the sentiment startles me. I turn my head to gauge his expression. He isn’t joking. “You know, when my mom got sick, you were there every step of the way. I shared things with you that I’ve never told anyone. You’ve always been my best friend. And I love you for that,” he adds. Love? Oh God.
I search for the right words and give him a sincere smile. “You know how I feel about you. We’ve been through so much together,” is all I can come up with. There’s so much I’ve wanted to say to him all these years, yet articulate thought fails me now.
He nods his head. “Yeah, I know. I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t jump into something with you and not make you my priority. With all of our family stuff going on, it wouldn’t have been fair to you.”
Oh shit. He knows how I’ve felt all these years? What am I, an open book? I feel my cheeks heat in the darkness.
“Well it’s not like you’ve been celibate all this time,” I mumble. It’s true. As noble as it is that he’s been helping to care for his mom, it’s not like it’s halted his dating life.
“Those girls were nothing to me!” he says vehemently. “They were just something to do, something to get my mind off my mom dying in front of me and not being able to do anything about it.” His words stop me up short and I instantly regret my prior comment.
“Sorry,” I mutter, embarrassed at my lack of tact.
“Now that she’s doing better, I can stop worrying so much. I can start my life. I want to start it with you, Gabs.”
I can’t believe what he’s saying. It’s all I’ve wanted to hear for years. So why am I just sitting here in disbelief? Why am I not telling him I want that too?
“Jared. I don’t know. I mean, how?” Geez, is that the best I can do? What is it with me losing my wits around gorgeous men?
Then it hits me. Dorian . He’s the game changer.
“You don’t have to answer me now, but I want you to know how I feel. It would be easy. There’s nothing we don’t already know about each other,” he breathes, looking at me intently.
Well, that used to be true. Would Jared still feel this way if he knew about my new secret life? Would he think I was a freak? He wouldn’t be that far off.
As if reading my forlorn thoughts, Jared reaches to stroke my cheek with the back of his hand, pulling my eyes to his. His touch is so soft and inviting and I instinctively nuzzle into it. My hazel eyes turn to warm caramel as I gaze into his dazzling greens. His face slowly inches closer to mine as his large hand cups my chin. He’s all I’ve ever wanted to for so long, and soon I will feel his lips on mine, something I’ve dreamt about since I was a girl.
The familiar click clack of stiletto heels stops Jared’s lips a mere centimeter from mine. I hear Morgan laughing with Miguel and James about how the drunken college slut, Summer, was crying on some poor sap’s shoulder. They tumble into the back seat with a clatter all obviously very intoxicated.
“ Damn! The windows are all fogged up! What have you two been doing?” Morgan snickers. She’s encouraged by a chorus of ‘Ooooohs’ from Miguel and James, and they erupt into cackles as Jared turns beet red.
We stop at a local Denny’s for breakfast, packed to capacity with green-clad partygoers. We are lead to a booth only meant for 4 people so Morgan, Jared and I all cram into one side. Morgan is by the wall, I’m in the middle and Jared sits on the end so he can at least stretch his long legs. Feeling the warmth of his body touching mine, my arm brushing against his, thighs bonding under the cover of the table, makes my heart sputter. I breathe in and out deliberately, trying to regain control of my faculties. We make small talk about Morgan’s new frat boy conquests, the beer pong tournament that Miguel and James lost in the fourth round, and of course, my tussle with Little Miss Hot Shorts.
“Yeah, man, sorry about that,” James says to
I search for the right words and give him a sincere smile. “You know how I feel about you. We’ve been through so much together,” is all I can come up with. There’s so much I’ve wanted to say to him all these years, yet articulate thought fails me now.
He nods his head. “Yeah, I know. I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t jump into something with you and not make you my priority. With all of our family stuff going on, it wouldn’t have been fair to you.”
Oh shit. He knows how I’ve felt all these years? What am I, an open book? I feel my cheeks heat in the darkness.
“Well it’s not like you’ve been celibate all this time,” I mumble. It’s true. As noble as it is that he’s been helping to care for his mom, it’s not like it’s halted his dating life.
“Those girls were nothing to me!” he says vehemently. “They were just something to do, something to get my mind off my mom dying in front of me and not being able to do anything about it.” His words stop me up short and I instantly regret my prior comment.
“Sorry,” I mutter, embarrassed at my lack of tact.
“Now that she’s doing better, I can stop worrying so much. I can start my life. I want to start it with you, Gabs.”
I can’t believe what he’s saying. It’s all I’ve wanted to hear for years. So why am I just sitting here in disbelief? Why am I not telling him I want that too?
“Jared. I don’t know. I mean, how?” Geez, is that the best I can do? What is it with me losing my wits around gorgeous men?
Then it hits me. Dorian . He’s the game changer.
“You don’t have to answer me now, but I want you to know how I feel. It would be easy. There’s nothing we don’t already know about each other,” he breathes, looking at me intently.
Well, that used to be true. Would Jared still feel this way if he knew about my new secret life? Would he think I was a freak? He wouldn’t be that far off.
As if reading my forlorn thoughts, Jared reaches to stroke my cheek with the back of his hand, pulling my eyes to his. His touch is so soft and inviting and I instinctively nuzzle into it. My hazel eyes turn to warm caramel as I gaze into his dazzling greens. His face slowly inches closer to mine as his large hand cups my chin. He’s all I’ve ever wanted to for so long, and soon I will feel his lips on mine, something I’ve dreamt about since I was a girl.
The familiar click clack of stiletto heels stops Jared’s lips a mere centimeter from mine. I hear Morgan laughing with Miguel and James about how the drunken college slut, Summer, was crying on some poor sap’s shoulder. They tumble into the back seat with a clatter all obviously very intoxicated.
“ Damn! The windows are all fogged up! What have you two been doing?” Morgan snickers. She’s encouraged by a chorus of ‘Ooooohs’ from Miguel and James, and they erupt into cackles as Jared turns beet red.
We stop at a local Denny’s for breakfast, packed to capacity with green-clad partygoers. We are lead to a booth only meant for 4 people so Morgan, Jared and I all cram into one side. Morgan is by the wall, I’m in the middle and Jared sits on the end so he can at least stretch his long legs. Feeling the warmth of his body touching mine, my arm brushing against his, thighs bonding under the cover of the table, makes my heart sputter. I breathe in and out deliberately, trying to regain control of my faculties. We make small talk about Morgan’s new frat boy conquests, the beer pong tournament that Miguel and James lost in the fourth round, and of course, my tussle with Little Miss Hot Shorts.
“Yeah, man, sorry about that,” James says to
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