Defensive by J.D. Rivera Page A

anger spike while my heart broke for her. I walked slowly into her room after my shower and watched her sleep. She looked peaceful except that her eyebrows were furrowed. She was probably dreaming about the miscarriage or her jerk boyfriend yelling at her afterwards. I felt like a complete asshole.
    I leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I love you,” I whispered.
    I went back to the couch and laid down, feeling heartbroken. I let the reality of what had happened sink in. She had gone through her second miscarriage; she was hurting and grieving while I played a stupid game.

Vanessa
    I woke up the next morning with a huge headache and rolled over, staring at the ceiling. I could smell eggs and bacon. What the hell? I pushed the blanket off myself and stood up. Everything from the night before crashed in on me. Shane giving me back my grandmother’s ring, the miscarriage, and the fight with Jackson.
    He must’ve stayed the night, though, because he was up and cooking me breakfast. I sat down again, trying to collect my thoughts. Last night, I’d decided that I had to end our relationship. I might not ever be able to carry a child to term, which meant that, if he stayed with me, we may never share a child. Eventually, he would want to make it work as a family with Cynthia and his child. He may not think that now but he would. Eventually. I knew that the longer our relationship went on, the harder it would be for me when he broke things off and ran to them. His family.
    I took a deep breath and steeled myself for the fight I was about to have with Jackson.
    As I walked down the short hallway, I could see him standing over the stove, watching the bacon cook, lost in his thoughts. He was only wearing his boxers and his chest looked even more amazing than I remembered. I’m sure it was because it was the last time I would get to see it up close.
    I cleared my throat as I strolled up to the kitchen counter. “Why are you still here, cooking breakfast?” I asked.
    He turned to face me. “I’m here because I didn’t want to leave you alone with everything that happened last night. I figured you might be hungry, so I made you something to eat.”
    I really wanted to walk to him and have him wrap his arms around me. I couldn’t so I took another deep breath. “You should go.”
    “No. You lost our baby. We should talk about that.” Of course he would think it was all my fault. Like I had a choice or like I’d done something to cause the miscarriage. My face must’ve paled. “No, Vanessa not like that. I know it wasn’t your fault. I just meant that you’re the one who went through it. It happened to your body and I wasn’t even there.”
    “You need to leave. We have nothing to discuss. We’re done,” I said, backing away from him. I hoped he would just take it at that. I didn’t want to explain all of the reasons he was better off without me.
    “Will you please quit being so defensive and just listen to me?” he pleaded, while turning the burner off.
    “I’m not being defensive. You just don’t want to listen. We are done.”
    “Done with this conversation or done as in our relationship?” he asked.
    “Done as in our relationship.” I said in my bitchiest tone.
    He stepped in front of me. So close that our chests were touching. “You don’t mean that. You’re hurting right now and lashing out.”
    I guess he isn’t hurting? “No. I’m not lashing out. I’m thinking really clearly right now. We. Are. Done. Now leave.” I bit out before walking to the door and opening it.
    “Fine. You know how to reach me when you change your mind. I’ll be waiting,” he said before he slipped on his clothes and walked out the door, then down the steps. I closed the door, resting my head back on it. I sank down as the sobs took over. I cried harder than I had in my entire life. I cried for the loss of another child and for the loss of Jackson. I believed in my heart he was my soul mate, but when you