Coast (Kick Push Book 2) (The Road 3) by Jay McLean Page B

her before motioning to a chair next to her bed. I sit down, taking her offered hands, my heart swelling and squeezing at the pure joy on her face. “How long have you and she been together, and why did you hide it from me?”
    My stomach drops, my gaze trailing from her to a still-sleeping Becca and I don’t respond.
    “She’s so beautiful, Joshua,” Chaz whispers, her voice laced with excitement. “And those eyes…”
    I don’t know what to say. What to tell her that won’t do any damage to her emotional state, so I press a button on the control attached to her bed and page a nurse, an action I’m all too familiar with.
    —Becca—
    Hands on my shoulders, shaking gently, wake me from my sleep. Josh’s eyes are the first thing I see—dark and tired and full of sadness—the same way they’ve been every time he’s looked at me since the night of my “incident.” I miss the joy in them, the laughter, the love I used to get lost in. I miss him . I wanted to tell him that last night when he’d said it to me while his arms were wrapped around me. But my throat was worn, and reaching for my phone meant moving away from him, and neither of us wanted that. So I searched his gaze, while he searched mine, and I hoped that he’d be able to see it.
    “Your grams is awake,” he whispers.
    I look over his shoulder to the nurse attending to Grams and then back at Josh, my lips parting, my silent question hanging heavy between us. He shakes his head, his gaze dropping. “I’m sorry. She still…” His voice fades, the truth in his answer left unspoken. She still doesn’t remember me.
    “I’m going to hang around here if you need to go home. I won’t leave her side.”
    I sit up and reach for the phone in my bag. I’m not going anywhere.
    “Okay.”
    Did you sleep at all?
    He shakes his head again.
    Maybe you should go get some rest.
    He licks his lips before rubbing his eyes. “Even if I left, I couldn’t sleep. Not until I know what’s wrong with her.”
    I’ll go find us some coffee , I type, offering a supportive smile.
    He shoves his hand in his pocket and pulls out some cash just as the nurse says, “She’s fallen asleep again. I have to monitor her for a while so why don’t you both go? Get something to eat, too. I don’t think either of you have left the room since you got here.”
    Josh raises his eyebrows. “It’s probably not a bad idea.”
    *     *     *
    Josh leads the way, hands in his pockets, head lowered. He doesn’t look for signs or ask for directions. It’s like he has the entire hospital mapped out. I wonder for a moment exactly how much time he’s spent in here. As if reading my thoughts, he murmurs, “When my dad was still able to eat, he used to swear that the hospital food would end up being the cause of his death, so I spent a lot of time at the cafeteria here getting him what he wanted. Then he got sicker, and in my mind it was my fault because it’s hospital food for a reason, right? It’s healthy and it’s what patients need to get better. So one day, I refused to get him the egg sandwich he wanted and I practically shoved the hospital food down his throat. The next day, he was no longer able to swallow on his own.” He laughs once, but it’s sad, broken. “Sometimes I wonder if he did it just to spite me. Because he was that damn stubborn. He went three days without food before his body finally shut down.” His steps falter before stopping completely. Then he turns to me. “This is so morbid, I’m sorry. Your grams isn’t…”
    “I know,” I mouth, ignoring the heaviness of my heart at his words.
    He starts moving again, his hands still in his pockets. “I spoke to the nurse while you were sleeping. There’s a specialist on duty tomorrow. Dr. Richards. He’ll be running all the tests and talking to your grams, so we won’t know anything until he gets here. Right now, she’s not in any pain. She has a slight cold, but her lungs are clearing. I