Cookie's Case by Andy Siegel

…” I hear the classic sound of one person wrestling a phone out of another’s hand.
    â€œWho’s this on the phone?” Granny asks, all soured up. “You the man that owes Mr. Wang the money?”
    â€œYou got the right guy, but I don’t owe Wang any money.”
    â€œI see. Well, he ain’t allowed to use the phone but for business. Why you taking him away from what he needs to be keeping on at?”
    â€œGranny,” I say, “Robert was in pain. So I asked him why. That’s all. He didn’t do anything wrong, I assure you.”
    â€œOkay then, I’ll put him back on the line.”
    â€œWait!” I say with urgency. “Maybe I can help you out on Robert’s case.” I sense quiet caution on the other end of the line.
    â€œYou a lawyer?”
    â€œYes, I am.”
    â€œI don’t trust no lawyers.”
    â€œMe, neither.”
    â€œThat’s a good snap back.”
    â€œIt was a truthful one.”
    â€œHow come you don’t trust no lawyers, seeing you’re one of them?”
    â€œThe list is too long,” I tell her.
    â€œHa, I got me a list, too. Hmm,” she says, contemplating, “let me ask you this—do you believe what your clients tell ya?”
    â€œDepends on the client. If it were Robert,” I add, “the answer would be yes.” And I mean it.
    â€œThat’s straight on. Want to know why?”
    â€œSure do.”
    â€œYou see, Robert here, he’s a boy who ain’t told a lie since the day he was born. No threat of ass-whop or nothing.”
    â€œThat’s right, Granny,” I hear him say in the background. “I don’t tell no lies.”
    â€œHush, boy,” she says to him. “You see me jawing on the phone. And his own lawyer,” she says to me, “the one I fired—he didn’t believe Robert. Thought he was lying. Decided the boy caused his own accident ’cause that’s what the police report says. Ain’t no sense having a lawyer if he don’t believe ya.”
    â€œI have to agree with you on that.”
    â€œOne thing is for certain,” she states with conviction. “Robert didn’t cause no accident.”
    â€œThat’s right, Granny,” I hear him agree. “I didn’t cause no accident.”
    â€œWell, I can tell you this,” I respond, “I’m certain too that Robert didn’t cause the accident. There’s no doubt in my mind.”
    Now there’s quiet on the other end. The wheels are spinning inside her head. I can tell Granny’s not just smart but cagey.
    â€œWhat’s your name, lawyer?”
    â€œTug Wyler.”
    â€œYou bona fide?”
    â€œDo you mean am I admitted to the bar? Then the answer’s yes, I’m bona fide.”
    â€œStill,” she continues, “I don’t trust no lawyers. So I’ll be handling the case myself.”
    â€œMay I ask your name, please?”
    â€œJust did.” I hear her snicker at the fun she poked at me. “Just playing. The name’s Ethel.”
    â€œEthel, do you really think that’s a good idea? Handling Robert’s case yourself?”
    She waits a beat or two before answering. “Probably not, but like I’m saying for the third time, I don’t trust no lawyers.”
    â€œGive me the top reason on your list why not.”
    â€œThey’re after the quick money, for one thing. Robert’s lawyer was trying to have him take forty-seven thousand five hundred dollars for his case. Said it’s good money since Robert caused his own injury—”
    â€œWhich he didn’t,” I interject.
    â€œNow you’re catching on, Mr. Lawyer. But that ain’t hardly enough for what this boy’s been through. So I fired him. He was trying to take advantage, and for certain he was not no bona fide lawyer. We Killroys may not have a lot of dollars, but we chock full of