gesture.
“You don’t like it?” he asks. “I thought you’d love it.”
“No, that’s not it.” my voice shakes. “Don’t you see? This is a waste on someone like me.”
“What? How can you say that?”
“I’ve told you before … a writer needs to write what they know. They write from the life they’ve lived. I’m not interesting, and nobody is going to want to read anything I write,” I explain, wishing I could make him understand. I work in the publishing industry. I see books all the time that are written by talented people, but their story isn’t interesting enough. I don’t want to be one of those people.”
Holden grips my wrists and pulls me into him. The strength with which he does this, sends my heart racing. “Stop!” he demands. “You won’t be. I wouldn’t have given you this if I thought anything different.”
“What—”
“Damn it ,Belle, just stop it! I think you’re very interesting. Do you think so little of me? Do you think that I would care for someone as much as I care for you who isn’t absolutely amazing? Who isn’t beautiful or brilliant or exciting?” He must feel my legs buckling and drags me to the bed.
He pushes the empty box to the floor with his foot, and sets the white case on the nearby desk. We collapse onto the bed, my eyes never looking away from him. I feel them growing wet, and I think my heart might burst, but I can’t look away.
“Oh, Holden.” A single tear rolls down my cheek. I go to wipe it away, but he doesn’t let me. Instead he presses his lips against the wet trail on my face. I shiver as I push all the air from my lungs.
“Are you all right?” he asks, pulling away.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. You scare me.” The words are honest, but they make him laugh a little.
“Why do I scare you?” he asks, pulling away just a little more.
“When I’m with you, you make me dream.”
“And that’s bad?”
“If my dreams are too big, then yes.”
“They’re not, Belle. I know you have something amazing inside you, if you’d just let the rest of the world see what I do,” he says.
I know asking the question will make me weak, but I can’t stop myself. The words leave my mouth before I realize what I’m doing, “And what do you see?”
He moves forward, his lips so close to me all I can think about is kissing them, tasting the sweet pleasure I know they contain. “I see a woman who is beautiful, and funny, and smart, and a woman who can do anything.”
“Please, don’t say things like that,” I plead.
“Don’t say the truth?”
“I’m not just scared about what you do to me, I’m scared for you.”
He laughs again, and I begin to wonder if he’s taking me seriously. “And what do I have to be afraid of?”
“I’m afraid you want something from me I can’t give. I can’t fall in love with someone right now, do you understand that?”
“I’m not asking for anything from you. I know where you’re at, and I take full responsibility for what happens to me as a result.”
“I can’t do that to you,” I protest.
“It’s not your choice. I make my own decisions, and I’ll care about whoever I want. If you want to run from this, Belle, you go right ahead, but I’ll be here when you figure out I’m not going to hurt you.”
With those words I feel a surge run through my body, and I want nothing more than to feel him over every inch of me. I straddle him with my legs, lifting up onto my knees, my head hovering just slightly above his. I wait until his neck is strained, he’s pressing against me, trying to reach my mouth, but I make sure I stay just out of reach. Frustrating him enough so that when I finally crash into him, it will be an explosion of desire.
“God, I want you so bad,” he moans.
“I know,” I say with a smile then bite my lip. He reaches up and pulls down on my shoulders, pressing his lips against mine, and the kiss is just as I had expected. A firm expression of his
“You don’t like it?” he asks. “I thought you’d love it.”
“No, that’s not it.” my voice shakes. “Don’t you see? This is a waste on someone like me.”
“What? How can you say that?”
“I’ve told you before … a writer needs to write what they know. They write from the life they’ve lived. I’m not interesting, and nobody is going to want to read anything I write,” I explain, wishing I could make him understand. I work in the publishing industry. I see books all the time that are written by talented people, but their story isn’t interesting enough. I don’t want to be one of those people.”
Holden grips my wrists and pulls me into him. The strength with which he does this, sends my heart racing. “Stop!” he demands. “You won’t be. I wouldn’t have given you this if I thought anything different.”
“What—”
“Damn it ,Belle, just stop it! I think you’re very interesting. Do you think so little of me? Do you think that I would care for someone as much as I care for you who isn’t absolutely amazing? Who isn’t beautiful or brilliant or exciting?” He must feel my legs buckling and drags me to the bed.
He pushes the empty box to the floor with his foot, and sets the white case on the nearby desk. We collapse onto the bed, my eyes never looking away from him. I feel them growing wet, and I think my heart might burst, but I can’t look away.
“Oh, Holden.” A single tear rolls down my cheek. I go to wipe it away, but he doesn’t let me. Instead he presses his lips against the wet trail on my face. I shiver as I push all the air from my lungs.
“Are you all right?” he asks, pulling away.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. You scare me.” The words are honest, but they make him laugh a little.
“Why do I scare you?” he asks, pulling away just a little more.
“When I’m with you, you make me dream.”
“And that’s bad?”
“If my dreams are too big, then yes.”
“They’re not, Belle. I know you have something amazing inside you, if you’d just let the rest of the world see what I do,” he says.
I know asking the question will make me weak, but I can’t stop myself. The words leave my mouth before I realize what I’m doing, “And what do you see?”
He moves forward, his lips so close to me all I can think about is kissing them, tasting the sweet pleasure I know they contain. “I see a woman who is beautiful, and funny, and smart, and a woman who can do anything.”
“Please, don’t say things like that,” I plead.
“Don’t say the truth?”
“I’m not just scared about what you do to me, I’m scared for you.”
He laughs again, and I begin to wonder if he’s taking me seriously. “And what do I have to be afraid of?”
“I’m afraid you want something from me I can’t give. I can’t fall in love with someone right now, do you understand that?”
“I’m not asking for anything from you. I know where you’re at, and I take full responsibility for what happens to me as a result.”
“I can’t do that to you,” I protest.
“It’s not your choice. I make my own decisions, and I’ll care about whoever I want. If you want to run from this, Belle, you go right ahead, but I’ll be here when you figure out I’m not going to hurt you.”
With those words I feel a surge run through my body, and I want nothing more than to feel him over every inch of me. I straddle him with my legs, lifting up onto my knees, my head hovering just slightly above his. I wait until his neck is strained, he’s pressing against me, trying to reach my mouth, but I make sure I stay just out of reach. Frustrating him enough so that when I finally crash into him, it will be an explosion of desire.
“God, I want you so bad,” he moans.
“I know,” I say with a smile then bite my lip. He reaches up and pulls down on my shoulders, pressing his lips against mine, and the kiss is just as I had expected. A firm expression of his
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