Death to the Imperium (Imperium Cicernus) by James McGovern

officially part of the Navy. “What is your
name?”
    “What’s
it got to do with you?” the Stolnite said, showing its teeth. It placed a defensive
paw on the metal object beneath it. “If it’s about this engine, this was thrown
out as scrap. I found it fair and square. If it’s stolen, it’s nothing to do
with me.”
    Alyce
sighed impatiently. “No, we’re not here about the engine.” She paused,
wondering which line to take. She decided that there was only one language that
Stolnites truly listened to, and pulled out a credit bar. The Stolnite’s eyes
lit up. “This credit bar contains twenty thousand credits. In addition to this
we also have a Beetle cruiser to barter with. We need to purchase a ship.”
    After
seeing the shiny credit bar, the Stolnite’s manner changed completely. It
hopped off the engine as if forgetting it completely, and bowed before the four
of them like a particularly eager waiter. “Janzley at your service. I am your
most faithful servant. Now… what kind of ship are you looking for?”
    “We
need the most ugly ship that you can find. It should be a big pile of old
scrap, the kind of ship no one would ever want. But it has to be in perfect
working order.”
    The
three men stared at Alyce in disbelief. Had the woman lost it? Twenty thousand
credits was enough to buy a decent galactic craft from a reputable dealer. Why
were they using the money to buy a heap of junk from a sneaky-looking Stolnite?
The Stolnite seemed a little surprised by her request, but he wasn’t going to
argue when such a huge reward was on offer.
    “I
have just the thing,” Janzley said. “Come with me.”
    The
Stolnite led them across the surface of the planet. The sky overhead was pale,
and the colour almost blended in with the shade of the ground. The grey
monotony was broken only by the scrap littered all over the world. Many
Stolnites turned to stare at them as they passed; Glitz guessed that they
didn’t get many human visitors to such a dreary world. Finally, they reached a
small bay. The ocean beyond was almost motionless, and the water was cloaked by
white mist. The beach was made of grey and black stones. The whole place had a
somewhat dreamlike quality. They reached what looked like a small cave in the
cliff face. Janzley beckoned them inside.
    “These
are my humble lodgings,” the Stolnite said, as they entered the cave. It was
illuminated by phosphorescent plants growing up the cave walls. The place was
filled with scrap; the concentration of junk metal was even higher than on the
planet’s surface. Glitz noticed that a small bed was wedged in between a huge
metal chest and a defunct android. Janzley pointed to a corner of the cave.
“Now what do you think of that ?”
    “It’s
perfect,” Alyce said, grinning.
    “Are
you joking?” Doland said, raising an eyebrow.
    Whatever
the thing was, Doland would not describe it as perfect. It was clearly a ship
of some kind, but the model was obviously years out-of-date. He had never seen
such a craft. It had a somewhat unwieldy, bulky appearance, and had many
obvious signs of repair. The paintwork had scratched off in many places,
revealing bare metal. A piece of dull metal had been hammered in place beneath
the main starshield, presumably to cover up damage. Some words starting with
“SOLD” were scribbled in white paint over the side.
    “And
it’s in full working order?” Alyce said.
    “Of
course,” the Stolnite said. “You have my word.”
    They
all knew that the word of a Stolnite didn’t count for anything.
    “I
can scan it,” Tekka said. He activated his neurochip, and performed a thorough
digital deconstruction of the ship, looking out for any breaches of the hull or
machines in a state of disrepair. When the scan was completed, he nodded. “The
ship looks terrible, but it is actually in quite good order. None of the major
systems have any problems. It is certainly spaceworthy.”
    “You
see,” Janzley said. “I told you.