One: Laura
Your life can change completely in one night. Isn’t that the theme of all the bullshit romantic comedies that girls like me are supposed to eat up?
It’s supposed to go like this. You’re out at a bar and your eyes meet the man of your dreams across a crowded room, and the connection is instant. Or, you’re driving along, minding your own business, when some asshole, who’s not looking where he’s going, runs into you. Except he’s not any regular asshole, in fact he’s your age, and cute as hell, and rich, and will do anything to make up for the inconvenience, including taking you out to dinner, or for a trip on his yacht. Or
Well, you get the picture. There are a thousand variations on the theme. It’s such a common device that movie people and screenwriters even have a name for it. They call it the “cute meet”; a random encounter that ends up seeming like it’s destiny, because once these two people have met, and even though there are a ton of obstacles that get in their way, they are meant for each other. And, of course, they live happily ever after.
And, it can happen. Maybe. To other people.
But what they don’t tell you when you’re growing up is that it can go the other way too. One night, one chance encounter can drag you under, ripping you away from the people you love, and leave you questioning everything you’ve ever believed in. It doesn’t just change your life, if you’re not careful, it changes you.
Can you get back from that place? I’m still trying to figure that out. Everyone keeps telling me that the only way I can do it is to learn to trust people again. I need, they tell me, to break down the walls I’ve built up to keep people out; the walls that I use to keep everyone at a distance.
The way they say it, makes it sound easy. It’s really not. You can’t just snap your fingers and the walls are gone. It’s a long, slow, painful process that’s prone to setbacks. That’s what my life is now.
I know they’re right. I want to get back to being the person I was, the old Laura. I really do. The only problem is that she’s gone.
One night, you see. That’s all it takes for your life to change completely.
Not that it’s all bleak. There’s Drew. Though that’s beyond complicated. You might think that you know complicated, but believe me, when it comes to me and Drew (sorry, mom, Drew and I ), it’s off the chart.
If only I had met him that night, instead of the man who raped me.
Two
Four months earlier
Tonight, I was finally going to be able to let my hair down. My third year of college in California had gone by in a blur. I only had a month to go before I finished for the summer. Tonight was my one chance to let off some steam before all my papers and assignments had to be in.
A full schedule of classes, a not so part-time job as a waitress at the Palace Grill just off State Street, plus all the day-to-day hassles that I never really noticed until I was no longer living at home (laundry, cooking, buying groceries, and generally handling life on my own), had made for a frenetic but ultimately satisfying eight months, and a real sense of achievement. I had made it. Well, almost. Next year, I would be a senior. Then it was out into the big, bad world. Although I already felt like I was dealing with more than most adults had to. I mean how many people studied full-time and worked a job evenings and weekends?
I had finished the year with a less than stellar grade point average, but I had finished all the same. I was never going to be a star student. Not that I was dumb, but I still hadn’t found anything that really excited me yet. There was still time though, and my Mom had told me not to worry about it. She was good like that. Having to be Mom and Dad after my Dad had walked out on us when I was still a baby meant that all the usual jobs that might fall to a Dad to take care of, all fell to her. I wasn’t complaining, she always
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