Double Feature: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies (The Russel Middlebrook Series Book 3) by Brent Hartinger
Authors: Brent Hartinger
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as usual.
"You know how my family always goes to Echo Lake for vacation?"
I nodded. This was a little lake with cabins about a hundred miles from where we lived.
"Well," he went on, "a couple of years ago, I was up there, and I decided to go for a walk in the woods by myself. Stupid, I know, but I was fourteen, so what can you do? Anyway, the trail was really faint, but I kept walking all afternoon. Finally, I decided to turn around, but almost immediately I came to this fork in the trail. I didn't remember any fork in the trail, so I started to panic. Which was the way home? I didn't know. The two paths looked exactly the same."
"So what did you do?" I said.
"Well, I knew that buried somewhere in my head was the right answer. And if it wasn't, maybe there was some force outside myself—God or the spirit of the forest or whatever—who could give me the answer. So I cleared my head and stared at the two trails. I stood there for the longest time. And finally I knew. I went down the trail on the right."
"And you'd picked the right one."
"Nah," Gunnar said, "I picked wrong. I ended up in this nettles patch, and that was the time I got those ticks, and then later I got sick, and I was sure I had Lyme disease."
"Gunnar!" I cried. "What kind of story is that! You picked the wrong trail?"
"Did I?" Gunnar said. "I'm standing here, aren't I?"
I stared at him. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, obviously I made it back to the cabins. I lived, right?"
"Yeah, but you walked through nettles and ticks, and you thought you had Lyme disease! If you'd gone the other way, none of that would have happened."
"Oh, yeah, the other path would have been a much better choice. But at least I picked one. Because if I hadn't, I'd still be standing up in those woods."
Finally, I saw what he was getting at. Sometimes there's a choice you don't think about—the choice of whether or not to decide. At this point, one way or another, I finally had to decide between Otto and Kevin.
I had to admit it once and for all: Gunnar gave damn good advice.
* * *
Kevin or Otto. Why couldn't I decide? Well, because it was a hard decision, that's why! Give me a break.
But I had to decide. Gunnar was right about that.
I loved Otto. He was right for me. That was obvious whenever I spent time with him. And he was such a thoroughly decent guy, the kind of guy who always did the right thing, which was no small matter when it came to boyfriends. But the big "but" was that he lived eight hundred miles away. When you thought about it, that made him not much of a boyfriend at all. He was more like a character in a book—someone you "love," but can't cuddle up to.
Meanwhile, Kevin was real. Maybe the only reason I wasn't choosing him was because I didn't want to feel guilty about Otto. But guilt was no reason to stay together with a guy. On the other hand, Kevin was flawed. He was charming and handsome, which are not the worst boyfriend-qualities in the world, but he wasn't strong. I'd trusted him once before, and he'd really jerked me around. Sure, he'd come out to the whole school, but when push came to shove, he usually didn't do the right thing.
I knew what I needed to do. I had to talk with Declan McDonnell. Yes, I wanted just to bask in his presence again. But I also wanted to ask him what to do. He'd already proven to be pretty wise, my own bathroom angel. He alone would have the answer I sought. (And maybe he could also tell me what the hell a "brain zombie" was!)
I went back to the restroom where we'd met those two times before. This time I was certain that he would be there.
He wasn't. I was all alone.
"Great," I said out loud. "Just great." It echoed off the cold tile. Well, at least I could try again later in the day.
I turned to go, but as I did, I caught a glimpse of something along the wall.
A zombie watched me gloomily.
It wasn't Declan McDonnell or one of the other zombie extras. It was me, in full zombie makeup, reflected in
"You know how my family always goes to Echo Lake for vacation?"
I nodded. This was a little lake with cabins about a hundred miles from where we lived.
"Well," he went on, "a couple of years ago, I was up there, and I decided to go for a walk in the woods by myself. Stupid, I know, but I was fourteen, so what can you do? Anyway, the trail was really faint, but I kept walking all afternoon. Finally, I decided to turn around, but almost immediately I came to this fork in the trail. I didn't remember any fork in the trail, so I started to panic. Which was the way home? I didn't know. The two paths looked exactly the same."
"So what did you do?" I said.
"Well, I knew that buried somewhere in my head was the right answer. And if it wasn't, maybe there was some force outside myself—God or the spirit of the forest or whatever—who could give me the answer. So I cleared my head and stared at the two trails. I stood there for the longest time. And finally I knew. I went down the trail on the right."
"And you'd picked the right one."
"Nah," Gunnar said, "I picked wrong. I ended up in this nettles patch, and that was the time I got those ticks, and then later I got sick, and I was sure I had Lyme disease."
"Gunnar!" I cried. "What kind of story is that! You picked the wrong trail?"
"Did I?" Gunnar said. "I'm standing here, aren't I?"
I stared at him. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, obviously I made it back to the cabins. I lived, right?"
"Yeah, but you walked through nettles and ticks, and you thought you had Lyme disease! If you'd gone the other way, none of that would have happened."
"Oh, yeah, the other path would have been a much better choice. But at least I picked one. Because if I hadn't, I'd still be standing up in those woods."
Finally, I saw what he was getting at. Sometimes there's a choice you don't think about—the choice of whether or not to decide. At this point, one way or another, I finally had to decide between Otto and Kevin.
I had to admit it once and for all: Gunnar gave damn good advice.
* * *
Kevin or Otto. Why couldn't I decide? Well, because it was a hard decision, that's why! Give me a break.
But I had to decide. Gunnar was right about that.
I loved Otto. He was right for me. That was obvious whenever I spent time with him. And he was such a thoroughly decent guy, the kind of guy who always did the right thing, which was no small matter when it came to boyfriends. But the big "but" was that he lived eight hundred miles away. When you thought about it, that made him not much of a boyfriend at all. He was more like a character in a book—someone you "love," but can't cuddle up to.
Meanwhile, Kevin was real. Maybe the only reason I wasn't choosing him was because I didn't want to feel guilty about Otto. But guilt was no reason to stay together with a guy. On the other hand, Kevin was flawed. He was charming and handsome, which are not the worst boyfriend-qualities in the world, but he wasn't strong. I'd trusted him once before, and he'd really jerked me around. Sure, he'd come out to the whole school, but when push came to shove, he usually didn't do the right thing.
I knew what I needed to do. I had to talk with Declan McDonnell. Yes, I wanted just to bask in his presence again. But I also wanted to ask him what to do. He'd already proven to be pretty wise, my own bathroom angel. He alone would have the answer I sought. (And maybe he could also tell me what the hell a "brain zombie" was!)
I went back to the restroom where we'd met those two times before. This time I was certain that he would be there.
He wasn't. I was all alone.
"Great," I said out loud. "Just great." It echoed off the cold tile. Well, at least I could try again later in the day.
I turned to go, but as I did, I caught a glimpse of something along the wall.
A zombie watched me gloomily.
It wasn't Declan McDonnell or one of the other zombie extras. It was me, in full zombie makeup, reflected in
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