the prick the media thinks I am.”
“Not always,” she mused. Her smile disappeared as she turned pensive. “But I’ve seen you do some pretty fucked-up things.”
“You have.” She hadn’t seen the worst of it, but she’d seen enough.
“Please tell me?” she pleaded quietly. Her bottom lip even stuck out in a cute little pout.
I frowned. “I don’t—”
“I have a right to know,” she argued when I didn’t respond appropriately enough for her.
“How exactly do you figure?”
“Well, apparently, I was the star attraction. I think that allows me certain privileges.”
I debated again, before going with a half-truth. “It was about our high school formal.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “The formal? Or what happened after?”
Shit. What did she hear ? I stared at her in silence.
“You know, Josh thought you’d raped me.” Her statement was a quiet, almost-whispered confession.
I choked on the air as the statement left her lips. Pushing myself forward in my seat, I coughed as I struggled to comprehend what she’d said. The action caused a redoubling of the pain in my chest, and I coughed harder. “What?” I managed to utter between convulsions.
“What else would you expect him to think? I turned up at home, early, alone, in tears, my feet sore from walking from the bus stop, my dress in tatters, and calling you an arsehole. He put two and two together and came up with rape. You have to believe me that I didn’t know about what he planned, or what he did to you, though. Not until after I found out why you weren’t in school that last week.” The sorrow in her eyes confirmed her words. She had no reason to make any of that up, not now after so long. It would gain her nothing.
“Well, at least that explains his reaction,” I murmured when I got my breathing back under control. I’d always thought he was delivering a message from Alyssa—to tell me to back off because I didn’t want to follow her rules. I’d simply assumed he’d gone a bit over the top with the delivery as punishment for breaking his sister’s heart again. I’d never suspected that he thought I’d hurt her. The truth was, he’d probably gone easy on me. If I’d thought someone had raped Alyssa, there would be no almost about the hospital stay part. In fact, they’d be lucky if they didn’t find themselves in a morgue.
“He copped a bit of a serve from me once I found out,” she said with a sad smile on her lips.
“I really am sorry.” I buried my head in my hands as I considered what I was about to say—and how dangerous the words might be. “I mean about the freak-out I had that morning. I just, I don’t know. I felt trapped, I guess. It felt like we were barrelling along at a million miles an hour. I could already see myself as a grandfather sitting on a porch wondering what the hell happened to my life and when my chance to go racing would come.”
She nodded, but her brow bent into a frown. “I know. I get it. I felt like that too sometimes. We were pretty . . . intense.” She chuckled darkly after the last word.
We lapsed into silence, both deep in thought about what could have been. It made me remember the fucker at Queensland Raceway. I wanted to ask her about it, but didn’t want to admit that I had seen her there or the impact—literally—she’d had on my life since.
“So is there anyone in your life now?” I asked, almost silently. I wasn’t sure whether or not I wanted to hear the answer. Before she had the chance, an announcement was made that we’d be landing soon and instructed the cabin crew to prepare.
After a moment, Alyssa said, “Not really.”
It took me a moment to realise it was a response to my question. “What does ‘not really’ mean?”
“It means . . . I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” Even though I was desperate to know, I didn’t want to press her and end our civility.
“I’d ask you the same question,” she said,
“Not always,” she mused. Her smile disappeared as she turned pensive. “But I’ve seen you do some pretty fucked-up things.”
“You have.” She hadn’t seen the worst of it, but she’d seen enough.
“Please tell me?” she pleaded quietly. Her bottom lip even stuck out in a cute little pout.
I frowned. “I don’t—”
“I have a right to know,” she argued when I didn’t respond appropriately enough for her.
“How exactly do you figure?”
“Well, apparently, I was the star attraction. I think that allows me certain privileges.”
I debated again, before going with a half-truth. “It was about our high school formal.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “The formal? Or what happened after?”
Shit. What did she hear ? I stared at her in silence.
“You know, Josh thought you’d raped me.” Her statement was a quiet, almost-whispered confession.
I choked on the air as the statement left her lips. Pushing myself forward in my seat, I coughed as I struggled to comprehend what she’d said. The action caused a redoubling of the pain in my chest, and I coughed harder. “What?” I managed to utter between convulsions.
“What else would you expect him to think? I turned up at home, early, alone, in tears, my feet sore from walking from the bus stop, my dress in tatters, and calling you an arsehole. He put two and two together and came up with rape. You have to believe me that I didn’t know about what he planned, or what he did to you, though. Not until after I found out why you weren’t in school that last week.” The sorrow in her eyes confirmed her words. She had no reason to make any of that up, not now after so long. It would gain her nothing.
“Well, at least that explains his reaction,” I murmured when I got my breathing back under control. I’d always thought he was delivering a message from Alyssa—to tell me to back off because I didn’t want to follow her rules. I’d simply assumed he’d gone a bit over the top with the delivery as punishment for breaking his sister’s heart again. I’d never suspected that he thought I’d hurt her. The truth was, he’d probably gone easy on me. If I’d thought someone had raped Alyssa, there would be no almost about the hospital stay part. In fact, they’d be lucky if they didn’t find themselves in a morgue.
“He copped a bit of a serve from me once I found out,” she said with a sad smile on her lips.
“I really am sorry.” I buried my head in my hands as I considered what I was about to say—and how dangerous the words might be. “I mean about the freak-out I had that morning. I just, I don’t know. I felt trapped, I guess. It felt like we were barrelling along at a million miles an hour. I could already see myself as a grandfather sitting on a porch wondering what the hell happened to my life and when my chance to go racing would come.”
She nodded, but her brow bent into a frown. “I know. I get it. I felt like that too sometimes. We were pretty . . . intense.” She chuckled darkly after the last word.
We lapsed into silence, both deep in thought about what could have been. It made me remember the fucker at Queensland Raceway. I wanted to ask her about it, but didn’t want to admit that I had seen her there or the impact—literally—she’d had on my life since.
“So is there anyone in your life now?” I asked, almost silently. I wasn’t sure whether or not I wanted to hear the answer. Before she had the chance, an announcement was made that we’d be landing soon and instructed the cabin crew to prepare.
After a moment, Alyssa said, “Not really.”
It took me a moment to realise it was a response to my question. “What does ‘not really’ mean?”
“It means . . . I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” Even though I was desperate to know, I didn’t want to press her and end our civility.
“I’d ask you the same question,” she said,
Similar Books
