Davenport Harbor (Six Degrees Book 3) by Mayra Statham

you, ” he said, sounding so damn grateful that all I could do was nod. “ I should probably go. It ’ s pretty late, huh? ” He lamely asked, his cheek against mine, and I smiled.
    “ Stay, ” I whispered like an idiot, and his body stilled.
    “ I didn ’ t come for …”
    “ I ’ m not offering. ” I looked at him. “ Stay, ” I repeated.
    Why? I didn ’ t know. I just knew I felt better with him around. Safer. Safer? I almost wanted to laugh at the idea of having the big bad beast of the hill staying overnight somehow making me feel safer, but there was no other word for it.
    “ I might kiss you if I stay, ” he told me, and I laughed, my heart skipping a beat.
    “ I might kiss you back if you do. ” Stepping back from him and taking a deep breath, I extended my hand and looked at him. He didn’t hesitate in grabbing it and walking with me to my bedroom.

Chapter Twelve
     
    John
     
    My heart was pounding in my chest in a way that it never had, not even when I was a teenager.
    Standing in the darkened bedroom with Anne in front of me holding my hand, I was surrounded by her scent. Her hand was pulling me towards the bed, and I kicked off my shoes as I watched her lie down on the bed.
    I hesitated getting in bed with her. Can I lie in bed and not try to get in her pants?
    "John?"
    "How far?" I blurted out, my tone harsher than I had intended.
    "What?" She asked, sitting up in bed, her knees bent up to her chest, her face tilted, and even in the darkness, her eyes were sparkling with amusement.
    "How far can I push the boundaries?" I asked seriously, and she was now grinning at me.
    "Are you afraid of sleeping with me?" She asked, now clearly amused by me.
    "Anne."
    "I'm not a virgin, John." She told me, raising a pretty little eyebrow.
    "I didn't think you were with being Zoey's mom and all."
    "Then what's the problem?" She asked, and I wondered how the idea of lying down, sleeping all night with her in my arms, could somehow terrify me yet have my body actually crave it at the same time. Swallowing hard, I looked at her.
    "I..." I was at a fucking loss for words, was what I was. I watched her face the moment she realized my problem.
    "You're scared." Her voice was full of wonder. How could she not realize how damn terrifying a creature she truly was?
    "What? No!" I childishly answered, and the room filled with the sweet sound of her soft laughter that slowly disappeared. I sat at the edge of the bed by her feet and looked at the floor.
    Tonight's apology did not go the way Mike had suggested.
    Not anywhere close.
    If I ’ d followed Mike ’ s directions, I wouldn't have even stepped into the house. I wouldn't have told her the things I had. I wouldn't have held her in my arms and I sure as hell would not have been invited to sleep with her.
    I wasn’t sure if I was an idiot or a damn genius.
    "John?" She was kneeling on the bed in front of me, a sweet expression on her face. "You can go home. I mean, if you don't want to stay. If you changed your mind, it ’ s no big..."
    "I've never done this," I admitted, feeling like the world ’ s biggest jackass.
    "Are you a virgin?" She asked jokingly, and I scowled at her.
    "I've never done the sleepover thing." Anne was looking at me like she couldn’t decide if I was being honest with her or if I was joking.
    "You're forty-three." The shock in her voice made me wince.
    She was never going to want to take a chance on me.
    I was forty-three and intimacy had somehow eluded me. I couldn ’ t tell you how many women I ’ d had beneath me, on top of me, and in front of me, but simple things I had no clue how to do. Panic spread through me. Do I want a chance?
    I wanted everything with her.
    Shit.
    I looked at her. Really looked at her, at her beauty in front of me, and I realized that somehow, she spread a calm through me. Well, shit . When did this happen? How had I not let myself realize it before it was too late? Not that I was actually sure what ‘ it