in this class.”
“Wait a second,” said Alex. “He’s coming over here to do the cloud thing? This is big. This is huge. This is — we have to get ready. You know, prepare.”
“Prepare for what?”
“First we have to clean the whole house. Then, we work on you. Find you a purple shirt to wear.”
“What’s wrong with the shirt she has on?” Joey asked.
“Stevie looks good in purple. And we have to fix your hair. And borrow a little blush.”
I blushed at the thought of putting on blush.
“It’s Science. It’s not a date.”
“I have an idea,” said Joey. “Just wear your pajamas, and don’t have him over here.”
“Stevie, have you even thought about this for two seconds?” Alex asked. “That cloud thing is messy, and you need a lot of water. I’m pretty sure you have to do the cloud thing in the bathtub!”
“So?”
“Bath. Tub,” said Alex. “The bath tub is in the bathroom.”
“Why? Is it a mess in there?”
“Not that. There’s, you know, girl stuff in there.”
“Yeah, like my rubber ducky collection,” said Joey. “Promise you won’t do any science experiments on my rubber duckies. No melting them or anything.”
“Girl stuff? Like, are your days-of-the-week undies hanging in there or something?”
“Yeah, or shirts with words on them?”
“Joey!” I gave her the evil eye. But Alex wasn’t even paying attention.
“I just mean soap and shampoo and toothbrushes and stuff. Do you really want a boy seeing your toothbrush?”
“What’s wrong with my toothbrush?” I asked. Maybe I shouldn’t have said he could come over. But I sure didn’t want to go to his house!
“And . . . there’re probably hair balls in the drain,” said Joey.
“Eeww,” I said.
“Never mind. Boys love hair balls. Boys are hair balls.”
“Stop saying ‘hair balls,’” I pleaded.
“Hey, I just thought of something. You know why a boy can’t see your soap?” Joey joked. “Because boys smell. They don’t like soap. They don’t even know what soap is. So if a boy comes over, you’d have to be, like, ‘Boy. Meet Soap. Soap, this is a boy.’” She laughed herself silly.
“Joey, this is so not helping. I already feel kinda weird as it is,” I admitted.
“Kind of weird?” said Joey. “You’re weird if you don’t know how weird it is.”
“Stevie, it’ll be fine,” said Alex. “Just don’t let him near the bathroom.”
“But what if he has to, you know, go?”
“Tell him to find a tree,” said Joey.
“Joey! I’m not going to —”
“Send him over to the Raven,” said Alex.
“Okay, what else? We’re going to need a big giant tub of water.”
“Ask Dad to blow up the old kiddie pool. And put it in the backyard,” Alex suggested. “And don’t let him in the family room because it’s just so embarrassing with Dad’s old props. Like, who has a knight in their living room? And there’s zucchini all over the kitchen, so don’t let him in there. And promise me you won’t wear those pants! And no slippers!”
“What’s wrong with my pants?” I had on my favorite jeans with holes in the knees. They looked fine to me. This boy thing sure was complicated.
I made a T with my hands. “Time out, time out, you guys. Alex, I’m not wearing makeup or anything! It’s not like I like him, like him. He’s just a friend. If that. I barely know him. So I’m just going to be myself. And Joey? Boys aren’t that bad. They don’t all smell and burp and punch you and stuff. So just think of him like Olivia. Only with glasses.”
Alex looked down at her hands. Joey stared at the carpet. Neither sister said a word for close to three minutes.
“I’m just saying. If he has to come over, stay outside and don’t let him inside the house,” Joey said.
“What’s wrong with him coming in the house?”
Joey hit her hand to her head in exasperation. “One. I’m here. Two. Boy cooties!”
I was already waiting for him in the back -yard when Wire
“Wait a second,” said Alex. “He’s coming over here to do the cloud thing? This is big. This is huge. This is — we have to get ready. You know, prepare.”
“Prepare for what?”
“First we have to clean the whole house. Then, we work on you. Find you a purple shirt to wear.”
“What’s wrong with the shirt she has on?” Joey asked.
“Stevie looks good in purple. And we have to fix your hair. And borrow a little blush.”
I blushed at the thought of putting on blush.
“It’s Science. It’s not a date.”
“I have an idea,” said Joey. “Just wear your pajamas, and don’t have him over here.”
“Stevie, have you even thought about this for two seconds?” Alex asked. “That cloud thing is messy, and you need a lot of water. I’m pretty sure you have to do the cloud thing in the bathtub!”
“So?”
“Bath. Tub,” said Alex. “The bath tub is in the bathroom.”
“Why? Is it a mess in there?”
“Not that. There’s, you know, girl stuff in there.”
“Yeah, like my rubber ducky collection,” said Joey. “Promise you won’t do any science experiments on my rubber duckies. No melting them or anything.”
“Girl stuff? Like, are your days-of-the-week undies hanging in there or something?”
“Yeah, or shirts with words on them?”
“Joey!” I gave her the evil eye. But Alex wasn’t even paying attention.
“I just mean soap and shampoo and toothbrushes and stuff. Do you really want a boy seeing your toothbrush?”
“What’s wrong with my toothbrush?” I asked. Maybe I shouldn’t have said he could come over. But I sure didn’t want to go to his house!
“And . . . there’re probably hair balls in the drain,” said Joey.
“Eeww,” I said.
“Never mind. Boys love hair balls. Boys are hair balls.”
“Stop saying ‘hair balls,’” I pleaded.
“Hey, I just thought of something. You know why a boy can’t see your soap?” Joey joked. “Because boys smell. They don’t like soap. They don’t even know what soap is. So if a boy comes over, you’d have to be, like, ‘Boy. Meet Soap. Soap, this is a boy.’” She laughed herself silly.
“Joey, this is so not helping. I already feel kinda weird as it is,” I admitted.
“Kind of weird?” said Joey. “You’re weird if you don’t know how weird it is.”
“Stevie, it’ll be fine,” said Alex. “Just don’t let him near the bathroom.”
“But what if he has to, you know, go?”
“Tell him to find a tree,” said Joey.
“Joey! I’m not going to —”
“Send him over to the Raven,” said Alex.
“Okay, what else? We’re going to need a big giant tub of water.”
“Ask Dad to blow up the old kiddie pool. And put it in the backyard,” Alex suggested. “And don’t let him in the family room because it’s just so embarrassing with Dad’s old props. Like, who has a knight in their living room? And there’s zucchini all over the kitchen, so don’t let him in there. And promise me you won’t wear those pants! And no slippers!”
“What’s wrong with my pants?” I had on my favorite jeans with holes in the knees. They looked fine to me. This boy thing sure was complicated.
I made a T with my hands. “Time out, time out, you guys. Alex, I’m not wearing makeup or anything! It’s not like I like him, like him. He’s just a friend. If that. I barely know him. So I’m just going to be myself. And Joey? Boys aren’t that bad. They don’t all smell and burp and punch you and stuff. So just think of him like Olivia. Only with glasses.”
Alex looked down at her hands. Joey stared at the carpet. Neither sister said a word for close to three minutes.
“I’m just saying. If he has to come over, stay outside and don’t let him inside the house,” Joey said.
“What’s wrong with him coming in the house?”
Joey hit her hand to her head in exasperation. “One. I’m here. Two. Boy cooties!”
I was already waiting for him in the back -yard when Wire
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