Drawing with Light by Julia Green

went up to the hospital after work. To visit the homeless bloke.’
    â€˜Bob.’
    â€˜Him. Yes. But they wouldn’t let her see him. He has some infection or something. He’s pretty sick. They’ve put him in a room by himself. So Cassy and I had a long chat about the dog, and we decided we really can’t keep her, Em. I’m sorry . . .’
    â€˜And?’
    â€˜So we dropped her off at the dogs’ home. On the way over here, tonight. I know you’ll be disappointed. But it’s the best thing, in the circumstances.’
    How dare he say that?
    I hate you , I want to shout. You tell me here, in a crowded cafe, so I can’t make a fuss. Coward.
    Dad waits for me to say something. But I won’t.
    â€˜I’m sorry, Em, but please don’t go upsetting Cassy even more.’
    It’s a horrible betrayal. I’m furious with them both. And the fact that Cassy was being all nice when she came over to the stall, when in reality she’d just got rid of Mattie . . . it’s unbearable.
    â€˜We can visit her,’ Cassy says in the car on the way home. ‘Take her for walks whenever we want. I’ve registered us, so we can just turn up there and take her out.’
    I don’t say a word all the way back. I don’t speak to them at the caravan either. I go to bed without saying goodnight.
    I send Seb a text.
    Dad is so mean. Has put Mattie in the dogs’ home. I am so sad. Didn’t even say goodbye to her.
    I wait, but he doesn’t reply.
    I cry into the pillow.
    I hate everyone. Living here is shit.

12
    Kat got back from university tonight.
    She came via London, with Dan, and then caught another train here, and Dad picked her up from the station. We had supper together late, all together, even though I am still not talking to Cassy and Dad.
    Now Kat and me are in bed. Talking in the dark, like the old days.
    It’s just as well we’re used to sharing a room. You can hear every sniff and sigh and creak as one or other of us turns over in the bunk beds or reaches out for a drink of water.
    â€˜The thing is,’ Kat says, ‘Dan’s bound to see her. She’s back from her university, and they live, like, only minutes away from each other. They’ll be getting together with old school friends. There will be parties.’
    â€˜That doesn’t mean that they’ll get back together again,’ I say. ‘They might see each other, but so what? They split up for a reason. Now he’s going out with you. So I don’t see why you’re so worried.’
    â€˜You don’t understand,’ Kat says. ‘He might just be tempted. You know, after a few drinks, feeling all happy and Christmassy . . . just sort of slip back into it . . . seeing as I’m not around. Out of sight, out of mind.’
    â€˜If he really likes you, he’s not going to treat you like that, is he? And if he does, if he’s that fickle and unfaithful, he’s not worth it. You’d be better off without him.’
    Kat sighs dramatically. ‘It’s not that simple, Em.’
    â€˜Isn’t it? Why not?’
    â€˜If you don’t know, how can I explain? You can’t just turn feelings on and off, because of how someone else behaves! He’s probably with her right this minute. It’s too awful!’
    â€˜That’s a rubbish way to think, Kat!’
    â€˜You don’t have a clue, do you? You’re too young, I guess.’
    â€˜Oh, for heaven’s sake!’ I turn over, in a huff.
    We’re both silent for ages. I kind of know she’s lying on her back, staring up into the darkness, wide awake. I can feel how awake she is! And even though I’m pretending to be fed up and asleep, she knows I’m not really. That’s how close we are, my sister and me.
    â€˜Do you love him?’ I ask her, eventually.
    â€˜I don’t know,’ she says miserably. ‘I don’t know how