Conviction by Leah Cook

punishing me. I don't understand it, that's all.”
    “Is that what's been bothering you?”
    “No...Yes...it’s part of it. I'm still adjusting to this...situation, I guess.”
    “You're not the only one there, Precious.” James turned his body so that he was facing more towards her, but still turned towards the beautiful scenery around them. “I'm not a sadist, Kelly. Not all doms enjoy punishing their subs. For me? I hate it just as much as my subs. But I do it because it's what they need . My role as their dominant is to give them structure, security, and nurture. BDSM is more about these things than it is about sex or control. Control is freely given to me and I relish that gift. I treat that submission as if it were glass and could break at any time, because the bond is that fragile. I can just as easily say something wrong, do something wrong, that may shatter that glass, breaking the trust that has been placed in my hands. Whilst submitting is hard and takes control and patience, it's the same for the Dom. I have to continually evaluate any given situation that I am in and re-evaluate so that I know all my sub needs to do is respond to my commands and please me. After all, that's what a submissive desires.”
    “Seriously? I know this sounds naïve of me...after all I've been working at the club for a while now, but I've tried to...distance myself from that lifestyle. Sort of compartmentalise it. But, I always thought that it was about...control, punishments and pain. I had no idea that there was a deeper consciousness to it.”
    “How could you, Kelly?” James gently turned her head to face him using a single finger on her chin, not giving her the choice to keep her face turned away from him. She needed to see his side of the lifestyle, she needed to understand what it meant to him . For a second he felt like he was walking on a tightrope and the slightest error would hurtle him to the ground. He needed her to trust him, to be able to respond to him as if it were second nature. Like they'd been doing it for years. “Kelly, your life , your existence with Devlin,” he spat the last word as if it tasted sour on his tongue, “was never about the true meaning of any BDSM lifestyle. I know you've heard the term safe, sane and consensual around the club . What you lived through, what that bastard did to you? That was true slavery, not the BDSM version of a Master and slave, where the slave freely gives over complete control to her master, but non-consensual slavery, kidnapping, rape and torture. You had no choice in what happened to you, your body, your mind or your daughter. With me, with the lifestyle that I choose, there is always a choice. Always. If I don't agree with what a submissive needs, or wants, we go our separate ways. If a submissive cannot give me what I need and want, it's the same thing. It's a matter of finding the right mix for each person, both Dom and sub alike. Do you understand it a little better now?”
    Kelly looked into his eyes, at the sincerity and James' earnest attempt to set her mind at ease. He wasn't a sadist.
    “So you won’t enjoy it when you have to punish me?”
    “Out of everything I just said, that's what you got out of it?” James removed his finger from her face and laughed. His genuine chuckle sending a blush through her cheeks and a small giggle out of her own mouth. “I'm looking forward to hearing more of that come out of your mouth, Precious. It was small but it's the first time I've ever heard you laugh. Oh, and to answer your question, no I do not enjoy punishing my subs, but that doesn't mean that I will allow you to disrespect me either.”
    “Thank you, Sir.”
    “What for?”
    “For being honest with me. For not telling me what an idiot I am for not knowing this stuff already. For not yelling at me for asking you questions.”
    James quickly stood up and pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her. Kelly struggled against his tight hold until