Desh by Kim Kellas

told father about the forced marriage unit and as she threw the duvet back and faced him, the words came out so easily and logically it took her by surprise.
    He floundered. “The Border Agency? Get out of my face – you wouldn’t know how. What sort of daughter does that? Your mother should be hearing this; it’d kill her.”
    Something snapped at the mention of her mother and Aila let fly. Words rushed out in a torrent; she scarcely knew what she said. Then everything went black and, when she came to, her father was backed against the wall. She had no idea how much time had passed or what had happened, except Mazid stood ashen-faced outside her room and said, “You’ve really gone too far this time.”
    No-one would tell her what she’d said, except that she’d screamed so much the entire estate probably heard every word, but Aila was spent and beyond caring. She staggered back to bed and let her mind shut down.
    Black wings hovered. Nessa was speaking, trying to tell her something, but she couldn’t make sense of it and it wasn’t her mother as she knew her, but as a younger self, as she would have been before she was married, dressed in black.
    Aila had to stay still and for some reason she had to stand where a fire had been and the fire wasn’t out. Smoke rose from the middle, where the sticks and branches had been crossed and embers glowed angry red and burnt the soles of her feet as she stood rooted to the spot, listening.
    When she was younger, her mother would say, ‘Dreams are a blessing; not everyone has the gift. You must learn which to take and which to leave and remember, the most truthful dreams come just before dawn, when the devils are quiet.’
    By first light, Aila understood and knew what she had to do.
    Her father had taken money for a visa that now had to be delivered and the only way he could do that was to appeal, which meant Aila would have to stand in a court and testify against him and she couldn’t do that. Neither could she stay married yet not married any longer, caught in the shadows between Mia and Shuna, Britain and Bangladesh. She had to go back to Syhlet.
    She told her father she was going back to try and make her marriage work. “I’ll give it everything I’ve got and if it works, I’ll bring my husband back with me, but if it doesn’t, we call it a day and get divorced. At least then, you and Mum will know I gave it my best shot.”
    Sadhan stood silent while Mazid shouted, “You can’t make a decision like that in a flash; you need to think this through.”
    â€œNo, I actually don’t. If I dwell on this I won’t get on the plane and it needs to be done and dealt with once and for all.”
    Sadhan went off to see what sort of deal he’d get from his contacts, while Mazid continued to argue and Nessa stayed in the background. When he came back with a flight to Dhaka that left in three days, Aila agreed and focussed on what had to done.
    Rather than drive to work and risk having her resolve battered down by Neil, she called him instead and outlined the plan. As she expected, he didn’t understand at all. To his way of thinking, the visa had been declined so she could just get on with her life. She had a job, she had friends; she should just move out. Why did she need to go back that shithole?
    â€œThis can’t be left hanging anymore. My family couldn’t live with that and my father won’t let it go, especially now my brother’s wife’s got her visa. So if I’m not prepared to testify against my father then I’m married but not married and there’s no way a single woman can live on her own without bringing shame on the family. Neil, if I moved out, that’d be the end of it. They’d disown me, cut me off and it’d break my mother’s heart and I couldn’t live with that. Please try to understand. I have to face this and resolve