shook his head: he wasn’t buying it ‘I’ll choose the times myself, and I’m beginning right now.’
‘I’m the teacher,’ I pointed out. ‘I know what’s best.’
‘Yeah, but I don’t trust you yet.’
‘So what do you propose to do?’
‘I’m going to hang around you all the time and watch you, like the Professor said I should.’
‘My dear fellow! That would be quite impossible. For one thing, I would be unable to act in a characteristic manner – the uncertainty principle in human relations, if you see what I mean. And so there would be nothing for you to study.’
Berserker jutted his jaw at me in an unpleasant manner and said, ‘Either you’ll act in a characteristic manner or I’ll beat the hell out of you.’
‘What good would that do? No confidence man is able to act with confidence after he’s been beaten up.’
He stopped to consider that. I could almost feel the sluggish relays in his brain opening and closing, bringing him simplified message-units that he could barely comprehend. At last he said, ‘If you don’t act confidently like a confidence man, then I’ll kill you and find someone else to copy.’
I forced out a jolly little chuckle. ‘But I’m the best,’ I reminded him. ‘In fact, I’m the only firstrate confidence man on this planet. You’d have to go copy some second-rater, which would make you third-rate at best.’
‘I really want to learn from you,’ he said. ‘I see that you got a lot of class.’
‘Now you’re talking,’ I said, giving him a playful punch on the arm. ‘We’ll do it my way and you’ll be a confidence man in no time.’
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘But as my first act of confidence I am going to do it my way by sticking to you and observing you all the time like the Professor said I should.’
And that was his last word on the subject. A tough one indeed for yours truly! But never fear, I shall figure something out.
17
From Gilliam’s Secret Diary:
Well, I’ve finally done it – walked out on Ed, even though he obviously didn’t want me to go. What a relief it was at first! But then Gwendkwifer started acting up, and there was nothing happening, and I started to think how nice it used to be with Ed every once in a while, so I told him I’d changed my mind, I wanted to come back, and the bastard told me to get lost!
I know it’s all the influence of that bird-faced little pal of his. Ever since he’s come, Ed has been just a wild man. (Ed’s always been a bit wild anyhow, of course. He tells me that’s because of his Sicilian ancestry on his mother’s side. I’m just a fool for these third-world types.)
And Gwendkwifer is really bugging me. She keeps on saying that she misses Daddy, and that’s all right, but when she says she misses Daddy’s girlfriends , that’s really too much, and from my own daughter, too. I really don’t understand why I have to take this crap. Did I go to Radcliffe in order to hear that kind of jazz?
Well, at least I’ve finally made up my mind to take Ed back in spite of the fact that he deserves nothing better than a stake through his heart for the rotten werewolf bastard that he is. But he is Gwen’s father, and he’s not much worse than any other man. But the problem is that Ed doesn’t realize that he wants me back. It’s all the fault of that runty little twerp who claims to be some sort of relative to Ed’s. I couldn’t get the story straight. I guess it’s complicated in these Sicilian clans. Maybe he’s cast a spell over Ed, or maybe Ed is trying to prove some stupid male thing. He’s always been sorta flippy, but this time he’s getting too far out.
New entry:
I’ve been making a few phone calls and keeping my eyes open and I see that Ed is hanging around all the time with this big blond guy I never saw before. Where does he fit in? Those two are thicker than thieves and it all seems very pally and perverted and sick. Could Ed be
‘I’m the teacher,’ I pointed out. ‘I know what’s best.’
‘Yeah, but I don’t trust you yet.’
‘So what do you propose to do?’
‘I’m going to hang around you all the time and watch you, like the Professor said I should.’
‘My dear fellow! That would be quite impossible. For one thing, I would be unable to act in a characteristic manner – the uncertainty principle in human relations, if you see what I mean. And so there would be nothing for you to study.’
Berserker jutted his jaw at me in an unpleasant manner and said, ‘Either you’ll act in a characteristic manner or I’ll beat the hell out of you.’
‘What good would that do? No confidence man is able to act with confidence after he’s been beaten up.’
He stopped to consider that. I could almost feel the sluggish relays in his brain opening and closing, bringing him simplified message-units that he could barely comprehend. At last he said, ‘If you don’t act confidently like a confidence man, then I’ll kill you and find someone else to copy.’
I forced out a jolly little chuckle. ‘But I’m the best,’ I reminded him. ‘In fact, I’m the only firstrate confidence man on this planet. You’d have to go copy some second-rater, which would make you third-rate at best.’
‘I really want to learn from you,’ he said. ‘I see that you got a lot of class.’
‘Now you’re talking,’ I said, giving him a playful punch on the arm. ‘We’ll do it my way and you’ll be a confidence man in no time.’
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘But as my first act of confidence I am going to do it my way by sticking to you and observing you all the time like the Professor said I should.’
And that was his last word on the subject. A tough one indeed for yours truly! But never fear, I shall figure something out.
17
From Gilliam’s Secret Diary:
Well, I’ve finally done it – walked out on Ed, even though he obviously didn’t want me to go. What a relief it was at first! But then Gwendkwifer started acting up, and there was nothing happening, and I started to think how nice it used to be with Ed every once in a while, so I told him I’d changed my mind, I wanted to come back, and the bastard told me to get lost!
I know it’s all the influence of that bird-faced little pal of his. Ever since he’s come, Ed has been just a wild man. (Ed’s always been a bit wild anyhow, of course. He tells me that’s because of his Sicilian ancestry on his mother’s side. I’m just a fool for these third-world types.)
And Gwendkwifer is really bugging me. She keeps on saying that she misses Daddy, and that’s all right, but when she says she misses Daddy’s girlfriends , that’s really too much, and from my own daughter, too. I really don’t understand why I have to take this crap. Did I go to Radcliffe in order to hear that kind of jazz?
Well, at least I’ve finally made up my mind to take Ed back in spite of the fact that he deserves nothing better than a stake through his heart for the rotten werewolf bastard that he is. But he is Gwen’s father, and he’s not much worse than any other man. But the problem is that Ed doesn’t realize that he wants me back. It’s all the fault of that runty little twerp who claims to be some sort of relative to Ed’s. I couldn’t get the story straight. I guess it’s complicated in these Sicilian clans. Maybe he’s cast a spell over Ed, or maybe Ed is trying to prove some stupid male thing. He’s always been sorta flippy, but this time he’s getting too far out.
New entry:
I’ve been making a few phone calls and keeping my eyes open and I see that Ed is hanging around all the time with this big blond guy I never saw before. Where does he fit in? Those two are thicker than thieves and it all seems very pally and perverted and sick. Could Ed be
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