Disposition of Remains by Laura T. Emery

instances, outsiders (non-Natives, especially) could transfer their bad energy to the tribe simply by touch.
    I had never been much of a dancer, but it proved easy to follow along. I kept looking around, searching faces, expecting to see another apparition of my mother, but the only other Native woman I recognized was Irma. She was dancing on the other side of the circle, continuing to examine me from afar. Something about her was so alluringly mysterious and intriguing, but also seriously intimidating.
    I felt an energy in Havasupai, much more than I’d experienced in Sedona. It was almost like a connection to everything around me. But there was a lso something a bit unsettling there—a daunting air of unsolved mystery. I kept thinking of what my mother had told me: that there was evil in our past, and I should never look back. But I was in Havasupai to live in the present and I certainly couldn’t focus on the future.
    As we continued to dance, I turned my concentration to Wilbur. He looked incredibly handsome in the light of the full moon and the roaring bonfire nearby. Wilbur and I continued to hold hands after The Friendship Dance was over. We shared our own “friendship dance” as we laughed and spun all the way back to Havasu Falls. The moonlight was shining down on the blue-green pools of water beneath the cascading waterfalls. I felt completely removed from the life I had been living just days before. I even temporarily forgot about my disturbing hallucination.
    I sat close to Wilbur atop a small rock formation, so close that my leg grazed against his. He didn’t pull away. I had momentarily blocked from my mind all of the reasons that I shouldn’t be with Wilbur. Suddenly, I found myself uninhibited, drunk with dance and Native spirit. My overloaded senses had reached a crescendo and I couldn’t help but turn and face him. I leaned in and gazed deeply into his lashy eyes.
    “Is this another joke?” he asked nervously.
    “No,” I murmured, donning the most seductive look I could muster.
    “I’d really like to kiss you right now, but you’re still wearing that ring,” Wilbur responded.
    I had almost forgotten about my wedding ring. With some difficulty, I tugged it off and held it in my palm for a long moment. That ring had defined my life for the last seventeen years. I looked back at Wilbur and smiled, then tossed the ring over my shoulder into the blue-green water below.
    I leaned toward Wilbur again, so close that our noses touched. We were softly breathing the same air. Our lips barely grazed each other’s at first. I felt dizzy with anticipation as he gently stroked my face. When his warm, supple lips finally made contact with mine, it unleashed a pent-up fury of passion.
    I had no idea how intense it could be to be passionately kissed by a man. My only previous experiences had been with a boy and a monster. Evan hadn’t even attempted to kiss me in years and sex had become a chore. Kissing Wilbur was worth whatever amount of guilt and difficulty that would inevitably result.
    Wilbur cradled my face in his hands, and I ran my fingers through his hair. I had been dying to fondle those dark, wavy locks since the moment I first saw him. We continued to kiss for what seemed like hours and only moments at the same time. Finally, Wilbur stopped and looked at me intently.
    “Stacia, I really like you.”
    “I like you too,” I gushed, eager to return to our prior activity. I pulled him back toward me.
    “Wait, Stacia, I just…I really think you should see about getting some treatment.”
    “It was just a dream. I’m really not crazy.”
    “No, no, I mean for your cancer,” Wilbur revealed.
    My heart sank. He had known all along. What had seemed to be the greatest night of my life was nothing more than an illusion based on my assumption that he genuinely wanted to be with me—not that he was trying to rescue me.
    “Misty told you,” I grimaced, horrified.
    “No, Misty told Paul. Paul told