Twilight, then getting to her in winter seas will be difficult. I need to call Mara tonight, need to hammer out an outline. You don't have to do this, Izzy. We can go the suggestive route rather than hardcore."
"I want hardcore. Not because it'll piss him off, but because I enjoy your version of hardcore." I didn't realize until I spoke how true that was.
"Let's finish discussing this when we get back home. It's kind of awkward, harvesting rabbit and talking about sex and vengeance.
"You said to distract you." Remember, Tyb?
He turned back around and got back to work, skinning the rabbit. "Too much of a distraction, I'm afraid."
"That's because you're sprung on me." I knew he was by how some days he'd avoid me—not rudely, but there was always something calling to be done. If his rocket mass heater is so damned efficient, why keep cutting all that wood when he already has three times the amount needed to heat through winter?
"I try not to think about it, Izzy."
"Why? I like to think about it. You're a sweet and decent guy. It's almost sad that you're stuck up here, alone more often than not."
"I'm not always alone. You forget the other strays Mara has dragged here. And family."
"So you admit you don't miss the company of women?" I half-scoffed at the notion.
"I didn't say that . I just said I'm not always alone. You're proof of that."
"I know that. But when this whole thing with Christos ends… I…I… I just want to thank you, Tyb, for everything."
"Everything? You're working off the room and board by helping out here. Don't thank me for the hard work you do."
I bit my lip in frustration. "You don't know how empowering the past two months have been for me."
"Because I'm sprung on you?" Tyb teased.
"That's a bonus." I grinned, even though his broad back faced me. "You're the best vacation I've ever had. That's saying something for someone who has traveled around the globe." Cue the perverted passport stamp joke.
"Just admit it, Izzy. You think I'm hot and you lust for me every waking moment, and make your toes curl in anticipation."
"There's that too. But I…" I wanted to tell him when this was all over, and if the world didn't get salted by exploding nuclear zompires… what? That I wanted to stay up here, working with him? That I am way more fond of him than I have any right to be? That I wanted to know if he could picture me in the future, his future ?"
"What are you trying to tell me?" His back still faced me. "I know you care a lot for me, Izzy. Just don't. Last thing I want to do is hurt you."
"You won't intentionally hurt me. I know that." I couldn't shut up, despite my brain screeching for the vocal brakes. "You know what's sad? I was married two years to Christos and never had the level of trust with him that I do with you. That saddens me."
"I have no words of consolation. It is what it is." I watched him shrug his shoulders. " Woulda coulda shoulda … it's a poison to a happy life. "
I needed to know, needed a definitive answer. "How soon do you want me to leave once this thing with Christos is settled?" My affection for Tyb could spell bad things if I have nothing else to focus on. Chores took care of that during the day, but by night my mind wanders toward questions I have no answer.
"You want to leave?" I never heard that tone from Tyb. Surprise, tinged with hurt.
"No. I like it up here way too much, I think."
"Too much as in you want to get back to normalcy? Or too much as in you want to stay up here longer?"
I worried my lower lip with my teeth before answering. "Very much the staying up here part."
Slowly, Tyb turned around to face me. "I truly wish that was an option, Izzy."
I flinched at his reply, honest as it was. "Why?"
"You don't want to know the answer to that."
"Uh, yes I do. I just asked why."
"Have it your way. You staying up here isn't an option for longer than necessary because you have family who would love nothing more than to hear from you
"I want hardcore. Not because it'll piss him off, but because I enjoy your version of hardcore." I didn't realize until I spoke how true that was.
"Let's finish discussing this when we get back home. It's kind of awkward, harvesting rabbit and talking about sex and vengeance.
"You said to distract you." Remember, Tyb?
He turned back around and got back to work, skinning the rabbit. "Too much of a distraction, I'm afraid."
"That's because you're sprung on me." I knew he was by how some days he'd avoid me—not rudely, but there was always something calling to be done. If his rocket mass heater is so damned efficient, why keep cutting all that wood when he already has three times the amount needed to heat through winter?
"I try not to think about it, Izzy."
"Why? I like to think about it. You're a sweet and decent guy. It's almost sad that you're stuck up here, alone more often than not."
"I'm not always alone. You forget the other strays Mara has dragged here. And family."
"So you admit you don't miss the company of women?" I half-scoffed at the notion.
"I didn't say that . I just said I'm not always alone. You're proof of that."
"I know that. But when this whole thing with Christos ends… I…I… I just want to thank you, Tyb, for everything."
"Everything? You're working off the room and board by helping out here. Don't thank me for the hard work you do."
I bit my lip in frustration. "You don't know how empowering the past two months have been for me."
"Because I'm sprung on you?" Tyb teased.
"That's a bonus." I grinned, even though his broad back faced me. "You're the best vacation I've ever had. That's saying something for someone who has traveled around the globe." Cue the perverted passport stamp joke.
"Just admit it, Izzy. You think I'm hot and you lust for me every waking moment, and make your toes curl in anticipation."
"There's that too. But I…" I wanted to tell him when this was all over, and if the world didn't get salted by exploding nuclear zompires… what? That I wanted to stay up here, working with him? That I am way more fond of him than I have any right to be? That I wanted to know if he could picture me in the future, his future ?"
"What are you trying to tell me?" His back still faced me. "I know you care a lot for me, Izzy. Just don't. Last thing I want to do is hurt you."
"You won't intentionally hurt me. I know that." I couldn't shut up, despite my brain screeching for the vocal brakes. "You know what's sad? I was married two years to Christos and never had the level of trust with him that I do with you. That saddens me."
"I have no words of consolation. It is what it is." I watched him shrug his shoulders. " Woulda coulda shoulda … it's a poison to a happy life. "
I needed to know, needed a definitive answer. "How soon do you want me to leave once this thing with Christos is settled?" My affection for Tyb could spell bad things if I have nothing else to focus on. Chores took care of that during the day, but by night my mind wanders toward questions I have no answer.
"You want to leave?" I never heard that tone from Tyb. Surprise, tinged with hurt.
"No. I like it up here way too much, I think."
"Too much as in you want to get back to normalcy? Or too much as in you want to stay up here longer?"
I worried my lower lip with my teeth before answering. "Very much the staying up here part."
Slowly, Tyb turned around to face me. "I truly wish that was an option, Izzy."
I flinched at his reply, honest as it was. "Why?"
"You don't want to know the answer to that."
"Uh, yes I do. I just asked why."
"Have it your way. You staying up here isn't an option for longer than necessary because you have family who would love nothing more than to hear from you
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