Diving In (Open Door Love Story) by Stacey Wallace Benefiel
Authors: Stacey Wallace Benefiel
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three of us or he’s not going to believe it. Gabe thinks the best of people, but you and Izzy know the real me, the worst part of me.”
I cross my arms over my chest, defiant. “No. I don’t want to tell him. Ever. It’s selfish of us to want to put our burden on him. If you really care about him, think about … his mom said he’s doing so much better now and any setback would just … we can’t. We’ve lived with it this long. I mean, if Izzy wants to press charges against you and needs my testimony about what explicitly happened between you two, I can help, but otherwise, count me out. He means too much to me and I’m not going to let anyone hurt him.”
“You don’t think he’d be glad to know it was you that saved his life?” Travis asks, his voice soft.
“I don’t care if he knows it was me and not you!” I says, as loud as I dare. “I want to be responsible for his happiness now, not what I did back then.”
Travis stares at me hard and runs his hand through his hair. “I get that,” he says through gritted teeth, “but I don’t think I can keep the secret anymore. It’s tearing me up inside.”
I shrug. “Then find yourself a $300 an hour psychiatrist and tell him. Learn to be uncomfortable for once. That’s how everyone else goes through life.”
Gabe rolls into the lobby, clapping his hands together. “Okay, where we gonna eat? And, Travis, if you dare say something foul like between my mom’s legs I swear to God I’ll have my girlfriend kick you in the nuts.”
Chapter Twelve
Thankfully, Travis goes back to school on Saturday morning, so I only have to endure one last dinner with the guy, pretending to like him for Gabe’s sake. The problem is, he’s not the worst human ever – he’s trying to make amends in the way he thinks is best and I can’t hate him for that. I simply don’t agree with him. At. All.
Saturday night Gabe and I go to the movies like regular people on a regular date, except we have to sit in the first row aisle and people are real jackholes about not noticing us sitting there. They stand around chatting about where they’re going to sit or look for their friends. Meanwhile, the opening credits begin and we’re stuck staring at a bunch of indecisive asses and muffin tops.
We go to the rooftop after and make out in the cold. I bring a jacket this time, so we are warm until we are hot.
Sunday, Gabe’s mom makes him stay home to rest up before work on Monday. He listens because I think he is tired. Jokes are made via text about me being too much woman for him. I fear maybe it’s true. Things between us have moved fast and are intense.
I’m feeling, not quite overwhelmed or unsure, but definitely like I haven’t given things any sort of thorough consideration. I want him and I found a way to be with him. It is more initiative than I usually take with anything. Most of the time, I lay the groundwork and then wait to see what will happen. Gabe is different. I hadn’t planned anything. I hadn’t evaluated the best way to snag him for a boyfriend – he just became my boyfriend. Even breaking up with Andy hadn’t been that troublesome.
It is funny to think about Andy now, a few days later. He’d been a little jealous of my feelings for Gabe, which made me feel like maybe I’d tried more with Andy than I’d given myself credit for. I know, without a doubt, that I can count on Andy if I ever need him to help me out as a friend. Not everyone gets to have that kind of relationship in their life. Liam and Ari certainly don’t. She’d done the opposite of protect what they’d had together.
Being Andy’s girlfriend has been a good training ground and can only help me with Gabe. My feelings for Gabe are all over the place and crazy and not the stable, constant feelings I’d had for Andy, but that is also good. I’m diving in, as Gabe says, and I’m bound to be a bit afraid of the water coming at me so quickly.
Monday morning
I cross my arms over my chest, defiant. “No. I don’t want to tell him. Ever. It’s selfish of us to want to put our burden on him. If you really care about him, think about … his mom said he’s doing so much better now and any setback would just … we can’t. We’ve lived with it this long. I mean, if Izzy wants to press charges against you and needs my testimony about what explicitly happened between you two, I can help, but otherwise, count me out. He means too much to me and I’m not going to let anyone hurt him.”
“You don’t think he’d be glad to know it was you that saved his life?” Travis asks, his voice soft.
“I don’t care if he knows it was me and not you!” I says, as loud as I dare. “I want to be responsible for his happiness now, not what I did back then.”
Travis stares at me hard and runs his hand through his hair. “I get that,” he says through gritted teeth, “but I don’t think I can keep the secret anymore. It’s tearing me up inside.”
I shrug. “Then find yourself a $300 an hour psychiatrist and tell him. Learn to be uncomfortable for once. That’s how everyone else goes through life.”
Gabe rolls into the lobby, clapping his hands together. “Okay, where we gonna eat? And, Travis, if you dare say something foul like between my mom’s legs I swear to God I’ll have my girlfriend kick you in the nuts.”
Chapter Twelve
Thankfully, Travis goes back to school on Saturday morning, so I only have to endure one last dinner with the guy, pretending to like him for Gabe’s sake. The problem is, he’s not the worst human ever – he’s trying to make amends in the way he thinks is best and I can’t hate him for that. I simply don’t agree with him. At. All.
Saturday night Gabe and I go to the movies like regular people on a regular date, except we have to sit in the first row aisle and people are real jackholes about not noticing us sitting there. They stand around chatting about where they’re going to sit or look for their friends. Meanwhile, the opening credits begin and we’re stuck staring at a bunch of indecisive asses and muffin tops.
We go to the rooftop after and make out in the cold. I bring a jacket this time, so we are warm until we are hot.
Sunday, Gabe’s mom makes him stay home to rest up before work on Monday. He listens because I think he is tired. Jokes are made via text about me being too much woman for him. I fear maybe it’s true. Things between us have moved fast and are intense.
I’m feeling, not quite overwhelmed or unsure, but definitely like I haven’t given things any sort of thorough consideration. I want him and I found a way to be with him. It is more initiative than I usually take with anything. Most of the time, I lay the groundwork and then wait to see what will happen. Gabe is different. I hadn’t planned anything. I hadn’t evaluated the best way to snag him for a boyfriend – he just became my boyfriend. Even breaking up with Andy hadn’t been that troublesome.
It is funny to think about Andy now, a few days later. He’d been a little jealous of my feelings for Gabe, which made me feel like maybe I’d tried more with Andy than I’d given myself credit for. I know, without a doubt, that I can count on Andy if I ever need him to help me out as a friend. Not everyone gets to have that kind of relationship in their life. Liam and Ari certainly don’t. She’d done the opposite of protect what they’d had together.
Being Andy’s girlfriend has been a good training ground and can only help me with Gabe. My feelings for Gabe are all over the place and crazy and not the stable, constant feelings I’d had for Andy, but that is also good. I’m diving in, as Gabe says, and I’m bound to be a bit afraid of the water coming at me so quickly.
Monday morning
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