Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man: A Novel

Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man: A Novel by Fannie Flagg

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Authors: Fannie Flagg
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Harwin County. She even has a layaway plan.
August 28, 1952
    I wish those two would make up their minds. One minute Momma hates Daddy and the next minute they both gang up on me. She tells me he is a no-good rotten father and I don’t have to mind him. Then she gets friendly with him and ignores me. I never know what to think.
    I have to go in their room to get to the bathroom and all I did was come in to go to the bathroom when both of them jumped on me. Daddy even hit me. It was in the middle of the afternoon and Daddy must be crazy because there isn’t any door to knock on, except the screen door.
    I didn’t know they were taking a nap and besides, my mother didn’t have any clothes on. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was showing Daddy her hysterectomy scar.
    She lied to me. Daddy has too seen her naked. To hell with them!
    I have checked and they don’t have a girls’ town where I could go and live at all, just a boys’ town. Boys get all the attention!
August 29, 1952
    Do you think that Ann Blyth has false teeth? The beauty operators up at Nita’s Beauty Box do.
    I had my hair fixed for the Smiley Burnette picture contest today. Earline, the one that did my hair, said that Ann Blyth had enough china in her mouth to set a table for ten.
    The Beauty Box is decorated all in purple. They have purple leather chairs and all the operators wear purple uniforms with purple plastic name pins. The woman who owns the Beauty Box, Mrs. Nita Beaver, must be crazy over purple.
    Edna took me there because Momma was working. They let me look in the movie magazines and pick out a hairdo, free of extra charge. I chose one that Lizabeth Scott wore in the movie
Dark City
.
    My ears about burned off from sitting under that dryer. They didn’t put enough cotton on them. Those bobby pins get red-hot and I still have marks on the back of my neck where they burned me. When Earline combed me out, she nearly killed me and broke some teeth in her comb. She said, “Girl, you’ve got hait like a horse’s tail.” According to Mrs. Dot, true aristocrats have hair as thin as a bee’s wing, so I guess that lets me out. When she finished, Edna said it looked exactly like Lizabeth Scott’s hair, but Daddy said I looked more like Betty Furness.
    The hairdo cost me two dollars and a half, plus tip. Momma said I had to tip my operator. Only white trash don’t tip. If it had been up to me, I wouldn’t have given her anything for breaking a comb on my head.
    I made a mistake because the Smiley Burnette picture contest isn’t until tomorrow morning at ten o’clock and I am going to have to sit up all night. If I don’t, I will mash my hairdo.
    Earline told me Kay Bob Benson had made a special seven-thirty-in-the-morning appointment so her hairdo will be fresh for the picture with Smiley. I didn’t know you could get an appointment at seven-thirty in the morning.
    Dumb Michael has the measles and can’t go at all, so I wasted that dollar I paid him not to have his picture taken. He said it was only fair because I made him miss Tawney the Tassel Woman’s act. He’s got a memory like an elephant.
    Daddy and I have been working all week to fix my tooth for the picture. He got some white candle wax and glued a piece on with airplane glue so you would never know I had a chipped tooth.
    I can’t wait until tomorrow morning. I hope the saddle goes with it. Jimmy Snow is going to pick me up in his Henry J at nine and take me to the theater because Saturday is Momma’s and Daddy’s busy day and they can’t leave.
August 30, 1952
    I was out in front of the malt shop at eight o’clock this morning, ready to go. I waited and waited, but Jimmy Snow never showed up.
    When it got to be ten o’clock, I started walking so if I met Jimmy on the highway, we could save some time.
    I walked ten miles to Magnolia Springs, but he never came down that highway.
    By the time I got to the theater, the wax had melted off my tooth. It didn’t

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