ChristmasInHisHeart by Lee Brazil, Havan Fellows

shook on the water bottle. He set it down with a clatter, his gaze flying to Xander’s face, but Xander, as always, was one hundred percent absorbed in his food, sniffing it, eyes rolling back in his head, mouth parted moistly. Dermot released that breath, relaxing. It might be okay for him to suspect that after a week or such of constant contact he’d become dependent on Xander’s company, come to love curling up with him in bed and watching Diners, Drive-ins and Dives or some other show in back to back Netflix marathons.
    It might be okay for him to suspect that he was in love with the big goof, but he wasn’t ready to share that, not with anyone, even the man himself.
    It felt too personal, and he kind of wasn’t ready to believe it yet. What if he went around telling everyone and then discovered that it was just temporary, like gas or indigestion bubbling around inside instead of something that was a forever thing?
    Or Xander decided, like his predecessors, that Christmas was more important than he’d thought?
    “It’s bacon mac and cheese, with gruyere and a bit of fontina,” he said, seating himself and opening his own lunch blindly while Xander picked up his fork and hummed happily, taking a huge bite of the steaming casserole. “Careful you don’t burn yourself!”
    “M’sorry. S’good,” Xander mumbled with his mouth full. He chewed and swallowed. “Sorry, it’s just that we’re so busy, I can’t really take a long lunch today. I hate to eat and run, but with the season picking up, we’ve got so many craft classes going on, and delivery trucks coming in…I hired some part-timers, but I don’t want to add anyone else to the payroll with only three weeks to go before the January lull hits. What did you want to talk about? I have time to listen. I can chew and listen, I think.” He glanced down worshipfully at his lunch, and that pride, the warm glow of accomplishment melted Dermot’s insides all over again.
    “That’s what I was going to say.” Dermot was relieved that Xander seemed to be in the same position. “It’s getting so busy. We’re finding crowds outside when we open at eleven. I’m going to start opening at ten and stop closing at two, at least until the season ends.”
    “That’s great! Business must be booming. I hardly ever see an empty table in the dining room.”
    Dermot nodded. “The takeout idea you had is awesome too. Our lunch boxes are selling as fast as Chaz can put them together.” He took the bull by the horns. “But it will mean that I can’t really bring you lunch at eleven anymore.”
    Xander nodded, wiping cheese sauce from his lip. “I love your food, almost as much as I love you, but it’s okay. I’ll survive coming over and picking up my own lunch for a few weeks until everything calms down again.”
    Dermot pouted. Why? It was exactly what he needed to hear. Oh… “But then I won’t see you.” He’d be in the kitchens, his favorite place to be, yes, but not when Xander was in the dining room, eating his food. “I thought I could bring your lunch over at two.”
    “I thought you were staying open at two? Won’t you be too busy?”
    The hope, the pleasure, the eagerness for his company that Xander felt was so clear in his words and the way his shining eyes latched onto Dermot’s face that Dermot ached with the urge to blurt out that I love you he’d held back before. “No, we’ll probably have enough business, but not so much that Chaz, Macy, and Percy won’t be able to handle everything.”
    They ate in silence, but it was comfortable. Appeasing their appetites for food while the ever present sexual hunger simmered between them.
    “Dermot?”
    “Yes?” He looked up from contemplating Xander’s lip, where another drop of creamy cheese had fallen astray. If he leaned forward, he could lick it away, but would Xander freak out over that? Probably not. Dermot leaned forward…ready to put action to the thought, but Xander’s tongue