were clearly distressed to witness things falling out so badly. I felt them wondering what I wondered; why had we returned to Mesh at all if we could not even keep my own countrymen from killing each other?
'Stop!' I called out to Lord Noldashan and Sar Vikan. 'Let go of your swords! We are all one people here!'
My voice fell upon them with the force of a battering ram, stunning them into motionlessness. But it did not, I sensed, touch their hearts.
Lord Avijan finally let go of Lord Noldashan, and he said to me, 'Lord Noldashan has cause for grieving and grievance, and few men more. And he raises an important question. Lord Elahad: is it your purpose to go against Morjin or to protect Mesh?'
'But they are the same thing!' I called out. 'Mesh will never be safe so long as Morjin draws breath!'
I looked around the hall at the tens of warriors weighing my words. The older ones such as Lord Noldashan and Lord Harsha, had grown to manhood in an era when the Sarni and the other Valari kingdoms posed the greatest threat to Mesh. They held a more cautious sentiment, shared by such prominent warriors as Lord Tanu: that Mesh had repelled Morjin once, and could again if we had to. They believed that the Dragon, as with bears, would be likely to leave us alone if we left him alone. Although they would fight like angels of battle, to use Lord Sharad's words. If Morjin did try to invade our land again, they had no liking to march out of Mesh to make war against him. Others, such as Lord Avijan, desired vengeance for Morjin's desecration of Mesh and believed that he must somehow be defeated, though they, too, feared to seek him out and bring him to battle. A smaller number of men - and these were mostly younger knights such as Joshu Kadar, Sar Shivalad and their friends - burned with the fever of our generation to annihilate Morjin from the face of the earth and make the world anew.
'Morjin,' I finally said to Lord Avijan, and to everyone, 'must be destroyed. How that is to be remains unclear. But until he is destroyed, we will never bring peace to the world.'
'You,' Lord Noldashan said to me, 'if we follow you, will bring only death.'
I could tell from the grave faces of such prominent warriors as Lord Kanshar and Sar Juladar, even Lord Harsha. that many of the men gathered in the hall feared that Lord Noldashan had spoken truly - as I feared it even more. But I must, I thought, at all costs hide my disquiet. The gazes of a hundred warriors burned into me, and I thought that I must gaze right back at them, bravely and boldly, and betray not the slightest doubt or hesitation. Every moment that I stood among them, in field, forest or a great lord's castle, with my every word or gesture, I must surround myself as with a gleaming shield of invincibility. How, I wondered, was this possible? How had my father ever managed to last a single day as king?
Lord Noldashan stared straight at me, and continued his indictment: 'You would bring death, I think. Lord Elahad. Even as you brought it to Tria - and so destroyed all hope of an alliance of the Valari. And without an alliance, how could you ever hope to destroy the Red Dragon?'
In Tria, I thought we had been so close to uniting. The Valari kings had nearly had the very stars within their grasp. But in the end, I had failed them.
'How many of our warriors fell at the Great Battle?' Lord Noldashan went on. 'How many of our women and children died at the Red Dragon's command?'
From somewhere in the hall I caught a sense of the great darkness that pulled me always down. Again, I saw my mother and grandmother nailed to planks of wood. And again, I saw a great grassland covered with tens of thousands of broken and bleeding bodies.
'How many. Lord Elahad?' Lord Noldashan asked me. 'How many of our people must die for your impossible dream?'
I tried to speak then, but I could not, and so I took a sip of beer to moisten my bone-dry throat. Then I looked at Sar Jonavar standing in close to his
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