conversation between Lex and Surfer Dude.
“ What an asshole ,” I imagine the dude saying to her.
“ I know, right? ” Lex probably says. “ I can’t believe he thought I’d actually have sex with him .” Or something like that.
“ Let’s go back to my place and fuck. ”
“ Okay. Your cock isn’t as big as Connor’s, ” she says, “ but it’s the motion of the ocean, right ?”
“ Yeah. I know all about ocean motion from all the surfing I do. ”
“ Totally. I want to ride your wave as soon as we get back to your place. ”
They turn away and fade into the crowd.
“Fuck!” I grunt in frustration.
I never planned on snapping the Sharpie in my hand in half, but I just did. It makes a huge fuckin mess when it spills all over the white table cloth and the headshot I was about to sign.
The girl waiting for me to sign it for her gasps. “Are you okay?”
I hold up my ink soaked hand, “Yeah. You got a napkin or something?”
<<<<<<<>>>>>>>
CONNOR
Two hours later, I’m finally finished with autographs. I have to sign more tomorrow, which is fine. I don’t want anyone who wants shit signed going away empty-handed. But I’m happy for the break.
I cruise through the packed convention hall looking for Electra. I wish I hadn’t thrown my hat and shades into the crowd during the stage show. People keep staring at me and whispering my name. I don’t stop unless they chase me down, which happens a few times.
Being famous is fuckin strange.
Too late to do anything about it now. Hopefully, things’ll die down when I’m not in the middle of a fuckin romance convention. In the mean time, I really need to find Electra. I need to… Fuck, I don’t know what.
Yeah I do.
I need to talk to her. I don’t like how things fell apart when Romeo walked in on me and her when we were about to fuck. And that Surfer Douche needs to back the fuck off.
I stop dead in my tracks.
What the fuck is my problem?
I’m chasing some chick.
I don’t chase women.
Ever.
Get a grip on yourself, you pussy.
I don’t need Electra. I’m surrounded by 45,000 women who would all be happy to jump on my dick. Or, I can walk up to Sunset Boulevard a couple miles from here where some of the hottest women on the planet will also try and jump on my dick. It’s just the way it is.
But for some fuckin strange reason, I don’t give a fuck about any of them. All I want is to talk to Electra.
“It’s him!” some random woman gasps. She waves to three friends behind her. “It’s Connor, you guys!”
Shit.
“Can we take a picture with you? Our book group will flip if we get a picture with you.”
“Yeah, sure,” I mutter.
The next thing I know, I’ve got my arms around the three friends, ready to say cheese for the camera.
“Wait!” one says. “You have to be in the picture too, Joanne!”
I smile politely while Joanne gets a random person walking by to shoot the group picture for her.
Shit twice.
Now the random woman who took the pic for Joanne wants to take a picture with me too, so I do that one. Ten minutes later, I’m still taking pictures with other women who walked up while all this was going on.
The whole time, all I can think about is Electra. Where the fuck is she? “Sorry ladies,” I sigh. “I really need to go.”
“Ooooh,” they all whine like I’m breaking their fuckin hearts.
I feel like an ass, but I need to go. “Call of nature,” I lie as politely as possible. I grin to myself. It’s actually true. Just not the bathroom kind of call of nature. More like the Call Of The Wild. Where the fuck is Electra? That Surfer Douche could be in her pants by now.
I charge into the crowd, heading for the nearest exit.
Once I’m outside, I realize I have no idea where Electra is. She could be in fuckin Mexico for all I know. Who would know how to find her?
Gloria.
She’s my only option. I call her office and her assistant Madeleine puts me on hold. After ten minutes of waiting,
“ What an asshole ,” I imagine the dude saying to her.
“ I know, right? ” Lex probably says. “ I can’t believe he thought I’d actually have sex with him .” Or something like that.
“ Let’s go back to my place and fuck. ”
“ Okay. Your cock isn’t as big as Connor’s, ” she says, “ but it’s the motion of the ocean, right ?”
“ Yeah. I know all about ocean motion from all the surfing I do. ”
“ Totally. I want to ride your wave as soon as we get back to your place. ”
They turn away and fade into the crowd.
“Fuck!” I grunt in frustration.
I never planned on snapping the Sharpie in my hand in half, but I just did. It makes a huge fuckin mess when it spills all over the white table cloth and the headshot I was about to sign.
The girl waiting for me to sign it for her gasps. “Are you okay?”
I hold up my ink soaked hand, “Yeah. You got a napkin or something?”
<<<<<<<>>>>>>>
CONNOR
Two hours later, I’m finally finished with autographs. I have to sign more tomorrow, which is fine. I don’t want anyone who wants shit signed going away empty-handed. But I’m happy for the break.
I cruise through the packed convention hall looking for Electra. I wish I hadn’t thrown my hat and shades into the crowd during the stage show. People keep staring at me and whispering my name. I don’t stop unless they chase me down, which happens a few times.
Being famous is fuckin strange.
Too late to do anything about it now. Hopefully, things’ll die down when I’m not in the middle of a fuckin romance convention. In the mean time, I really need to find Electra. I need to… Fuck, I don’t know what.
Yeah I do.
I need to talk to her. I don’t like how things fell apart when Romeo walked in on me and her when we were about to fuck. And that Surfer Douche needs to back the fuck off.
I stop dead in my tracks.
What the fuck is my problem?
I’m chasing some chick.
I don’t chase women.
Ever.
Get a grip on yourself, you pussy.
I don’t need Electra. I’m surrounded by 45,000 women who would all be happy to jump on my dick. Or, I can walk up to Sunset Boulevard a couple miles from here where some of the hottest women on the planet will also try and jump on my dick. It’s just the way it is.
But for some fuckin strange reason, I don’t give a fuck about any of them. All I want is to talk to Electra.
“It’s him!” some random woman gasps. She waves to three friends behind her. “It’s Connor, you guys!”
Shit.
“Can we take a picture with you? Our book group will flip if we get a picture with you.”
“Yeah, sure,” I mutter.
The next thing I know, I’ve got my arms around the three friends, ready to say cheese for the camera.
“Wait!” one says. “You have to be in the picture too, Joanne!”
I smile politely while Joanne gets a random person walking by to shoot the group picture for her.
Shit twice.
Now the random woman who took the pic for Joanne wants to take a picture with me too, so I do that one. Ten minutes later, I’m still taking pictures with other women who walked up while all this was going on.
The whole time, all I can think about is Electra. Where the fuck is she? “Sorry ladies,” I sigh. “I really need to go.”
“Ooooh,” they all whine like I’m breaking their fuckin hearts.
I feel like an ass, but I need to go. “Call of nature,” I lie as politely as possible. I grin to myself. It’s actually true. Just not the bathroom kind of call of nature. More like the Call Of The Wild. Where the fuck is Electra? That Surfer Douche could be in her pants by now.
I charge into the crowd, heading for the nearest exit.
Once I’m outside, I realize I have no idea where Electra is. She could be in fuckin Mexico for all I know. Who would know how to find her?
Gloria.
She’s my only option. I call her office and her assistant Madeleine puts me on hold. After ten minutes of waiting,
Similar Books
