back.
That was the last thing I remembered. I woke up,
alone, in the hospital.
Ryan
“Grace, I need to talk to you about something.”
We were still wrapped up in each other, both satisfied from
our attempt to find heat in the otherwise freezing basement of the Cupids clubhouse.
She made a slight noise, letting me know she was listening although she was
fading. It was late, and I was sure she was exhausted, but I knew what
the morning would bring. I didn’t want to sleep when I knew I might only
have a few more hours left with the love of my life.
“I know you’re tired, but you’re going to have to hear me
out. Grace, I need to keep you safe; I need to keep our baby safe.
But in order to do that, I’m going to need to go away for awhile.”
The words sounded so silly. I felt like someone in one
of those old movies who was trying to explain to a child that a mission they were
about to embark on may not bring them home alive. I guess that was
exactly what I was saying though. Sean had promised that if I helped him
build his own army, he would leave Grace alone. I believed that much, I
really did. I wasn’t living outside of reality though. Once Sean
had no use for me, I was sure as dead. Then he’d surely turn his sights
back on Grace.
I then went on to explain the terms of Sean’s offer.
There was no use hiding anything from her; she deserved the truth. She
deserved to know why she would be raising our child alone.
“He’s right though. There is no other option. I
don’t want to be running from him for the rest of our lives. I want you
to have the life you dreamed you could. I just can’t be in it.”
It stung to say the last line out loud. I hated
thinking that one day she would meet someone who would take my place. One
day I would be a distant memory, her first love, the father of her child, the
one who gave his life in order to save the lives of his family. As
legacies go, it wasn’t the worst way to be remembered. But I knew deep in
my heart that I would never settle into a life without her. She would
consume my every thought. My life would be forever changed because of Grace.
I tightened my arms around her, waiting for her to fight
with me, disprove my logic, but she was silent. She had nothing to say;
she knew I was right.
“Please Grace, say something. It’s our last night
together. Talk to me.”
Still nothing. Had she fallen asleep? Had she
not heard anything I had just confessed?
“Grace?” I lowered my head to her chest, trying to
find any way to be closer to her. Her heartbeat soothed my anxiety, and I
closed my eyes. I reminded myself that unless I could find another way
around Sean’s demands, this was how I would spend my last few moments with
Grace.
I matched my breathing to hers, finding relaxation in the
gentle rise and fall of her chest. But the relaxation didn’t last
long. Her breathing quickened. It was hard to keep up to her
rhythm. Her body chilled beneath my grasping hands. Her muscles
tightened. Her heartbeat slowed, it slowed some more, and then it slowed
again.
“Grace?”
I didn’t know why I expected an answer then, but calling her
name was all I could do to not lose my control.
“Grace.” I began to shake her. Still
nothing. “No.” I growled under my breath. “Please, God, no.”
Her pulse was waning. The combination of the bitter
cold and the residual drugs left in her system must have put an extra strain on
her body.
I jumped up from the couch, pulled up my boxers, and began
to scream as loud as I could.
“Is someone up there? Hello? Please, we need
help!”
I ran to the door and began to bang my fists against the
metal. “So help me God, Sean, if you are out there I will ring your
throat if she dies.”
My pounding continued. I punched, I kicked,
That was the last thing I remembered. I woke up,
alone, in the hospital.
Ryan
“Grace, I need to talk to you about something.”
We were still wrapped up in each other, both satisfied from
our attempt to find heat in the otherwise freezing basement of the Cupids clubhouse.
She made a slight noise, letting me know she was listening although she was
fading. It was late, and I was sure she was exhausted, but I knew what
the morning would bring. I didn’t want to sleep when I knew I might only
have a few more hours left with the love of my life.
“I know you’re tired, but you’re going to have to hear me
out. Grace, I need to keep you safe; I need to keep our baby safe.
But in order to do that, I’m going to need to go away for awhile.”
The words sounded so silly. I felt like someone in one
of those old movies who was trying to explain to a child that a mission they were
about to embark on may not bring them home alive. I guess that was
exactly what I was saying though. Sean had promised that if I helped him
build his own army, he would leave Grace alone. I believed that much, I
really did. I wasn’t living outside of reality though. Once Sean
had no use for me, I was sure as dead. Then he’d surely turn his sights
back on Grace.
I then went on to explain the terms of Sean’s offer.
There was no use hiding anything from her; she deserved the truth. She
deserved to know why she would be raising our child alone.
“He’s right though. There is no other option. I
don’t want to be running from him for the rest of our lives. I want you
to have the life you dreamed you could. I just can’t be in it.”
It stung to say the last line out loud. I hated
thinking that one day she would meet someone who would take my place. One
day I would be a distant memory, her first love, the father of her child, the
one who gave his life in order to save the lives of his family. As
legacies go, it wasn’t the worst way to be remembered. But I knew deep in
my heart that I would never settle into a life without her. She would
consume my every thought. My life would be forever changed because of Grace.
I tightened my arms around her, waiting for her to fight
with me, disprove my logic, but she was silent. She had nothing to say;
she knew I was right.
“Please Grace, say something. It’s our last night
together. Talk to me.”
Still nothing. Had she fallen asleep? Had she
not heard anything I had just confessed?
“Grace?” I lowered my head to her chest, trying to
find any way to be closer to her. Her heartbeat soothed my anxiety, and I
closed my eyes. I reminded myself that unless I could find another way
around Sean’s demands, this was how I would spend my last few moments with
Grace.
I matched my breathing to hers, finding relaxation in the
gentle rise and fall of her chest. But the relaxation didn’t last
long. Her breathing quickened. It was hard to keep up to her
rhythm. Her body chilled beneath my grasping hands. Her muscles
tightened. Her heartbeat slowed, it slowed some more, and then it slowed
again.
“Grace?”
I didn’t know why I expected an answer then, but calling her
name was all I could do to not lose my control.
“Grace.” I began to shake her. Still
nothing. “No.” I growled under my breath. “Please, God, no.”
Her pulse was waning. The combination of the bitter
cold and the residual drugs left in her system must have put an extra strain on
her body.
I jumped up from the couch, pulled up my boxers, and began
to scream as loud as I could.
“Is someone up there? Hello? Please, we need
help!”
I ran to the door and began to bang my fists against the
metal. “So help me God, Sean, if you are out there I will ring your
throat if she dies.”
My pounding continued. I punched, I kicked,
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