Chapter One
I have to tell them. They're my closest friends, they
won't judge or blame me like my university friends did.
Carina sat
watching the campfire crackle and spit as she mentally warred with herself.
This camping trip she and her four best friends had embarked on was to
reconnect with each other. They had all concluded that they didn't see each
other often enough anymore, and a trip away together would be the perfect way
to remedy the problem. Surely they'd listen to her troubles. They may even have
some idea on how she could move on from it. Her mind decided that moment was
the perfect time to inundate her with her memories of that horrid evening. Her
body shuddered as she did everything she could to hold the memories down below
the surface of her consciousness. She felt eyes on her and looked up in a panic
to see who had caught her in her weakest moment. Eilagh.
"You know,
Carina, you can tell us anything. There is no need to hide or be ashamed. We
all love you. Please, let us help."
Eilagh's quiet
words cut straight through all the defensive walls Carina had built since the
attack. She shook her head and closed her eyes as she felt the sting of tears.
As they slid down her cheeks, she knew all her friends would be able to see
their tracks glistening in the firelight.
Her breath
caught on a sob as her four friends all crowded in around her and wrapped her
in a group hug. She laid her head on Skye's shoulder and let go. Her sobs were
loud and echoed off the great rocks of Kata Tjuta—she didn't care. Her soul was
bleeding. She'd kept all the pain in for so long she felt like she was slowly
dying inside.
Carina clung to
her friends as she wept, and once she'd taken the edge off her pain she knew
she had to tell them about the attack. She kept her face buried in Skye's neck.
She needed to tell them, but she didn't want to see their faces while she did.
She'd never get through it if she saw either pity or blame on any of their
faces.
"Ten
months, three days." She paused for a deep breath to steel herself before
she could continue.
"Ten months
and three days ago, I was coming home late from university. It was already
pretty dark, but I've walked that road hundreds of times and never had any
trouble. I noticed this group of guys move in behind me. They gave me the
creeps, so I started walking faster. I got my phone out to call the police. I
nearly had the third number entered in when a man coming from the opposite
direction walked straight up to me, forcing me to stop." She paused to let
a sob escape her throat and felt one of her friends begin to stroke her hair. It felt nice, soothed her enough so she could continue.
"I went to
finish dialing just as the man in front of me shoved me back. My phone fell
from my hand and skidded away. I went to lunge for it, but the guys that had
been behind me grabbed me. They covered my mouth so I couldn't yell and dragged
me down an alleyway. There were five of them. They took turns … it hurt so
much. At first, I was scared they wanted to kill me. After they all raped me, I wanted them to kill me. It hurt so bad . They finally stopped when they'd had enough and left me
there in the alley." She stopped as the sobs wracking her body became too
much to talk through. She was back in that alley, could feel their rough hands
on her and could smell the alcohol on their breaths. Skye's hand gently rubbing
circles on her back helped her ground herself.
" Shhh , honey. It's okay. You're safe now. We've got you." Skye kept repeating
her words. Eventually the chaos in Carina's mind slowed, and she heard the
words. She was safe; it was over. Her friends had her now. She wrapped her arms
tightly around Skye's neck.
She closed her
eyes against the memories, but couldn't stop her body from shaking. Would she
ever feel better? Would she ever heal from this?
Eilagh pushed
her hair behind her ear. "Why don't you move to Darwin and live with me?
Get a fresh start away from Sydney and
I have to tell them. They're my closest friends, they
won't judge or blame me like my university friends did.
Carina sat
watching the campfire crackle and spit as she mentally warred with herself.
This camping trip she and her four best friends had embarked on was to
reconnect with each other. They had all concluded that they didn't see each
other often enough anymore, and a trip away together would be the perfect way
to remedy the problem. Surely they'd listen to her troubles. They may even have
some idea on how she could move on from it. Her mind decided that moment was
the perfect time to inundate her with her memories of that horrid evening. Her
body shuddered as she did everything she could to hold the memories down below
the surface of her consciousness. She felt eyes on her and looked up in a panic
to see who had caught her in her weakest moment. Eilagh.
"You know,
Carina, you can tell us anything. There is no need to hide or be ashamed. We
all love you. Please, let us help."
Eilagh's quiet
words cut straight through all the defensive walls Carina had built since the
attack. She shook her head and closed her eyes as she felt the sting of tears.
As they slid down her cheeks, she knew all her friends would be able to see
their tracks glistening in the firelight.
Her breath
caught on a sob as her four friends all crowded in around her and wrapped her
in a group hug. She laid her head on Skye's shoulder and let go. Her sobs were
loud and echoed off the great rocks of Kata Tjuta—she didn't care. Her soul was
bleeding. She'd kept all the pain in for so long she felt like she was slowly
dying inside.
Carina clung to
her friends as she wept, and once she'd taken the edge off her pain she knew
she had to tell them about the attack. She kept her face buried in Skye's neck.
She needed to tell them, but she didn't want to see their faces while she did.
She'd never get through it if she saw either pity or blame on any of their
faces.
"Ten
months, three days." She paused for a deep breath to steel herself before
she could continue.
"Ten months
and three days ago, I was coming home late from university. It was already
pretty dark, but I've walked that road hundreds of times and never had any
trouble. I noticed this group of guys move in behind me. They gave me the
creeps, so I started walking faster. I got my phone out to call the police. I
nearly had the third number entered in when a man coming from the opposite
direction walked straight up to me, forcing me to stop." She paused to let
a sob escape her throat and felt one of her friends begin to stroke her hair. It felt nice, soothed her enough so she could continue.
"I went to
finish dialing just as the man in front of me shoved me back. My phone fell
from my hand and skidded away. I went to lunge for it, but the guys that had
been behind me grabbed me. They covered my mouth so I couldn't yell and dragged
me down an alleyway. There were five of them. They took turns … it hurt so
much. At first, I was scared they wanted to kill me. After they all raped me, I wanted them to kill me. It hurt so bad . They finally stopped when they'd had enough and left me
there in the alley." She stopped as the sobs wracking her body became too
much to talk through. She was back in that alley, could feel their rough hands
on her and could smell the alcohol on their breaths. Skye's hand gently rubbing
circles on her back helped her ground herself.
" Shhh , honey. It's okay. You're safe now. We've got you." Skye kept repeating
her words. Eventually the chaos in Carina's mind slowed, and she heard the
words. She was safe; it was over. Her friends had her now. She wrapped her arms
tightly around Skye's neck.
She closed her
eyes against the memories, but couldn't stop her body from shaking. Would she
ever feel better? Would she ever heal from this?
Eilagh pushed
her hair behind her ear. "Why don't you move to Darwin and live with me?
Get a fresh start away from Sydney and
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