one of those quick, sarcastic laughs. As in, If you only knew . But I said, âFine.â
âYeah?â
âYes, sir,â I responded, looking down at my shoes. âIt stinks like always.â
âWell, come here, sit down. Tell me whatâs the matter.â
âItâs nothing, Dad,â I said, still standing. âItâs just school. Nobody likes it.â
âYou know, Sara,â he said, resting his hand on my shoulder. âI know we donât talk much anymore, and I know we havenât seen much of each other lately, but Iâm still here, and you can talk to me about anything you want. No matter what it might be.â
âDad.â I was completely not comfortable talking to him about this day. Instead, I said, âDoes Mom know youâre here?â
âYou think itâs okay if I get a few more of my things out of storage?â He said it kind of like he was questioning me, and it made me feel like absolute dirt. I mean, it seemed weird that he would have to ask permission to do anything, especially to come into the house he had picked out.
âSorry, Dad,â I said. âItâs just that, you know how Mom gets when anything unexpected happens.â
âI know. But donât worry about your momma. Iâll be out of here in a few minutes. Oh, baby girl,â he said, ruffling my hair. âDonât you worry too much. Life isnât just school. Only a small part of it. Howâre your grades?â
I shrugged. âI bombed a math quiz today.â
âYeah?â
âSystems of equations,â I confessed. âIâm terrible at them.â
âWell,â he said, picking up his keys and jiggling them in his palm, âwho isnât?â He smiled at me again, and his eyes looked tired but sweet. He had the bluest eyes in our whole family. Elisabethâs were blue too, but not like Dadâs. I had always wished I had eyes like his, but I got Momâs brown ones instead. âSomething else bothering you?â
He was making me nervous, standing there like he didnât have a thing to worry about. âMomâs gonna be home soon.â
âWait a sec,â he said, glancing up at the round brass clock on the wall we got from Tuesday Morning. âArenât you supposed to be in school?â
âI left early today.â
âOh, you did, did you? Whatâs this all about?â His voice turned stern, his eyes fixed on me.
I sighed. I wanted to tell himâI needed to tell someoneâbut I had no idea where to begin. âItâs a long story.â
He nodded his head and looked down at his palm, rubbing his thumb across it. âTell you what. How about you and me go get some early dinner. Lubyâs has Salisbury steak tonight. What do you say?â
Â
Dadâs old Ford pickup had a sticker of a kid peeing on the Chevy symbol on the back windshield that Mom had despised. I thought it was gross, too, but I also secretly liked the rare moments when Dad was crass. I was also the only one in the family he joked around with or did outdoorsy stuff withâlike hanging the flag and even going to the shooting range. Once a year, Dad went hunting in the mountains of Montana or down to Mexico with a couple of his buddies, and he started going to the shooting range every Saturday two months before his trips. He used to take me with him, but for the life of me I canât figure out why I liked it so much. Iâm no fan of hunting, and Iâd never even want to hold a gun, but there was something about the indoor shooting range that I liked. I loved wearing the big earphones, and Dad always let me hold the button that whizzes the paper torso target backthat shows how well you shot. Iâd take those home with me, along with a couple of the fat, red shotgun shells. I loved those plastic shells and would sometimes carry them around in my pocket all week until we went
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