, but I would get mad at her. The reality was that I had a good woman and had fucked it up.
Not many women would allow a man to “find himself” while she busted her ass trying to take care of the bills. I had a good woman, but I threw her away. Luckily, Kelvin came out of his room before I could have sunk too deeply into depression. I’d been holding on to depression like a long-lost friend, and it was time I take control of my life again.
“ You ready?” I said, holding on to the doorknob.
“ Let me grab my keys.” He did a final inspection of the apartment and activated the alarm.
* * *
“ Man, I’m glad you didn’t trip on me when I called you out,” he said from the passenger’s seat of my car.
“ Why should I trip? You were spitting the truth.”
“ I know, but I didn’t know how you would react. If I had known you would respond like this, nigga, I would have set your ass straight weeks ago.”
I laughed with him but my heart wasn’t really in it. I thought I was handling my misery well, but obviously the only person I was fooling was myself.
We drove the rest of the way to the storage lot in silence. I had a lot on my mind, and Kelvin seemed to respect that. Finding my text books was easier than I had thought it would be. I should have known better because Felicia actually packed my shit.
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