to you, always thinking you’re going to get the chance to say goodbye, the big death-bed scene. I never got that chance with Mum, and only now did it hit me like a bolt out of the
blue.
‘I’ve moved on as best I can, Douglas,’ said Mum. ‘One has to. To dwell on the past would’ve served no purpose. I have to celebrate Will’s life the only way I
know how. I need to live on, for him. Keep him alive in my heart.’
Dougie, bless him, stepped forward to hug her. She was right, he had always been a sensitive soul.
‘If only she knew I was here,’ I said, as much to myself as Dougie. But there was nothing from her, no awareness, no recognition of my presence. I reached out and ran my hand over
her head, my fingers lingering through her hair. My heart ached. She glanced up suddenly.
What was that?
‘Anyway, I just wanted to call by and say hello,’ Dougie said, pulling away.
‘I’m glad you did,’ said Mum. ‘You’re a good lad, Douglas. Don’t be shy about calling round.’
‘I won’t,’ replied Dougie. I knew he probably wouldn’t come back. He’d been here for me, not my mother. Had this been the last roll of the dice in our search to
find answers? Where did this leave us now? There was only really one place left.
Dougie started for the door, pausing to give my mum one more compliment.
‘I like the tracksuit,’ he said. ‘Are you working out alongside Mr Underwood?’
‘Oh no, the box room’s all Geoff’s. Val and I have been training for a fun run, to raise funds for the children’s hospice in town. As I said, I’ve found a way of
celebrating Will’s memory and doing some good for other kids in the process.’
‘That’s awesome,’ said Dougie, and he meant it. He even glanced my way and nodded. My heart ballooned now, full of pride for my mum’s efforts.
‘There’s a gang of us, mums from the old school run from when you boys were in short pants. The run’s this afternoon at the race course.’
‘You could join us,’ said Val. ‘I’m sure we’ve got a spare T-shirt in your size.’
‘T-shirt?’ he asked.
Right on cue, Val and Mum unzipped their tracksuit tops and pulled them open. My school photo from about Year Five was emblazoned on the front of their pristine white T-shirts, crowned with the
words
Team Will
. Dougie stifled a laugh.
‘Not bad, eh?’ said Val. ‘Sure you don’t want to join us?’
‘Very striking, but I’ll pass, if that’s OK,’ Dougie said as he reached back and grabbed the door handle. ‘I’m sure if Will were here to see you he’d be
very proud.’
‘I am here and “proud” isn’t a word that springs to mind. It’s times like this I’m glad I’m dead.’
The sight of Mum’s gang legging it across a racecourse with my face stencilled across them would have likely killed me anyway!
‘Make sure you live your life to its fullest, Douglas,’ said Mum. ‘Don’t be afraid of challenges, face up to your worst fears . . . you can do anything, understand me?
Regret is a terrible thing.’
Dougie nodded, my mother’s words seeming to make him think.
I made for the door, pausing to peck my mum on the cheek. ‘Love you, Mum.’
She raised a hand to her face, brushing the skin absentmindedly where I’d kissed her.
‘Did you see that?’ I said, as Dougie opened the door and I drifted after him. ‘I’m sure she felt something there – twice!’
My friend waved as he walked away from the house, setting off down the street. My mum waved back.
‘Your mum’s a smart lady, mate,’ he said, her words still ringing in his ears.
‘I need to work on that, the connection thing,’ I said excitedly, looking back at Mum on the doorstep as we left my old home behind. ‘There’s a way of reaching out, of
touching things in your world.’
‘All good,’ said Dougie, with purpose in his stride. ‘And in the meantime it’s time for me to reach out too. To try and touch someone in your world.’
‘What are you
blue.
‘I’ve moved on as best I can, Douglas,’ said Mum. ‘One has to. To dwell on the past would’ve served no purpose. I have to celebrate Will’s life the only way I
know how. I need to live on, for him. Keep him alive in my heart.’
Dougie, bless him, stepped forward to hug her. She was right, he had always been a sensitive soul.
‘If only she knew I was here,’ I said, as much to myself as Dougie. But there was nothing from her, no awareness, no recognition of my presence. I reached out and ran my hand over
her head, my fingers lingering through her hair. My heart ached. She glanced up suddenly.
What was that?
‘Anyway, I just wanted to call by and say hello,’ Dougie said, pulling away.
‘I’m glad you did,’ said Mum. ‘You’re a good lad, Douglas. Don’t be shy about calling round.’
‘I won’t,’ replied Dougie. I knew he probably wouldn’t come back. He’d been here for me, not my mother. Had this been the last roll of the dice in our search to
find answers? Where did this leave us now? There was only really one place left.
Dougie started for the door, pausing to give my mum one more compliment.
‘I like the tracksuit,’ he said. ‘Are you working out alongside Mr Underwood?’
‘Oh no, the box room’s all Geoff’s. Val and I have been training for a fun run, to raise funds for the children’s hospice in town. As I said, I’ve found a way of
celebrating Will’s memory and doing some good for other kids in the process.’
‘That’s awesome,’ said Dougie, and he meant it. He even glanced my way and nodded. My heart ballooned now, full of pride for my mum’s efforts.
‘There’s a gang of us, mums from the old school run from when you boys were in short pants. The run’s this afternoon at the race course.’
‘You could join us,’ said Val. ‘I’m sure we’ve got a spare T-shirt in your size.’
‘T-shirt?’ he asked.
Right on cue, Val and Mum unzipped their tracksuit tops and pulled them open. My school photo from about Year Five was emblazoned on the front of their pristine white T-shirts, crowned with the
words
Team Will
. Dougie stifled a laugh.
‘Not bad, eh?’ said Val. ‘Sure you don’t want to join us?’
‘Very striking, but I’ll pass, if that’s OK,’ Dougie said as he reached back and grabbed the door handle. ‘I’m sure if Will were here to see you he’d be
very proud.’
‘I am here and “proud” isn’t a word that springs to mind. It’s times like this I’m glad I’m dead.’
The sight of Mum’s gang legging it across a racecourse with my face stencilled across them would have likely killed me anyway!
‘Make sure you live your life to its fullest, Douglas,’ said Mum. ‘Don’t be afraid of challenges, face up to your worst fears . . . you can do anything, understand me?
Regret is a terrible thing.’
Dougie nodded, my mother’s words seeming to make him think.
I made for the door, pausing to peck my mum on the cheek. ‘Love you, Mum.’
She raised a hand to her face, brushing the skin absentmindedly where I’d kissed her.
‘Did you see that?’ I said, as Dougie opened the door and I drifted after him. ‘I’m sure she felt something there – twice!’
My friend waved as he walked away from the house, setting off down the street. My mum waved back.
‘Your mum’s a smart lady, mate,’ he said, her words still ringing in his ears.
‘I need to work on that, the connection thing,’ I said excitedly, looking back at Mum on the doorstep as we left my old home behind. ‘There’s a way of reaching out, of
touching things in your world.’
‘All good,’ said Dougie, with purpose in his stride. ‘And in the meantime it’s time for me to reach out too. To try and touch someone in your world.’
‘What are you
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