“What if I’m not worth it?”
She kissed my chin. “What if I think you are?”
“I’m not.” I slid away from her. “I want to be. But I’m not.”
“Can I ask you something else?”
I stood up tall, looking at her dead-on. I expected her to ask me to take her home. And if that was the case, I’d take it like a man, not the messed up teenager I’d struggled so hard to be better than, the guy whose sister had OD’d, his mom fall to pieces.
“Can we postpone the piercing for tonight? Will you let me take you to bed and just hold you?”
A sudden rush of tears made my vision wavy. I blinked them back. The hell I’d let them fall. All I could do was nod, let her lead the way to the bedroom.
Sin used the bathroom first. I went second, scraping my face with a washcloth and doing the two-minute tooth-brushing thing.
She stood beside my bed, still fully dressed. “Naked?” she asked.
“That’s the only way I do it.” Yet I faltered at taking off my clothes.
I was already naked enough before her.
She disrobed in front of me, set her clothes on the chair before folding back the covers on my bed.
“Well?” she asked.
I quickly got down to bare skin and slid in beside her.
Lights out.
In bed.
Her arms around me.
Me, stiff as a board.
“Tell me about the tats.” She slid against me.
“Ink. Memories on my skin.” I found her hand in the dark and kissed her palm before setting it on my chest. “The flowers are for Brooke. Dandelions. Weeds. But they were the brightest yellow, the only thing we had.”
I dragged her hand across the big designs decorating my skin, skulls, crossbones, guns . . . rites of passage and sad memories.
“The deck of cards is for my mom.”
The Joker was almost ghoulishly big on my abdomen, but my mom had been a shark back when Brooke and I’d been growing up. She taught us every game.
“And this?” I positioned her mouth at my shoulder where the jagged needle had been sheared apart by the gunshot wound. “A reminder to stay on the straight and narrow.”
“Did they hurt?”
I shut my eyes. The pain never left me. “You have no idea.”
“I think I do now.” Sin massaged my chest, her head tucked under my chin. “You were a kid. Don’t you think you’ve dealt with enough pain on your own?”
“I don’t know how you can be with me after what I told you,” I whispered.
“Well, I can. I am.” She rubbed my shoulders. “Now cuddle me. Shut up. And go to sleep. I’m in charge for a change.”
We both ignored the vibrant current pulling us together. Everything could wait but this acceptance. This intimacy.
Everything was soft and silent and quiet and comforting . . .
And I just knew it was going backfire in my face.
Chapter Nine
I WAS UP AT first light. No way was Sin getting the jump on me again. When she showed up in the kitchen, freshly showered, wearing my shirt, she scrunched her nose at the egg-white omelet, but her eyes lit up when I waved a plate of crispy bacon under her nose.
More than a little ashamed after last night’s truth telling session, I kept my lips zipped and my hands to myself as I held out a chair for her.
She sat down to breakfast, sipping the tea I’d noticed she’d liked last weekend. “Why are you so quiet?”
“Are you sure you’re okay with me?”
“Cole, everyone makes mistakes. I wouldn’t wish what you’ve lived through on anyone, but you changed .”
I dug into the food, letting her answer swim over me. I didn’t feel absolved of blame. I never would. But I did feel accepted, in all honesty.
Later, as I rinsed the dishes and she loaded the dishwasher, I mentioned, “I still want to pierce you.”
She turned toward me, unbuttoning the shirt until it hung open, a sliver of her body bared to me. Only the sides of the black top clung to the creamy mounds of her tits and her spiked-up nipples.
“Where do you want me?” she asked.
Fuck. Right now? On the table. Or in a chair.
I towed
She kissed my chin. “What if I think you are?”
“I’m not.” I slid away from her. “I want to be. But I’m not.”
“Can I ask you something else?”
I stood up tall, looking at her dead-on. I expected her to ask me to take her home. And if that was the case, I’d take it like a man, not the messed up teenager I’d struggled so hard to be better than, the guy whose sister had OD’d, his mom fall to pieces.
“Can we postpone the piercing for tonight? Will you let me take you to bed and just hold you?”
A sudden rush of tears made my vision wavy. I blinked them back. The hell I’d let them fall. All I could do was nod, let her lead the way to the bedroom.
Sin used the bathroom first. I went second, scraping my face with a washcloth and doing the two-minute tooth-brushing thing.
She stood beside my bed, still fully dressed. “Naked?” she asked.
“That’s the only way I do it.” Yet I faltered at taking off my clothes.
I was already naked enough before her.
She disrobed in front of me, set her clothes on the chair before folding back the covers on my bed.
“Well?” she asked.
I quickly got down to bare skin and slid in beside her.
Lights out.
In bed.
Her arms around me.
Me, stiff as a board.
“Tell me about the tats.” She slid against me.
“Ink. Memories on my skin.” I found her hand in the dark and kissed her palm before setting it on my chest. “The flowers are for Brooke. Dandelions. Weeds. But they were the brightest yellow, the only thing we had.”
I dragged her hand across the big designs decorating my skin, skulls, crossbones, guns . . . rites of passage and sad memories.
“The deck of cards is for my mom.”
The Joker was almost ghoulishly big on my abdomen, but my mom had been a shark back when Brooke and I’d been growing up. She taught us every game.
“And this?” I positioned her mouth at my shoulder where the jagged needle had been sheared apart by the gunshot wound. “A reminder to stay on the straight and narrow.”
“Did they hurt?”
I shut my eyes. The pain never left me. “You have no idea.”
“I think I do now.” Sin massaged my chest, her head tucked under my chin. “You were a kid. Don’t you think you’ve dealt with enough pain on your own?”
“I don’t know how you can be with me after what I told you,” I whispered.
“Well, I can. I am.” She rubbed my shoulders. “Now cuddle me. Shut up. And go to sleep. I’m in charge for a change.”
We both ignored the vibrant current pulling us together. Everything could wait but this acceptance. This intimacy.
Everything was soft and silent and quiet and comforting . . .
And I just knew it was going backfire in my face.
Chapter Nine
I WAS UP AT first light. No way was Sin getting the jump on me again. When she showed up in the kitchen, freshly showered, wearing my shirt, she scrunched her nose at the egg-white omelet, but her eyes lit up when I waved a plate of crispy bacon under her nose.
More than a little ashamed after last night’s truth telling session, I kept my lips zipped and my hands to myself as I held out a chair for her.
She sat down to breakfast, sipping the tea I’d noticed she’d liked last weekend. “Why are you so quiet?”
“Are you sure you’re okay with me?”
“Cole, everyone makes mistakes. I wouldn’t wish what you’ve lived through on anyone, but you changed .”
I dug into the food, letting her answer swim over me. I didn’t feel absolved of blame. I never would. But I did feel accepted, in all honesty.
Later, as I rinsed the dishes and she loaded the dishwasher, I mentioned, “I still want to pierce you.”
She turned toward me, unbuttoning the shirt until it hung open, a sliver of her body bared to me. Only the sides of the black top clung to the creamy mounds of her tits and her spiked-up nipples.
“Where do you want me?” she asked.
Fuck. Right now? On the table. Or in a chair.
I towed
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