for going to work sans panties.
As it is, I just feel grumpy. When I get in my car, I carefully arrange Brazilian Baldy so that she’s not rubbing against my seat. My phone buzzes. It’s Sara.
That was your vagina talking, not you. You love me. You have to. Because I know all of your secrets.
I sigh. She has a point.
Fine. My vagina hates you, I answer.
I don’t even have time to stop and get coffee on the way to work, which definitely doesn’t bode well for my day.
As I breeze past Taylor, I growl, “I need coffee.”
She takes one look at my face and scrambles to her feet, presumably to find me some. I love that girl. She knows me so well. And also, she doesn’t want to put up with me sans caffeine. I know that much is true because I don’t want to put up with me sans caffeine either.
“Alli,” she calls from behind me, but I ignore her. I’m so not in the mood for anything right now until I have imbibed at least two cups.
“I’m not in the mood yet,” I call back as I open my office door.
I’m not usually such a bitch, but a raw crotch will do that to a person.
I stalk into my office and stop.
Alex is sitting casually on the couch, his legs propped up while he reads the Wall Street Journal. I stare. He glances up. He’s got two cups from a local coffee house sitting next to him. He is wearing black pinstripe slacks and a white button-up. He looks fresh and handsome and it’s apparent that he is certainly not suffering from a raw crotch.
And holy shit. Sara was right. It definitely depends on who is wearing the button-up as to how boring it is.
This white-button up is not boring at all. When it is stretched across two strong shoulders like that, how could it be boring?
Alex smiles.
It’s a beautiful smile that makes the corners of his gorgeous eyes crinkle.
“I took a chance and guessed that you like Kona coffee,” he says cheerfully, handing me one of the cups. “Sugar and cream. I’m sorry if it’s not right.”
“Bless you,” I say as I grab the cup greedily from his fingers. I restrain myself from gulping it down in two swallows. Instead, I sip it like a lady. A lady who has been wandering in the desert for two weeks and is ready to die from thirst, that is.
Alex laughs.
“Bad morning?”
I lower the cup. If I admit it, he might think I can’t handle personal stress after all. And I can’t tell him about my vag problems.
“Um. Just busy already,” I tell him.
“Well, I won’t keep you. I just wanted to tell you that I’ll be sitting in your staff meeting today. I just want to get a feel for your department. No big thing. I just didn’t want you to feel surprised.”
I smile. I’m feeling gracious now that the caffeine is circulating through my veins.
“It’s fine. I expected that you would join us today and obviously, you are welcome any time. Is there anything in particular you want us to cover?”
Alex shakes his sexy head.
“No. Just go on with business as usual. If I have questions, I’ll ask.”
He picks up his paper and takes his leave. He is barely gone before I buzz for Taylor. She walks in and I smile pleasantly.
“Is there any reason why you didn’t mention as I walked past you that our new boss was waiting for me in my office?”
She smiles back like the saucy wench that she is.
“Yes. You said that you weren’t in the mood for it yet.”
I take four deep breaths and mentally pick up my stapler and throw it at her smiling head. She smiles wider, as if she knows my thoughts.
“In the future,” I say calmly, still smiling, “Please let me know when Alex Harris is waiting for me, even if I say that I’m not in the mood to hear it.”
She nods cheerfully. “Will do, boss. Should I also always tell you if you have lipstick on your teeth?”
I nod back. “Of course.”
She smiles. “You do.”
“Son of a bitch!”
As it is, I just feel grumpy. When I get in my car, I carefully arrange Brazilian Baldy so that she’s not rubbing against my seat. My phone buzzes. It’s Sara.
That was your vagina talking, not you. You love me. You have to. Because I know all of your secrets.
I sigh. She has a point.
Fine. My vagina hates you, I answer.
I don’t even have time to stop and get coffee on the way to work, which definitely doesn’t bode well for my day.
As I breeze past Taylor, I growl, “I need coffee.”
She takes one look at my face and scrambles to her feet, presumably to find me some. I love that girl. She knows me so well. And also, she doesn’t want to put up with me sans caffeine. I know that much is true because I don’t want to put up with me sans caffeine either.
“Alli,” she calls from behind me, but I ignore her. I’m so not in the mood for anything right now until I have imbibed at least two cups.
“I’m not in the mood yet,” I call back as I open my office door.
I’m not usually such a bitch, but a raw crotch will do that to a person.
I stalk into my office and stop.
Alex is sitting casually on the couch, his legs propped up while he reads the Wall Street Journal. I stare. He glances up. He’s got two cups from a local coffee house sitting next to him. He is wearing black pinstripe slacks and a white button-up. He looks fresh and handsome and it’s apparent that he is certainly not suffering from a raw crotch.
And holy shit. Sara was right. It definitely depends on who is wearing the button-up as to how boring it is.
This white-button up is not boring at all. When it is stretched across two strong shoulders like that, how could it be boring?
Alex smiles.
It’s a beautiful smile that makes the corners of his gorgeous eyes crinkle.
“I took a chance and guessed that you like Kona coffee,” he says cheerfully, handing me one of the cups. “Sugar and cream. I’m sorry if it’s not right.”
“Bless you,” I say as I grab the cup greedily from his fingers. I restrain myself from gulping it down in two swallows. Instead, I sip it like a lady. A lady who has been wandering in the desert for two weeks and is ready to die from thirst, that is.
Alex laughs.
“Bad morning?”
I lower the cup. If I admit it, he might think I can’t handle personal stress after all. And I can’t tell him about my vag problems.
“Um. Just busy already,” I tell him.
“Well, I won’t keep you. I just wanted to tell you that I’ll be sitting in your staff meeting today. I just want to get a feel for your department. No big thing. I just didn’t want you to feel surprised.”
I smile. I’m feeling gracious now that the caffeine is circulating through my veins.
“It’s fine. I expected that you would join us today and obviously, you are welcome any time. Is there anything in particular you want us to cover?”
Alex shakes his sexy head.
“No. Just go on with business as usual. If I have questions, I’ll ask.”
He picks up his paper and takes his leave. He is barely gone before I buzz for Taylor. She walks in and I smile pleasantly.
“Is there any reason why you didn’t mention as I walked past you that our new boss was waiting for me in my office?”
She smiles back like the saucy wench that she is.
“Yes. You said that you weren’t in the mood for it yet.”
I take four deep breaths and mentally pick up my stapler and throw it at her smiling head. She smiles wider, as if she knows my thoughts.
“In the future,” I say calmly, still smiling, “Please let me know when Alex Harris is waiting for me, even if I say that I’m not in the mood to hear it.”
She nods cheerfully. “Will do, boss. Should I also always tell you if you have lipstick on your teeth?”
I nod back. “Of course.”
She smiles. “You do.”
“Son of a bitch!”
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