the way. It had changed from a fairy tale to something else.
Something much darker.
“You’re running late, aren’t you?” Robert asked as I breezed into the kitchen. I hadn’t even seen him sitting at the breakfast counter. I thought he’d left for the club half an hour earlier.
“I thought you were at the club already.”
“I had a few phone calls to make so I came back.” Robert brought his mug to his mouth and sipped. “How come you’re not at the shop yet?”
“I promised Sharon I’d go with her to the obstetrician today.”
“I see. You’re a very good friend to her.”
“She’s got no one else right now,” I said as I made my way to the coffee machine. A fresh pot was brewed. “Her family rallied around her after Warren died, but they live all over the country and simply can’t be there for her as much as they’d like.” Robert already knew this. Why was I explaining my desire to be there for Sharon?
“She should have gone to live with her sister,” Robert commented.
“I’m sure her mom and Melanie will come closerto her due date.” Sharon’s sister, Melanie, had invited her to move to Phoenix and live with her and her husband until the baby was born, but Sharon had declined. She didn’t want to leave her matrimonial home. Even though the house was large and empty, she still felt close to Warren there.
“Good morning, ma’am.”
I looked up as Olga, our housekeeper, came into the kitchen. “Good morning, Olga.”
“Would you like me to prepare some breakfast for you?” she asked.
Olga was German-born, and despite having lived in America for close to thirty years, she still spoke with a fairly thick accent. She’d been Robert’s housekeeper for fifteen years—while he’d still been married to wife number two.
“No, thank you.” I took my travel mug from the cupboard above. “I’m just going to have coffee and run.”
“Are you sure, ma’am?”
“Yes. I’m fine.”
“Okay, then.”
Olga crossed the kitchen and opened the dishwasher. I filled my travel mug.
“I just wonder if it’s wise to go to this appointment with her.”
Robert’s words had me turning to face him. “Why?”
“Because.” He glanced in Olga’s direction, but she was busy filling the dishwasher. Satisfied that she wouldn’t hear, he continued, “Because of our own inability to get pregnant.”
I nodded grimly. After the pole incident a couple weeks earlier, Robert and I had made love only one other time. He’d killed my desire for him. One day, I hoped I would get over the hurt his words had caused—because I still wanted to get pregnant.
Robert already had three grown children and four grandchildren, and knew firsthand the joy of being a parent. I wanted to experience that joy, too.
“Actually, I think that going with Sharon will be good for me. Seeing her happy makes me happy. And seeing the baby move inside her belly…I can’t wait. It’s such a miracle, I know I’ll feel only joy.” I lowered my voice. “Besides, who says I’m not pregnant right now?”
I did hope that what I’d said was true, but there was another reason for my words. I wanted a reaction out of Robert. Did he want a baby as much as I did? Or was I in this alone?
He raised an eyebrow, then sipped more coffee. “Perhaps you are.”
Perhaps you are… No excitement. No yearning.
“I was thinking perhaps we could plan a trip to Paris,” Robert said.
“Now?”
“Why not? I know how much you love Paris.”
Paris won’t make me forget what you said to me.
“You know this isn’t a good time for me to get away,” I told him. “With all the graduations, and with Mother’s Day coming up, I’m superbusy.”
“Maybe in a few weeks, then.”
“We’ll see how it goes,” I said noncommittally.Because as I looked at my husband, I thought: Do I even want your baby? Maybe I can start my life with someone else, someone who adores me. Someone who wants what I want.
Maybe all my
Something much darker.
“You’re running late, aren’t you?” Robert asked as I breezed into the kitchen. I hadn’t even seen him sitting at the breakfast counter. I thought he’d left for the club half an hour earlier.
“I thought you were at the club already.”
“I had a few phone calls to make so I came back.” Robert brought his mug to his mouth and sipped. “How come you’re not at the shop yet?”
“I promised Sharon I’d go with her to the obstetrician today.”
“I see. You’re a very good friend to her.”
“She’s got no one else right now,” I said as I made my way to the coffee machine. A fresh pot was brewed. “Her family rallied around her after Warren died, but they live all over the country and simply can’t be there for her as much as they’d like.” Robert already knew this. Why was I explaining my desire to be there for Sharon?
“She should have gone to live with her sister,” Robert commented.
“I’m sure her mom and Melanie will come closerto her due date.” Sharon’s sister, Melanie, had invited her to move to Phoenix and live with her and her husband until the baby was born, but Sharon had declined. She didn’t want to leave her matrimonial home. Even though the house was large and empty, she still felt close to Warren there.
“Good morning, ma’am.”
I looked up as Olga, our housekeeper, came into the kitchen. “Good morning, Olga.”
“Would you like me to prepare some breakfast for you?” she asked.
Olga was German-born, and despite having lived in America for close to thirty years, she still spoke with a fairly thick accent. She’d been Robert’s housekeeper for fifteen years—while he’d still been married to wife number two.
“No, thank you.” I took my travel mug from the cupboard above. “I’m just going to have coffee and run.”
“Are you sure, ma’am?”
“Yes. I’m fine.”
“Okay, then.”
Olga crossed the kitchen and opened the dishwasher. I filled my travel mug.
“I just wonder if it’s wise to go to this appointment with her.”
Robert’s words had me turning to face him. “Why?”
“Because.” He glanced in Olga’s direction, but she was busy filling the dishwasher. Satisfied that she wouldn’t hear, he continued, “Because of our own inability to get pregnant.”
I nodded grimly. After the pole incident a couple weeks earlier, Robert and I had made love only one other time. He’d killed my desire for him. One day, I hoped I would get over the hurt his words had caused—because I still wanted to get pregnant.
Robert already had three grown children and four grandchildren, and knew firsthand the joy of being a parent. I wanted to experience that joy, too.
“Actually, I think that going with Sharon will be good for me. Seeing her happy makes me happy. And seeing the baby move inside her belly…I can’t wait. It’s such a miracle, I know I’ll feel only joy.” I lowered my voice. “Besides, who says I’m not pregnant right now?”
I did hope that what I’d said was true, but there was another reason for my words. I wanted a reaction out of Robert. Did he want a baby as much as I did? Or was I in this alone?
He raised an eyebrow, then sipped more coffee. “Perhaps you are.”
Perhaps you are… No excitement. No yearning.
“I was thinking perhaps we could plan a trip to Paris,” Robert said.
“Now?”
“Why not? I know how much you love Paris.”
Paris won’t make me forget what you said to me.
“You know this isn’t a good time for me to get away,” I told him. “With all the graduations, and with Mother’s Day coming up, I’m superbusy.”
“Maybe in a few weeks, then.”
“We’ll see how it goes,” I said noncommittally.Because as I looked at my husband, I thought: Do I even want your baby? Maybe I can start my life with someone else, someone who adores me. Someone who wants what I want.
Maybe all my
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