lend to Jade. Mel withdrew the cash and left it in an envelope in her top drawer to surprise Jade with the next day. She planned to make breakfast for her girlfriend and then tell her the news. But it was not to be.
Jade slept badly that night. She’d often had nightmares and Mel had heard her cry out in her sleep. This time it seemed worse. This time Jade was weeping. She cried for about two hours, just quietly sobbing, and refused to talk about anything. There were too many things Jade kept to herself, about her kids and her nightmares. Mel often didn’t know what to say or ask or do. Mel fell asleep when Jade went quiet, and she hoped that the morning’s news would cheer her up.
But when Mel woke up, Jade was gone. She had taken a backpack of clothes, her makeup, all her paperwork, all the things she needed to keep on going. But she had also taken everything else of value in the house – Mel’s laptop, jewellery, camera and the money in Mel’s drawer.
Mel’s world came crashing down with one look around her room. She sat there for a couple of hours before she could bring herself to call anyone.
“I don’t know whether she knew the money was there and that was why she chose that day or whether she planned it from when my parents agreed. You just don’t know whether they can see you coming from a mile away. My parents forgave me a lot easier than I thought. I think they were embarrassed that she got them too. But it took a long time to forgive myself. I felt like a complete idiot about everything I did for a long time.”
*
Imagine having no conscience at all: knowing that there is right and wrong and that people are damaged by your words and actions, but not caring. Being able to use people as stepping stones, without looking back. Taking everything you can from them before moving on to the next source of whatever it is that you enjoy, even if that is merely the fun of using people and watching their reactions.
Welcome to the world of the psychopath. According to research by criminal psychologist Robert Hare, it is estimated that about 3 per cent of men and 1 per cent of women in the general community are psychopaths. In the prison population, that number jumps to between 10 and 20 per cent. Men are more commonly diagnosed with psychopathy than women. Female psychopaths are more often labelled with Borderline Personality Disorder.
The terms psychopath and sociopath have long been used to describe wild-eyed madmen who brandish carving knives. In reality, the reverse is the scary truth. An absence of conscience and empathy frees up a lot of time to perfect a plan before carrying it out.
The terms psychopath and sociopath are now thrown around like confetti on TV and in movies. While the two conditions are different, what they share is an absence of conscience, or at least a very limited conscience. An ability to empathise, to imagine what it feels like for someone else, is also limited or not there at all. Some psychiatrists and psychologists believe that some people are born that way, whereas others assert strongly that the majority are influenced by their environment.
There is also debate about the different terms. What is generally agreed is that the psychopath has no conscience when it comes to those close to them. These are the people who can ruthlessly kill their own family, or empty grandma’s bank account without a bad feeling. Their personality is smooth, charming and composed. Even the highly trained eye may not be able to identify them. The sociopath is understood to have some experience of emotion. Their lack of conscience extends more to the values of society. They display anti-social behaviours, vandalism, theft and interpersonal exploitation, but will make exceptions for those they say they love.
Given her treatment of Mel, Jade seems to have swung more towards the psychopathic end of the spectrum.
Mel is much more philosophical than many about her experience. It’s been six years
Jade slept badly that night. She’d often had nightmares and Mel had heard her cry out in her sleep. This time it seemed worse. This time Jade was weeping. She cried for about two hours, just quietly sobbing, and refused to talk about anything. There were too many things Jade kept to herself, about her kids and her nightmares. Mel often didn’t know what to say or ask or do. Mel fell asleep when Jade went quiet, and she hoped that the morning’s news would cheer her up.
But when Mel woke up, Jade was gone. She had taken a backpack of clothes, her makeup, all her paperwork, all the things she needed to keep on going. But she had also taken everything else of value in the house – Mel’s laptop, jewellery, camera and the money in Mel’s drawer.
Mel’s world came crashing down with one look around her room. She sat there for a couple of hours before she could bring herself to call anyone.
“I don’t know whether she knew the money was there and that was why she chose that day or whether she planned it from when my parents agreed. You just don’t know whether they can see you coming from a mile away. My parents forgave me a lot easier than I thought. I think they were embarrassed that she got them too. But it took a long time to forgive myself. I felt like a complete idiot about everything I did for a long time.”
*
Imagine having no conscience at all: knowing that there is right and wrong and that people are damaged by your words and actions, but not caring. Being able to use people as stepping stones, without looking back. Taking everything you can from them before moving on to the next source of whatever it is that you enjoy, even if that is merely the fun of using people and watching their reactions.
Welcome to the world of the psychopath. According to research by criminal psychologist Robert Hare, it is estimated that about 3 per cent of men and 1 per cent of women in the general community are psychopaths. In the prison population, that number jumps to between 10 and 20 per cent. Men are more commonly diagnosed with psychopathy than women. Female psychopaths are more often labelled with Borderline Personality Disorder.
The terms psychopath and sociopath have long been used to describe wild-eyed madmen who brandish carving knives. In reality, the reverse is the scary truth. An absence of conscience and empathy frees up a lot of time to perfect a plan before carrying it out.
The terms psychopath and sociopath are now thrown around like confetti on TV and in movies. While the two conditions are different, what they share is an absence of conscience, or at least a very limited conscience. An ability to empathise, to imagine what it feels like for someone else, is also limited or not there at all. Some psychiatrists and psychologists believe that some people are born that way, whereas others assert strongly that the majority are influenced by their environment.
There is also debate about the different terms. What is generally agreed is that the psychopath has no conscience when it comes to those close to them. These are the people who can ruthlessly kill their own family, or empty grandma’s bank account without a bad feeling. Their personality is smooth, charming and composed. Even the highly trained eye may not be able to identify them. The sociopath is understood to have some experience of emotion. Their lack of conscience extends more to the values of society. They display anti-social behaviours, vandalism, theft and interpersonal exploitation, but will make exceptions for those they say they love.
Given her treatment of Mel, Jade seems to have swung more towards the psychopathic end of the spectrum.
Mel is much more philosophical than many about her experience. It’s been six years
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