his hand in the air. “But...hm.” He stood up and rounded the desk, his hand on his chin, his brows furrowed in thought. “What?” asked Death. “Go on.” “I just figured, now that you mention it, we could talk a little about that,” said Satan, crossing his arms and smiling. “I knew it.” “No, it’s not like that. I just figured we could talk . I haven’t seen you in some time and I was just wondering why you wanted to leave your post so arbitrarily, at such a crucial moment in history.” “It wasn’t arbitrary,” said Death, crossing his own arms and unable to bring himself to look Satan in his deep red eyes. “I just wanted to know, what happened? Why retire now?” asked Satan. He sounded more concerned than anything. “I just...hm,” said Death. He knew he would be faced with such a question, but never quite knew how he was going to respond. “The humans, they look so happy and relaxed. I was constantly working, never any rest, never any time to do anything I wanted. And they used to hate me up on earth. Now I actually have friends.” “Deathy baby,” said Satan, laughing with his arms outstretched. “It’s not a matter of having time . You have all the time in the universe. But we all have places in life, and yours is dishing out death.” “It’s not what I want,” said Death hastily. “I want...peace, and...quiet...ness...” He could not find the right words. Satan only laughed. “Death, come on now,” he said as though he were trying to convince a child. “Just because something is different than what you’re used to doesn’t mean it’s better. I knew a girl once who complained constantly about a college she went to. When she transferred colleges she hated that one. She transferred again. Then when she got a job, hated it. Got a new one, hated it. Meanwhile Famine is running around in third world countries, and here is this girl who is complaining about the colleges she attends.” He looked up, seemingly having lost his train of thought. “My...uh, my point is, sometimes you’re in a certain spot for a reason. You can’t just find something new for the sake of it.” “But you aren’t getting it,” said Death. He was being more adamant than usual, and it made him feel good. “I enjoy what I’m doing right now. I don’t even know how long I’ve been working. It’s been ages. Now I just want to settle down, enjoy the rest of eternity.” Satan let out a deep sigh and sat back down in his swivel chair. He decided to try a different angle as he folded his hands and gazed deeply at Death. “Look, you know about the feud between God and me.” “Well, yeah,” said Death. “Been going on for quite some time.” “And we’re trying to build our armies here, so one day trumpets can blare and we can wage war on the earth and whatnot. But without you, no one goes to Heaven or Hell. They just rot. What’s going to happen, people are just going to stay on earth, overpopulating until it becomes unbearable? Then they lose their mental states completely as their bodies deteriorate?” “No,” said Death quietly. He did not want to admit it, but Satan was getting to him, putting pictures into his mind of men and women, hundreds of years old with tarnished bodies and lost minds. But he shook off the images and pressed forward. “Look, I’m not going to be a pawn for your little feud.” Satan put his hands up in defense. “Whoa, whoa, I never said that. Look, Death. Boopee .” He had a great smile on his face, which vexed Death. “We don’t want you picking sides. We made that very clear when this began. You’re more powerful than both God and I combined. Hell, you could reap anyone at anytime, even us, if you tried hard enough. We understand that. And we’re happy . You’ve been cooperative through the whole thing.” Death took a sip of his coffee as Satan rubbed the side of his chin with his palm. “The point isn’t to give me
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