Drop Dead Gorgeous by Jennifer Skully

his voice and smelled his frosting first, and when she looked up, he was a hairbreadth from her face. She looked at him cross-eyed.
    â€œDo you want me to help clean up?” Miraculously, the panty hose dangled from his fingers.
    She grabbed and stuffed them beneath a cushion, then fanned herself with her hand. “Gosh, the place hasn’t cooled down.”
    With a dash, she opened the front window, then pulled the filmy curtain closed. A soft breeze blew the lace in and out. Once again, T. Larry was right there when she turned around.
    She backed away, her buns pressed to the windowsill. She wasn’t nervous. She didn’t know what she was. Besides overheated. Or embarrassed.
    Embarrassed? Nothing she’d ever said or done around T. Larry embarrassed her before. So what was this feeling?
    She had a plan for T. Larry. All she had to do was stick to it and the strange tingling would go away. What was the plan? Come on, Madison. Oh yeah, a wife. What about BeeBee Barton, her best friend in the whole world? Of course, BeeBee. She was wonderful. Madison bit her lip. Not BeeBee. She didn’t analyze that uncomfortable prickle that couldn’t possibly be jealousy.
    Who then? “I know the perfect woman for you. I’ve been thinking about it all the way home.”
    â€œAnd?” His voice was suspiciously low, deceptively calm.
    â€œBarbie Doll.”
    Deadpan, he answered, “She’s made of plastic.”
    â€œNot that Barbie Doll. This one is a friend of mine. Who was unfortunate enough to be born to parents with the last name of Doll. And they thought it would be such fun to name her Barbie. But she’s completely done with therapy now, and she doesn’t hold an ounce of anger toward them, and she’d be perfect for you.”
    He was a step closer, though she hadn’t seen him move. “You’re babbling.”
    â€œNo, I’m not. I’m explaining quickly so you don’t have time to shoot down my idea.”
    â€œIt was shot down before it even went up. I’m not dating someone named Barbie Doll.”
    â€œYou can’t hold her name against her. It wasn’t her choice.”
    â€œDoes she look like a Barbie Doll?”
    â€œWhich one? The new version or the sixties version?”
    He closed in, giving her heart palpitations. “Aren’t they all impossibly large breasted, thin waisted, and perfect hipped?” he said, his gaze traveling to each of the mentioned parts of her body.
    Her voice squeaked on the first syllable. “Yes.”
    â€œNot interested.”
    â€œYou answered too fast.”
    He put a hand to his chin, pursed his lips and tilted his head this way, then that. “After careful consideration, I’ve decided I’m not interested.”
    â€œBut T. Larry—”
    â€œShh.”
    â€œYou should give her—”
    He put a finger to her lips “—I said—” and raised a brow “—shh.”
    No finger was going to stop her saying something this important. “But—”
    He clamped his hand over her mouth, pinned her there with his other hand on the nape of her neck. “Don’t you ever be quiet?”
    Not if she could help it. And then she became aware of the fact that somehow, in the process of shutting her up, he’d managed to plaster his body the length of hers, front to front, chest to breasts, thighs to thighs, and everything in between. Everything.
    Oh my God.
    She opened her mouth and licked his palm. Salty. Sort of delicious actually.
    He jumped back, let go of her imprisoned lips and cradled his hand as if she’d thrown acid on it.
    â€œWhat did you do that for?”
    â€œSo you’d let me finish what I was saying.”
    â€œNot on your life.”
    She put a hand to her mouth. “Did you smudge my lipstick?”
    â€œYou lost it with the potato salad.”
    He’d been watching? “Why didn’t you tell me?