Doctor Who: The Myth Makers by Donald Cotton

earthly good would that do?’
    ‘Think, my dear Odysseus: a whole fleet of them could carry a company of your men over the walls, and into Troy!’
    ‘Oh could they now? And how would we get them into the air?’
    ‘Catapults!’ said the Doctor, producing his fatuous master-stroke. ‘Ping!’ he illustrated.
    ‘I beg your pardon?’
    ‘Catapults. I thought you’d have heard of them.’
    ‘No, I can’t say I have. Catapults, d’you say? Sounds like a rather vulgar barbarian oath to me. Yes, I must try it out on Agamemnon – Catapults to you, my lord! And very many of them! Yes...’
    The Doctor grew impatient: ‘Nonsense, Odysseus! A catapult is... well, look here, you could easily make one out of strips of ox-hide. I’ve made a drawing of one. First, you twist the strips together – so. Then you fasten the two ends securely.
    Next, you take up the slack in the middle, and you stretch it like a bow string.’
    ‘Go on – what do I do then. Use it as a hammock?’
     
    ‘Nothing of the sort! You pour water over it, and leave it to dry in the sun. Now, tell me Odysseus; what happens then, eh?’
    ‘It begins to smell, I should think.’
    ‘Never mind that, for the moment. It also shrinks, doesn’t it?
    Thereby producing the most colossal tension between the two points here. So, now you place your flying-machine at the point of maximum strain... C.’
    ‘Like an arrow in a bow?’
    ‘Precisely! And then, you let go!’
    ‘Always as well to remember to do that!’
    ‘And Eureka! It flies up into the air, with a soldier clinging to its back – and it glides, following a curvilinear trajectory, over the wall, and into the very heart of Troy! Nothing could be simpler!’
    A passing seagull made a harsh comment, as Odysseus considered the matter ‘I see...’ he said at length; ‘Well, for your information, Doctor, here’s one soldier who’s doing nothing of the sort!’
    The Doctor looked caring and compassionate: he had every sympathy with human frailty, and said so. ‘Well, perhaps Agamemnon, then – if you’re afraid?’
    ‘Now that might be quite an idea!’ mused Odysseus, cheering up somewhat. ‘But no – he wouldn’t go along with it...’
    ‘Whyever not? It would be a privilege.’
    ‘I know – but he wouldn’t see it that way. Fellows a fool! No
    – we’ll have to think of someone else.’
    ‘Well, anyone would do: a child could operate it!’ ‘Really?
    Or an old man?’
    ‘Oh yes, of course he could. Old Nestor would do admirably.’
    ‘I wasn’t thinking of Nestor!’
    ‘You weren’t?’
     
    ‘No. Tell me, Doctor – how would you feel about being the first man to fly?’
    The Doctor’s brain raced in ever-diminishing circles. I could tell. by his ears which went puce.
    ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I should be extremely honoured, of course.’
    ‘I hoped you might be. You deserve it, after all the hard work you’ve put in.’
    ‘Yes. But, dear me – there’s a problem.’
    ‘Good thing you thought of it in time. What is it?’
    ‘The machine won’t work!’
    ‘Are you sure?’
    ‘Positive. Yes, look here – I seem to have made a mistake in my calculations. The weight-volume ratio’s all wrong, do you see? Silly of me!’
    ‘Very.’
    ‘No, we’ll just have to face it, I’m afraid: man was never meant to fly!’
    ‘Oh, I don’t know about that. I mean, if your machine won’t work, you’ll just have to fly without it, won’t you?’
    ‘What... what do you mean?’
    ‘Well, surely the catapult will work all right. I think that’s a very good idea of yours – and it seems such a pity to waste it, that I propose to fire you over the walls of Troy. Then you can help them for a change. That’ll teach ‘em!’
    ‘But I should be killed!’
    ‘You must do as you think best. But since you have failed me, you are now expendable.’
    ‘Wait! I haven’t failed you yet!’
    ‘You mean, there’s more ?’
    ‘Oh, a very great deal! Yes, I’ve just had a