Look at them. They have suffered long enough. It's bad. I think it'll do them good to know I'm fine."
Abhik nodded. "Well, it's your call. I just think it's a bad idea."
I looked at him. As always he was the sensible one. It was about time, I became one too. I had messed up this kind of stuff before. "Maybe you're right," I reasoned. "I don't want to scare them. Maybe a dream would be best; it's the safest way to do this. Maybe next time I come down here. Then maybe later I could reveal myself to them ... or maybe I could come in several dreams. I guess it would be better to not rush it and to think it properly through." I stared at my mother. "I'll just say goodbye now."
"I'll wait outside," Abhik said and went through the brick wall.
I smiled and floated closer to my mother. She had raised her head and looked in our direction, like she had heard our voices but couldn't see us.
"Is there anyone there?" she asked. Then she got up and walked to the window. Three people were walking past the house in the street. She closed the window and walked back to the box and all the pictures and my old drawings that she had lined up nicely on the bed. I recognized most of them, but there was one drawing that I hadn't seen before, one that I didn't seem to remember making. I picked it up without thinking about it and looked at it. It was me. A drawing of myself holding someone’s hand. Someone who was floating in the air.
I froze when I realized my mother had stopped walking and was now staring at the floating piece of paper in front of her. She let out a small shriek.
"Who is there?" she said once again. She didn't sound afraid. "Is it you, Meghan?"
I swallowed hard, and then slowly made myself visible. My mother stared at me, her eyes growing wider and wider as I slowly revealed myself to her.
Then she started screaming.
C HAPTER 19
" M ... M MEGHAN?"
The sound of my mother's voice saying my name felt so warm and soothing and took me right back to my childhood again. She stopped screaming after I shushed her and told her it was okay, that it wasn't dangerous, that it was just me. She still stared at me like she had seen ... well yes, a ghost which I guess I kind of was to her.
"Meghan?" She walked closer staring at me like she still couldn't believe it. "It can't be!"
Then she turned her face away. "No! You're not real. It's just my imagination." She turned her head and looked at me again. Then she reached out as if to touch me. Her hand was shaking heavily as it came closer to me. It went straight through my wobbly face. She pulled the hand back in shock. "No. You're not there."
She paused and looked paralyzed. I could hear her breathing. She stared at me closely again. "Are you? Is it really you? No. It can't be." She shook her head very fast, and then bit her fingernails nervously.
I took in a deep breath and found the courage to finally speak. It was hard to speak and I almost whispered.
"It's me."
My mother's eyes widened once again. Then she shook her head desperately. Her eyes were filled with anxiety. "No. No. No. It can't be. I must be losing it." She was biting her nails frantically. "Maybe I should call Dr. Kay again. She'll know what to do. She'll know what this is."
"Mom, it really is me," I said again. I reached out and grabbed a hold of her hand. I managed to hold on to it for several seconds.
My mother froze. She stared at the hands connecting our two worlds. When I let go, she gasped for air. She lifted her eyes and stared into mine. This time I could tell she knew it was really me and not some product of her imagination. A tear escaped from the corner of her eye. It rolled slowly down her cheek and ended on her upper lip. Another tear followed it. My mother reached out her hand once again and tried to stroke my cheek. It went better this time and I felt her gentle touch. The love from that small stroke went through my body like waves of electricity. I felt my eyes tearing up as well.
"My
Abhik nodded. "Well, it's your call. I just think it's a bad idea."
I looked at him. As always he was the sensible one. It was about time, I became one too. I had messed up this kind of stuff before. "Maybe you're right," I reasoned. "I don't want to scare them. Maybe a dream would be best; it's the safest way to do this. Maybe next time I come down here. Then maybe later I could reveal myself to them ... or maybe I could come in several dreams. I guess it would be better to not rush it and to think it properly through." I stared at my mother. "I'll just say goodbye now."
"I'll wait outside," Abhik said and went through the brick wall.
I smiled and floated closer to my mother. She had raised her head and looked in our direction, like she had heard our voices but couldn't see us.
"Is there anyone there?" she asked. Then she got up and walked to the window. Three people were walking past the house in the street. She closed the window and walked back to the box and all the pictures and my old drawings that she had lined up nicely on the bed. I recognized most of them, but there was one drawing that I hadn't seen before, one that I didn't seem to remember making. I picked it up without thinking about it and looked at it. It was me. A drawing of myself holding someone’s hand. Someone who was floating in the air.
I froze when I realized my mother had stopped walking and was now staring at the floating piece of paper in front of her. She let out a small shriek.
"Who is there?" she said once again. She didn't sound afraid. "Is it you, Meghan?"
I swallowed hard, and then slowly made myself visible. My mother stared at me, her eyes growing wider and wider as I slowly revealed myself to her.
Then she started screaming.
C HAPTER 19
" M ... M MEGHAN?"
The sound of my mother's voice saying my name felt so warm and soothing and took me right back to my childhood again. She stopped screaming after I shushed her and told her it was okay, that it wasn't dangerous, that it was just me. She still stared at me like she had seen ... well yes, a ghost which I guess I kind of was to her.
"Meghan?" She walked closer staring at me like she still couldn't believe it. "It can't be!"
Then she turned her face away. "No! You're not real. It's just my imagination." She turned her head and looked at me again. Then she reached out as if to touch me. Her hand was shaking heavily as it came closer to me. It went straight through my wobbly face. She pulled the hand back in shock. "No. You're not there."
She paused and looked paralyzed. I could hear her breathing. She stared at me closely again. "Are you? Is it really you? No. It can't be." She shook her head very fast, and then bit her fingernails nervously.
I took in a deep breath and found the courage to finally speak. It was hard to speak and I almost whispered.
"It's me."
My mother's eyes widened once again. Then she shook her head desperately. Her eyes were filled with anxiety. "No. No. No. It can't be. I must be losing it." She was biting her nails frantically. "Maybe I should call Dr. Kay again. She'll know what to do. She'll know what this is."
"Mom, it really is me," I said again. I reached out and grabbed a hold of her hand. I managed to hold on to it for several seconds.
My mother froze. She stared at the hands connecting our two worlds. When I let go, she gasped for air. She lifted her eyes and stared into mine. This time I could tell she knew it was really me and not some product of her imagination. A tear escaped from the corner of her eye. It rolled slowly down her cheek and ended on her upper lip. Another tear followed it. My mother reached out her hand once again and tried to stroke my cheek. It went better this time and I felt her gentle touch. The love from that small stroke went through my body like waves of electricity. I felt my eyes tearing up as well.
"My
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